Rep. Steve Cohen

Steve Cohen is not my representative, sadly. He's not perfect, but he's better than who I do have.

I don't really care that he pointed out that the repeated lies - in many forms - that the government was taking over health care (I wish) was similar to what the Nazis did with propaganda. It's true. Maybe he did it cynically - in a better world, pundits would notice him because of his "uncivil" rhetoric and then go, yeah, he's telling the truth. Hey, maybe there's a reason he cares. I'd love to see if he went on the cable shows and said why health care reform matters, just to get it out there.

That won't happen, if it does he'll be shouted over.

It really really bothered me that the Daily Show jumped on it last week, but pointing out FOX's hypocrisy today kind of made up for it. Maybe he'll be on the show to explain it. More people will notice than if he was on some talking head program on some 24/7 news channel, because I think plenty of people are like me and can't stand "normal" news shows for more than a few minutes.

Also, I think the Daily Show covered just him last week is kind of a "we go after democrats too, democrats say things that aren't nice too, we're not biased, we're civil."

Anyway...

Health care reform is so important to Memphis. The city is very segregated still and poor, and white flight doesn't help. My god the mayor of the suburbs are immature, as we learned when school consolidation seemed close. When people think of the county, they think rich, white kids go to "good" schools, and poor, black kids go to "bad" schools in the city. That's nonsense, there are "bad" schools in the county, and "good" ones in the city - the same year the county schools made all As in standardized testing, my sister was offered a small scholarship because the high school she was from did not make all As. That high school is in the county.

But I ramble. The main reason health care reform has to happen and is so important to Memphis is our shameful high infant mortality rate. If people, not just pregnant women, but everyone had equal access to good health care, it would go down.

Health care reform is very important to me, as I contemplate joining the military for the health insurance*, and I choose to believe that it is important to Representative Cohen. A sign that he cares about his constituents.

*I'm not kidding. The military offers a guaranteed job, a guaranteed roof over your head, and guaranteed health insurance. All of my relatives who enlisted from my parents' generation on did not do so because they adore their country, but because the military offered an escape from rural poverty.

Yahtzee!

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I feel blue, this helped cheer me up.

Problem taken care of!

So switching from an Honors section to the regular class is hard work, but at least I'll get a higher grade than a C+. I better. For all that stress.

Anyways, it was so fast!

I called the registrar this morning to see if they remembered me, and they did, and told me to call the College of Arts and Sciences and gave me a name. I called and asked for that name and talked to that person. She didn't sound very happy and told me that it was kinda late for this thing. But I was respectful, and said that I knew, and that I had explained everything, extenuating circumstances, blah blah blah.

She said she'd call me up after the signature was on the paper and it was faxed over.

And then the worry. What if they decided not to sign it and I got a C+ in a class? Oh man, that would suck.

About an hour after I called them, she called me. While I was the phone, not jumping up and down because I didn't sleep but drifted for a couple hours, I got a phone call and message from the registrar's office telling me what this woman was telling me - I was out of the Honor's section and I could see the proof! A quick e-mail to my professor and now I shall wait for his reply.

As for my grades, I don't know when I'll see them. I did the SETEs, so I should see them early, and somebody at the Bursar's office told me I could sign a release to see them early without paying the rental prepayment, but when I got there, the answer was "huh? we never said that."

But I will know if the grade in science is over a C+ if my professor e-mails me back.


This morning, just before 5, the fire alarm went off. The second time this semester. The first time, the sun was still up, other places were open, so I went to another building.

This time I froze. After I was back in my overheated room (how do they that?), I tried to sleep, but couldn't really. I did hit on this brilliant idea. The lies you tell your children about Santa are ok (when you're found out - not before!), because they're make-believe. At the age we believe in Santa, make believe is the shiznit.

This was genius, I swear. I was like Stephen Colbert facing the camera, opening and closing his hand, saying "X(parenting award) please."

Speaking of the Colbert Report, a recent bit bugged me. I've never liked the Tek Jansen or whatever the animated thing is called, but that's not it. But there was a thing about atheist Christmas cards, and he read a mocked up atheist family letter. It bugged me, because dude, most atheists/agnostics(me) don't spend our time thinking about how we don't believe in a god or gods. We think about school or work or LIFE IN GENERAL.

And then this thing on the Daily Show REALLY pissed me off. A Planned Parenthood is offering giftcards, and naturally, they're only for abortions, because that's ALL PP does. They don't do pelvic exams, or prescribe BC, or do pap smears, or a thousand other reproductive issues that women have to deal with. Really pissed me off. A sour note.

Of course, Monday's bit on Canada's crisis was awesome, with Sam Bee as Canada, dependent on Britain (John Oliver), and India (Aasif Mandvi) telling her to rebel. It was hilarious.

And last night, Stephen had a Nixmas tree, because Nixon is totally Santa! Both have a list of who's naughty and nice and have little helpers and break into places... ohmigod, to die for funny.

