The heat is so not cool.

I'm on this pain patch so I can get constant pain relief while keeping my mental facilities.

It's great.

Only...

Yesterday at 9, my mom put on a new one, with a Tegaderm tape patch that is just bigger than the patch itself. The pharmacist gave us the first one free. That's important.

Anyways, the patch means I can do things I couldn't before - like ride my bike to the library when I want to. And the library is open, they've already not checked in a book I turned in, so I now check them in before checking new ones out, so I know it's checked in.

I didn't go yesterday because my lower abdomen/pelvic area was hurting, almost at 10, a number of times, and the bleeding (breakthrough) had increased.

Today, though, little pain, no bleeding since 5 AM... and I got my meningitis and hepatitis shots today - they're recommended by the University, but not required yet. They probably will be soon. I got mine for free, no appointment needed, because we went on base. So cool.

My mom and sister went to the base yesterday to find about getting a day pass (before September 11th, everyone could use the base as a shortcut), and dealt with a lazy, young asshole. And at the clinic, they dealt with another person who went out of his or her way not to help.

Well, we waited about 20-30 minutes for a pass, and the lady got us a pass good for a year! Mom just needs one of us with her (her name is the only one on it, so she and Beck can do some tax free shopping at the NEX). She was so nice.

And then we didn't have to wait at the clinic, just go down to the immunization room. The guy was young and nice and clearly loved his job.

I got the shots through an air gun type thing. Scary looking as hell, but no more pain than a normal shot, less, because it was so quick. He said it used CO2.

It was like a piercing gun!

Afterwards, we came home and lounged, and after Jeopardy (I won all the money), I decided to ride my bike to the library. I'd gotten a call yesterday saying a book I'd ordered had come in. Both were there when I got there, cool.

I've stopped taking my water bottle, because if I drink at the 2 red lights I must cross (they change before I'm halfway across, grr), the light will change and I will hold people up.

Plus I could get my books or purse wet.

And I don't think it's allowed in the library, not that they've said boo.

So I got home at 5, face as red as a tomato painted red.

Tuesday, I went to the library as well, and when I got home, Becky told me I had to take a shower. I was wearing a bright red shirt that was pale in comparison to my face.

So today, I took a cold shower.

And my patch...

It hadn't fallen off, I still had to pull it off, but it was useless - the tegaderm patch and the medical tape did nothing - water got in, bad scene.

By the way, I passed a time and temperature sign before crossing the street into my neighborhood at 5, and it was 100 degrees and so damn humid.

Anyways... my point is... the patch is supposed to let me do things, but not if it can't survive body movements or sweat!

I can't go outside until the doctor appointment Monday afternoon - no bike rides, no yard work. Oh, the sadness... actually, that's a clear conscience, mom's recovering from surgery, I'd lose my patch, I'll keep you hydrated Becky, I promise.

Actually, she mows the yard really fast since Mom says she doesn't have to bag it. An hour for both, at most, and we're mowing our neighbor's front yard as well. (They connect.)


So this patch is working very well on the pain, but I can't do anything or I'll lose it!

That sucks.

And we don't know where to put the damn thing - we started with the stomach - the site of the pain.

It peeled so much, it wouldn't stick to the curve of my abdomen even with a complete covering of tape, which we're worried is a bad idea, it needs to breathe I think.

The back's been the best, because if it's too low or too far from the center, it can peel up.

My mom thinks we should try the arm and wrap it up in something, but I doubt it would stay on the rounded arm.

We'll find out more Monday.

It's been a month since I should have gotten my last Lupron shot - it was a 3 month amount. And it's a 6 month drug, with 3 months off, I think.

So I'm fatigued, nauseous, and my lower abdomen hurts a lot after using the bathroom, at least since the 13th except today.

Not to mention the bright red breakthrough blood. I'm on birth control, I shouldn't be bleeding.

And when I was on the Lupron, when I stopped the birth control, more breakthrough bleeding!

So it has to be both...

I don't know...

I hate summer.

I have a plan for my dorm room - the one I stayed in at orientation had ugly pink carpeting, but it was pretty low plush and not more than three-quarters dog hair and pee.

A book I had on college from 1994 or 1995 (Some schools have an e-mail system! Ooh! More teachers want typed papers! Ooh!) had an idea for your dorm room - apparently, most have cold tile floors, which is bliss in the summer, at least to me. I mean, I've laid down on the kitchen floor because it was so hot - last summer, during the first Lupron treatment, I slept on carpet and a floor vent at my Aunt's house.

Anyways, the book said get a carpet remnant or throw rug to warm up your cold floor.

So I got to wondering...

Can I get an area of tile to cover my carpet?

It's an idea.

