Dorm Life

This is my 7th semester living in the same dorm. I've been on the 3rd floor for two years, the 9th for one (and I would have been on it this year if not for health problems) and now I'm on the 2nd.

The dorm has 10 floors and the 1st is not residential.

Each floor has had its pluses - it's much quieter on the 9th, but when the elevator conks out or the fire alarm goes off, wow that's a lot of stairs.

And now I have a room near the elevator, so much noise outside my door and above my head as somebody walks their elephant nightly.

My first year I was on the Honors floor and we had earlier quiet hours, and I would turn on my TV and then stand in the hall to make sure it wasn't loud. I'm a bit... weird. I've had a number of roommates, and I'm the only one who watches TV with headphones on. I can't listen comfortably with another TV going.

Anyway, a lot of people say that rules in dorms treat college students like children. I say they make you act like you care about other people. The biggest is visiting hours - at least you can't sexile your roommate all night, I get to come back at midnight or 2am. My sister thinks living in an apartment will be quieter - HA!

This morning was the first fire alarm of the semester. It went off at 4am. We stood outside for more than 30 minutes. It was less than 30 degrees outside, and few people were dressed for it, because your main thought when that damn thing starts blaring is to get out as soon as possible.

My biggest dorm issues stem from noise - the pipes (I think) make this shhh noise, you can't hear anything over it, but there is one plus side to it. At home, when I hear a noise upstairs, there's no one up there, so I get scared. Mostly because my mom picks on me. But here? There are supposed to be people in the hall and upstairs and out my window.

My roommate this semester is awesome - she gets overheated too, so she didn't mind having the window open until we got the heat turned off. Well not "turned off" - it's 68 right now, but it's not 80 and the air isn't all heated and nasty. We may have to get it turned back on when it's AC time, though. And the people in charge - maintenance, desk workers, RAs, grown-ups working in Residence Life - all tell me to stand on the toilet, move a ceiling tile, and "there's a switch up there!" No. Just... No.

Some rambling, but gripes about rules always bother me - there's a reason, you're not the only person in the building, so shut up, it's 1am on a school night!

I'm fat.

And I recently gained a lot of weight like super fast - not oh, 10 pounds snuck up on me - but 30-40 came in a few weeks, complete with raised stretch marks.

I am on at least 3 medications that cause weight gain - one of them is my birth control and since periods are murder, no. Another is new and it has given me control over my moods, well as much control as humans can have. My extreme moods have reasons behind them. Being thinner < being happy.

I still remember when this happened in 10th grade. I think it was in Math (2nd period) and I looked at a thin girl older than me and I realized that my weight had nothing to do with 99% of my life. My grades, my social life, my relationship with my family (that makes me quite lucky, I've learned)... none of this would change if I lost weight. They might even get worse, as I chase friends away by counting things, and focusing on my diet instead of homework. Or getting sick (dizzy, light headed) from not enough food makes doing homework hard as well. (As I noticed over the last 2 semesters with the medication.)

A "normal" weight would not make me a better person.

Someone who doesn't know me could say that I'm not a social person because of my weight, but that's BS. I know fat kids and teenagers and adults have friends and boy/girlfriends. I remember being at a friend's birthday party before my weight went up (puberty and thyroid) and I was bored silly. I've always preferred books, and now the internet.

Anyways -

I am in love with the new ABCFamily show "Huge," starring Nikky Blonsky. It's about a fat camp, but the actors can't lose weight in a predictable manner over the show (especially since some are teenagers not done with puberty yet!) which is good. The show made me tear up by the second episode. It's sweet and funny.

And even though the premise is all about weight, when most of the characters we see (minus the trainers and the woman in charge) are fat, they become more than punch lines or sassy friends of skinny women.

The main trainer is horrid, which is the point. One kid needed to catch his breath on the camp's first run/walk thing and she says no and makes him do 25 jumping jacks. He said "I can't." But if he could breathe, he would have said, "I need to rest now, I can't breathe." I assume.

But they also discuss the importance of stretching later on - so they do mean it when they talk about health, at least in some ways.

It's also so realistic - there are so many different ways people are fat and we see this here.