"Operation Deserter Storm"

Combines Iceland and the Daily Show, which is totally awesome. And made me laugh my ass off.

And now, here are the videos! (Oh, and Jason Jones. Not as hot as John Oliver, but still fine. Did you see him as a greaser last night?)

I know it's a bit late, but it's still hilarious.

I saw this in the school paper today.

They had a shot of Obama on the Daily Show accompanying it. (BTW - I saw a bit of last night's rerun - still hilarious.)

"Clinton Mocks Obama on Experience"

I'm sure she has a point about his experience in the Senate, compared to hers, blah blah blah.

But what made me say, "Bullshit! I must write about this! The masses must know my opinion!" was what she was mocking.

His childhood overseas.

He was there at the age of 10, so he has me beat by 4 years. *humph*

I think he is right - a childhood, part of childhood, spent overseas does give you a different view of the world than your classmates who've never left Tennessee.

This is based on my experience. Even though I left Iceland at 6 and a half, I'd already gone to school there.

And that makes me look at the world differently, I can't pinpoint how - exposure to other cultures in their land - I'm the visitor? It makes you more open-minded, the earlier the better.

So it is a good thing for Obama, in my opinion.

I may not get LOGO,

but I do get Comedy Central.

So I did not get to see the Democratic candidates on LOGO, only the Daily Show's coverage, which I saw this morning at 9 because I went to bed at 10:15 last night.

And what they covered bothered me.

Only 2 candidates said they support gay marriage.

The rest were just stupid, because, like Jon said, they had to tell the gay voters they supported them while not acting like they really supported them for the other voters.

Dammit.

That's not right - normally, a strong position on an issue will kill any candidate's national campaign - they can't really be for or against anything.

But they can with gay marriage - only against.

Republicans can say they hate gays and get elected, and democrats can't say the opposite or even that they deserve the same rights as heterosexuals and come close to winning.

Let me go watch the Colbert Report and be glad I chose to be straight.

I can't get over the snow.

I'm referring to the tragedy at Virginia Tech today - 33 dead at last count. The worst part? There were two shootings - two hours apart, and the campus police did nothing.

I hate TV news, local and national. But I watched the BBC World News on PBS at 5 for no real reason. (The accents?)

They had the best coverage - there are no background checks in Virginia? Since Columbine, the gun laws have been weakened in this country?

How does that make sense?

I had every channel on mute - they didn't cut into the insipid Inside Edition, but they cut into Jeopardy, and I was totally winning.

I didn't want to hear it, I prefer my news in a written format, when most of the facts are out - as it happens leaves you all messed up and confused.

So I had it on mute and some channels split the screen, so you had the talking head and footage from the school. In one, there were little light snowflakes, innocent and pure.

On top of a massacre.

I can't get over the snow.

Jon Stewart was great - he said he couldn't add anything insightful to the tragedy and he's going to bury the tragedy deep inside and freak out in 30 years over spilled juice, then went on to the e-mail thing.

Colbert hasn't said anything.

Oh, and I feel like shit. I finally got a new pain medication and it hasn't kicked in yet and the heating pad hasn't worked since 9 something this morning. Grr.

Kurt Vonnegut is Dead

And I have nothing to say, no quote comes to mind but "So it goes..." (Thanks to the evil Pandas.)

I should have read the paper today. I know Jon Stewart will mention his death tonight. He has to.

And I'm reading Cat's Cradle next.

The 'n-word' is not Narnia.

It's not?

What on earth could it be?

Colbert's right, it's 'Norbit', but he hasn't seen it yet, so he first thought of Narnia. "It's just a word, Jon!"

Stephen Colbert RULES.

Did you see last night's episode?

First, Oshawa, Ontario declared March 20th (the mayor's birthday) Stephen Colbert day because Stephen's Saginaw Spirit won - no thanks to Stephen Cobeagle, I'm sure.

I love his enthusiasm for his Saginaw Spirit.

How can you not?

But the best part, besides the Word, which always rules, was the culmination of his bitter fight with Wille Nelson.

As you know (or should know), Ben & Jerry puts out celebrity ice cream. This year, they released Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream ice cream. He was so happy to be the only celebrity chosen this year, what an honor, etc.

But no, the hippies who control the ice cream world decided to make two. (They probably make two each year, I've never eaten Ben & Jerry ice cream, but I saw a Mad parody of their celebrity pints.)

The other celebrity? Willie Nelson.

He came on the show last night and Stephen was so angry he needed a mediator, some guy from the '90s who helped end the Bosnian Civil War (why do I remember that, but not his damn name? grr), to work this out.

"Which one of us is worse than Milosevic?" Stephen!

"All diplomats carry their own spoons." Sage words.

To put an end to this horrible fight, they had to try each other's ice cream (Willie's is Peach Cobbler mixed with shredded tax papers and hash). Willie took a bite of Stephen's and said it was good, and Stephen gracefully accepted his apology.