Another thing from the book that I loved - be glad you're homesick! It's a compliment, a sign your home is loving.

My sister and I will be homesick.

My mom and her siblings and my dad and his siblings wanted the f!ck out of there as soon as they could. Mom missed the house, not the home.

However, dad doesn't think it's good, when you're 18, you're out on your ass, health problems or no, or in my sister's case, not having finished high school...

Whatever...


I can't wait for Halloween, it gets kind of tolerable around then.


My point? I left Iceland around Christmas '94, when I was six, and I still miss the snow.

Mom was 32, she has clear memories of it, and she's not a fan of the heat here, but she doesn't want to live in Iceland - the whole darkness all winter long made her so depressed, she never got out of the house - dad had work, I had school...

I still miss the snow.

It's so easy to warm yourself up, but so hard to cool down.

And humidity.

I'm so glad I don't care about my hair beyond washing and brushing, nothing to worry about thanks to the moisture, while Becky frizzes out and freaks out.

Gotta love her.



Yeah, I rambled.

Got a problem with that?

Oh bother and such.

It appears someone put an iron corset laced with knives and stickpins on me during my hour and half nap - ironically, right after I took 2 pain pills.

Oh bother and such.

I was having a good day - check the links - what do you see? Prince cavorting half-naked and singing about kissing. God love Myspace video! (I don't have that song on CD.)

I've also made it to chapter 7 in Ishmael Beah's book - ha! The carnage in the beginning should be enough to make me have nightmares, except I had a very weird, normal-for-me dream today.

I think it's true - fictionalized violence deadens us to the real thing. *glares at shelf full of Stephen King* But this really happened, and what's worse, it's continuing all over the world...

He hasn't been recruited yet, he's just seen too many innocents die.

He's only 8 years older than me.

*goggles*

I was going to return it with Godless yesterday when I rode my bike to the library (and back! 3.4 miles - uphill both ways, ha, the wind was a bitch, if you saw a looney on a blue bike with a stream of messy blonde hair behind her yesterday, yo.) and decided not to. I have to read it. he was on the Daily Show, true, but I rarely read the conservative authors featured. It's so compelling, so sad, so damn true.

Wickett and his Bike

The Official King of Memphis and Shelby County, his highness, Wickett the Crabby.

My 16th birthday vehicle present.

"Close your eyes, Kaitlyn." *please be a car, please be a car, please be a car*

"Ta da!"

A bike, a blue girl's bike that is fucking awesome.

Okay, it didn't really go that way. I spent most of the spring and summer of 2004 (after my skin infection healed) riding my bike. Actually, it was mom's old pink bike and I loved it, but it was at least as old as I am - a garage sale find.

So a few weeks before my birthday, my dad takes me to Wal-Mart to get a bike. I fell in love with it. We also got a basket, an odometer (600+ miles so far), and one of those U-shaped locks that can be picked with a pen. Whoops.





(My sister is a much better photographer, but she is asleep. Something about how it's 11 pm and she has school tomorrow and blah blah blah.)

I love my bike.

I was inspired to write this after reading about a year old horror at Pandagon. Someone stole Amanda's bike! Not as awesome as mine, her basket's in the back, a dog can't ride in the back basket, dur.

And it got me worried, so I just wrote a note to myself and mom (she is the one with the money) saying we need to visit BikesPlus before the summer starts, so I can feel confident while riding around my piddly town, and then riding around Memphis.

If I stay healthy - I woke up from a 45 minute nap today with a thousand knives in my abdomen - I'd love to work as a courier - anything on my bike.

It is such a thrill to ride it - don't get me wrong, I like walking, but biking's faster, and you can sit when you're tired. And you don't have to hold your bottle of water in your hands, and my favorite, worry about dog poop.

You see the white towel in the basket? It's for Wickett.

He loves to go on bike rides.

The boys have harnesses that are called "Yuppy Puppy". They are adorable, and they don't hurt them, despite what they'll tell you.

The best thing about them, though, is the easily adjustable part, which end with a metal ring to attach to a leash.

Or, when it comes to the bike, a shower hook. It works wonders. He only jumped once (he was going to beat up that Golden Retriever, yes he was) and he ended up hanging sideways off the front of the basket. He never did it again.

We went on a ride last Thursday, about 3 miles just circling the neighborhood, and he was the King of the neighborhood, no the world. He sat there with his ears wide open, checking everybody out, he was in charge.

When he's tired (I sit in the basket and make him pedal, of course), he shows me in two ways. One is when I stop, he turns and looks at me. The other is settling down, below the top of the basket. And yes, he is often compared to Toto.

