Sunday, January 11, 2009

Can I just say one little thing about Oprah, Firefox?

Stop crashing, willya? Twice in under 30 seconds, must be a new record for you. First I'm told it's crashing because I have the latest version (with the bugs yet to be worked out), then I'm told I need the latest one to stop the crashing.

Guess what? Hasn't stopped.

Oh well. It's still not anywhere near as bad as the dark days of CompuServe and dialup. (Youtube was the only video player that worked for us, and god, uploading a photo... I actually uploaded a video when we had dialup. Took a few tries, but I did it.)

Anyways, I said this when I first saw this incredibly! shocking! story! on the incredibly! shitty! show! "Inside Edition" (on before Jeopardy), and what is a blog for but what you say or don't say, because you're too polite and your mom told you to be nice, they're family.

Yeah, it was about Oprah's shocking! weight gain and how ashamed she was and blah blah blah. And the next cover of her magazine. (Never watched her show.)

When I first saw that flash on the screen, I couldn't tell which one was the "fat" Oprah. No, really.

That's my main point. My secondary point is she looks fine at 200 lbs. I can't comment on her health, only her looks. And she looks great.

There is this awful picture of me at my 16th birthday looking really fat (especially in the face, which is especially red), so I know from experience how it can look good and how it can't. I probably weigh more now, but I like what my face looks like (at least in the mirror, and when I smile at little children, they don't start screaming) and I wish my mom would get rid of that damned picture. I mean, Baskin Robbins didn't even get us the right cake!

I think Oprah should listen to me, a little nobody, and just stop this. Work on being healthy, like we all should, and not on the number on the scale. ETA: And she is doing that! But I bet that won't stop her from coming out with her abs bared when she loses some multiple of 5 pounds in the coming year.

Oh god, speaking of diets, some of the latest ads are kind of creeping me out. One shows hunger as a monster that you can beat with their product and the phrasing is so borderline eating disorder, it illustrates everything wrong with diets, especially those advertised on TV. Though I was proud, I guess, of SlimFast's latest, which showed a woman a teensy bit bigger than the women in the other diet ads. Especially Special K's latest terrible offering, where the Mom (in a huge puffy coat that makes everyone look fat) is compared to a snowman by her awful child and runs off to her Special K cabinet.

Speaking of weight loss, I've lost at least 15 pounds in 6 months, and I don't know how. I see my endocrinologist every six months, so I trust his scale a bit more than my OB's, since I see him every month. (Makes no sense, I know, but if something were happening, it would continue happening and show up at the endo's. And it did.)

It was so silly. I was like, "That sounds lower than last time. Is it?" The nurse said yes, and my mom was all "High five!" Sadly, I left her hanging. She said women were supposed to celebrate weight loss and I pointed out that I couldn't celebrate when I didn't even know what I'd even done.

To wrap this up, I've only seen one thing about this (not my miraculous weight loss, Oprah!) and in the entire thing, the author never says she looks good. Though apparently there are health concerns. I check Jezebel daily, and knew there'd be something. And while I agree with everything said, I still expected at least a body positive comment. Perhaps at least one commenter will deliver.

If not, I may have to put on my trust Anonymous hat and comment again. (Just commented for the first time today and I've been reading since some time this summer.) But I doubt I'll have to.

I know somebody else out there feels the same way I do.

Oprah looks great and has looked great every time I've seen her and will probably continue to look great until she dies, which won't be for a long, long time.

ETA: I am tempted to disclose my weight, except I don't remember it. I have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to weight. Like Oprah's current weight? Had to look it up. But I can tell you that at Open House at my third elementary school, in second grade, I called the teacher "Mom" or possibly "Mommy" and nobody heard, or if they did, they never said anything.

I also vividly remember the one rude comment about my looks the first time I posted a picture of myself on a message board. (I was compared to Pat of SNL fame.) I have incredibly thin skin.

ETA yet again: Kate Harding said it better, with less asides. (And she's talked to Oprah!) I saw either the Memphis or County mayor in a Memphis Home Depot once, and I totally bashed NBC right to a local NBC anchorman's face while waiting for my English class. We were in another room, watching a movie. My teacher was so cool, we were tardy, it was unexcused, but nothing ever came of it. And I talked to a guy who'd been on the teevee! Also, also, my mom totally met the two main Memphis detectives from A&E's the First 48 at the Rick Springfield concert at the fair this fall. They know my dad, and they've been on cable! Kate Harding is also a coherent blogger, which explains why she has commenters and I talk to myself, only to be embarrassed by something on this later. (I will be important enough to be embarrassed by the blog I started to jot down my experiences in a psych ward, dammit!)

And yes, a commenter did say Oprah looked great now on the first page of comments. Perhaps Dodai thought it went without saying?

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