When we came back, Willie was singing "On the Road Again". Then Stephen came out, along with white-diplomat-guy-from-the-90s (ARGH!) to sing with him.

It was so damn awesome.

It reminded me of the last episode of 2006 - when he was fighting another musician(s). The Decemberists' Green Screen Challenge was a direct copy of his, I think (I watched sporadically until December, so I missed most of that fight). So they challenged him to play guitar, and he naturally accepted. Because he rocks.

But oh no, the night of the challenge, he cuts his hands! Right before playing!

So he had Peter Frampton sub for him.

And Henry Kissinger, via satellite, was one of the judges.

Kissinger!

How does he get such great guests?

And is it true people take him seriously? (He's on Comedy Central, for pete's sake!)

And yeah, the Daily Show was awesome, I disagreed with the guest a thousand percent, but John Bolton? Former ambassador to the UN? On the Daily Show?

I love the guests they get. I saw Kurt Vonnegut on the Daily Show thanks to youtube, and I saw Gloria Steinem and Jane Fonda on the Colbert Report the same way. (They got to kiss him! He made feminists talk about feminism while wearing aprons and standing in front of a rolling counter - apple pie, I think they were making. But they kissed him!)

Which brings me to what sucks the suck out of life right now, youtube.

I started watching X-files music videos on youtube and quickly got hooked. It takes a long time to load, but unlike other video players, it actually loaded for me. (My favorite X-files videos - Monster Mash and Stuck in the Middle With You)

Then I discovered '80s videos were on there. And then I found Daily Show and Colbert Report clips. Luckily, I got to watch many of these on a high speed connection.

But since they got bought by google, more and more videos have been pulled. I know there are Daily Show and Colbert videos on Comedy Central's site, but they don't work for me. Literally. Will not load. And they pulled the 'You Sexy Thing' video of Stephen Colbert! (I got to see that on a high speed connection as well.)

And I have no idea where to find Dexy's Midnight Runners anymore.

But my favorites were Prince (I watched Kiss too many times - not there's such a thing as too much Prince) and they got pulled before the google purchase. At least I got to see them.

There are two Daily Show clips I love. Steve Corddry reporting on something terrible in the Middle East with a huge smile on his face before breaking down and cheering - the Red Sox won! The other is a bit more recent, it involves one of the new guys, John Oliver. (Very cute, especially with the accent.) It's about his immigration struggle, it was so damn funny.

They need to put out more DVDs. And MTV2 (which plays videos, or used to play older videos) should come standard with our cable. We have three ESPNs, but only one MTV and VH1?

I LOVE the Daily Show

You know something's funny when you laugh when no one's listening.

Tonight, in the first segment, Rob Riggle was the war correspondent who supported the President.

"What's unclear about 'no doubt'? Well, maybe the silent 'b'..."

And his description of getting hit was so gruesomely HILARIOUS, I hope you got to see it.

Let's see what I remember, ten minutes later.

"Brooklyn was to the left of me, Lefty on my right. We were drawing straws to see who would wear the Kevlar vest when we got hit."

"Oh my God, was it an IED...?"

"No, insurgents had planted a copy of the New York Times in the glovebox. Lefty got 800 words of Maureen Dowd between the eyes. The poor kid never even got to see the Style section."

I was hitting the floor, laughing so hard, and no one was awake.

I'm going to check out this On Call in Hell by Richard Jadick when I get a chance. (He's a urologist. I hate my first urologist. He told me people live with pain, so shut up, right after he'd put a stent in my right kidney the wrong way - it fell out 2 days later, along with all the urine that had blocked my right kidney, fun, fun, fun!)

And then I've got the Colbert Report to laugh my ass off...

Why are these shows only 30 minutes long? Why are they only on 4 nights a week?

Why is there only one DVD? (Indecision 2004, supplemented by this awesome YouTube clip.)

And why can't I marry both Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert?

There some legal reason I don't know about here.

*checks mail* Ah, restraining orders. That would explain it.

The Colbert Report consistently cracks me up, and I love how much he loves the Stephen Cobeagle the Eagle mascot, how much he loves the Saginaw Spirit, and how much he cares for the eagle named after him.


Okay, I wasn't completely alone, the dogs were ignoring me, barking to be let out of Mom's room, and barking to get in the house. The humans, however, were asleep. And I'm still laughing my ass off.



Update - I'll settle for the guy who runs Make magazine, he was the guest on the Colbert Report tonight, and they ended up shooting marshmallows at each other. And I'm positive Colbert won the lottery, he bought ten tickets, what a shocking idea, why didn't I think of that? Since he's now obscenely rich, Crime Scene Investigation will now be Colbert Scene Investigation. I'd watch all 3 if that was the case.

Speaking of CSI, they've had Kevin Federline guest star, but not Stewart or Colbert. Something is gravely wrong here...