He loves it when little kids try to pet him - they're shorter than him, therefor they are not a threat and can pet him. He actually loves them, his tail starts wagging, he wants out to lick this strange little boy. One time, a bunch of little kids came over, and he was all lovey-dovey and I gave them the OK. Then their parents came rushing over, and naturally, he started yelling, proving their point that he was dangerous.

No one taller can come near him, they will remove him from the basket. And that is bad.

However, there is this elderly woman that adores him. She's never pet him, he won't let her, but she loves to see him in his basket.

Mikey's ridden a couple times, and he just hunkers downand waits for it to be over, much like he does in the car. But he wants to go in both - he cries if Wickett goes. And Dixie? What a whiner when we left. "Where are they? Why can't I go? I can fit in a basket!"


Another thing about biking - I would love to live in a place where I can use it instead of a car. I know I have to get a driver's license (how else will people know I'm an organ donor?), but I can't right now. Too many of my medications - not just the pain pills and antihistamines - have drowsy warnings.

Last time I drove (13 or 14, everyone else was starting then, I should too), we ended up in a ditch. There were too many cars on the road and the brake and gas switched places.

I think I will have my sister teach me one upcoming summer when I am healthy, as I am 18, and can forego the permit mess. She got her permit in November and will get her license a couple days after school ends. Stay off the roads if you live in the Memphis area!

I don't want to drive.

I do not want to drive.

I know how, I know the basics, I could pass the test, I just do not want to.

I'd love to zip on the interstate at 70 miles an hour, or drive on a back, tree-lined road devoid of all humans but myself, but that's not what most driving is.

Most is stop-and-go, and that's maddening enough as a passenger!

I can't imagine how it feels as the driver.

One day, after leaving a doctor appointment right when rush hour began, my mom elected to use the stop-and-go roads rather than the interstate, as it was already backed up.

We were starving, so we pulled into McDonalds and got 2 large fries. I don't care how unhealthy they are, they are the best!

I realized that fast food like that, something simple to eat, something damn tasty, is a good preventive measure against road rage. You're happy, you've got tunes (or news or political blather), you can make it through the traffic.

I know I will have to learn how to drive above 5 miles an hour (my first successful outing, my sister and Melissa beat us home) and will need a car. I will get a VW. They're the best when it comes to gas, and I don't need a lot of space.

However, I want to put that off as long as possible.

I love the countryside, anywhere but Nebraska, really, but it's only accessible by car. That sucks.

I hope to live in cities until I mature - cities with public transportation when I feel bad, cities with good biking accomadations for when I do.

Right now, the bike is inside. Someone tried to break into our house about a year ago, and since then, my tires won't stay inflated. A free over-night stay at BikesPlus showed nothing wrong with the tires, so I should air it every week and keep it locked up, and the backyard or shed is a pain, but the study is not. It's possible that the assholes that stole my bike (and my cousin's) one day during the summer get their kicks by deflating them. Who knows?

The bikes were in someone else's yard, a family with a clean repuation, and I was so pissed I thought it was them, but then found out it was the neighborhood teenage trouble makers, who were mad at Mom for chewing them out over something, and retaliated by taking the bikes we'd left under the (still weeping) willow one night. That was summer '04, before I got the new bike.

I love riding my bike. I like to ride it to the library, because I have to ride along 2 5 lane roads, and it's such a rush to pass them as they wait for the light to change. Sometimes I ride on the sidewalk, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I face traffic, sometimes I don't. (If I have to wait 5 minutes to cross the highway, I'm riding against traffic, dammit!)

You get the same thrill while walking, but biking is faster and it involves wheels.

Look, here's my theory about road rage and why fast food places do so well - we are promised open roads along the ocean, no traffic, no troubles when we buy a car.

But it's not reality.

The car gives you independence, but it takes it away. You are at the whims of the traffic gods. And while stuck in traffic, you can't read or write, all you can do is call people and listen to the radio.

If you're stuck in traffic on a bus, you can read. You can zone out. You can sleep. You can do almost anything, because while you don't control where you're going, you're not the one driving, so you have no responsibility except not being an asshole. (And not eating most of the time, but I totally ate skittles while on the bus in Vancouver.)

As for biking, well, you can skirt around the traffic, go on your merry way, pass the drivers at the stop light. (That's fun while walking as well.)

It's cheaper, better for the environment, and a great exercise. And I'm glad all the libraries I've seen in Shelby County have bike racks.

So I will ride my bike around Memphis this fall and keep it locked up. I will use the MATA bus system. I will use the trolleys. And when I have to leave MATA's area or biking range, I will get rides from friends and my sister.

There's even a carpool on Saturdays for volunteer work - how cool is that?

I ride my bike to the nearest grocery store all the time (er, I used to). When an old man saw me throw my bags in the basket, he said, "That's the way to fight gas prices!"