And the second episode broke a stereotype on national teevee - a fat kid who is obsessed with basketball and is good at it and all that jazz.

I'm looking forward to the next episode.

I first heard about it on Jezebel, when they posted clips from the pilot and reviewed it. They also did one for the second episode, but there were less comments this time.

Another reviewer is Iced Tea and Lemon Cake. First episode, second episode. She talks a lot about the fat issues in the show, especially gym in the 2nd episode, which was a big part of that episode.

The best reviews I've seen, hands down, are at Fatshionista. First, second.

Just like women supposedly say "I'm a character from Sex and the City," I'm going to say I'm Becca, the black girl who's always reading. I also think I'm a bit like Will (her goal is to gain weight there), but I don't like having people mad at me if it's not worth it, so I wouldn't do an OTT strip-tease within the first hours of the camp.

It repeats a lot on ABCFamily, it's at their website, and on Hulu. And probably *cough* other websites for people outside America...

A little thought from a paper I never had to write.

See, I had to write this paper.

Only the pain was so bad I could barely think. And when it wasn't bad, I was sleepy or foggy. I was able to take my final - multiple choice - but not do the paper, which required abstract thinking. Normally, I can BS my way through something, but I couldn't even do that.

Luckily, I got above an 80 in the class without the paper, so I didn't have to do it. (It was my honor's course and to count as Honors, I had to get a B in the class. Honors classes count as my volunteer hours, and well, I can't do 75 hours before June 1st. I just can't do anything.)

Before that, I picked a topic (the Swiss minaret ban) and wrote out some topics while in class. (His powerpoints were always thorough and most of the test questions came straight from there, so I'd copy the powerpoint and then read. Or in this case, work on topics.)

The minaret ban in Switzerland is ridiculous and won't have much effect anyway, I think they had a rule about height in place. And the country only had 4. The imagery pissed a lot of people off - using minarets as guns piercing the Swiss flag, while a woman covered so only her eyes showed looked at you. Except that most of the Muslims in Switzerland are from Eastern Europe and don't wear the niqab or burka.

I also thought of the hijab ban in France and how assimilation is touted as the best way to be an immigrant - by not acting like one at all, forgetting your heritage. Here in the US, we screamed that forever, and now we wonder why the kids (always the kids) don't know about their heritage, oh boo hoo.

But I think that wearing a hijab and going to school or university or working or doing "French" things is a sign of good assimilation - look at me, I'm combining the old and new, a Muslimah can wear her hijab and still be French! Banning it is ridiculous.

Two fictional examples - Rayyan in the Canadian TV show Little Mosque on the Prairie wears the hijab. She's a doctor, she went to medical school. As it's a small town, she treats men and women. Very "Canadian," even with cloth on her head.

I just watched Kurbaan, and ugh, if you're Muslim, AVOID YAAR!!! Except for two women in the movie, they all wear hijabs and big dresses, very conservative. And basically say you can't wear the hijab and be a good Muslimah and work outside the home.

Contrast that with My Name is Khan - Rizvan's sister-in-law wears the hijab, works outside the home, and is more liberal than her husband (she attends Rizvan's wedding to a Hindu).

MNIK and LMOTP are more realistic - you don't have to abandon everything to become a "true" American or Canadian... or French.

Another letter to the school paper!

Speaking about money issues, this school does not go out of its way to be accessible to students with disabilities.

The elevator in Dunn is still broken, the 3rd floor is still inaccessible, and Dunn has some very steep, vertigo-inducing stairs.

Today, I was in Jones, luckily only on the first floor. Because their ONE elevator is broken as well. They say it may be fixed by next week, but it shouldn't be broken with no alternatives.

Too many buildings on campus have just one old elevator. The dorms aren't much better - in Richardson, one is constantly broken and there have been times when both are broken.

Last week, I was in the brand new waste of money called the UC, and the big glass elevators in the center were, you guessed it, broken. There are others in the UC, making it an exception. Too bad we don't have class there.

One thing we must do in addition to fixing the elevators in Dunn and Jones is adding a second one. Do you know what it's like to feel stranded because the elevator is broken and you're in too much pain to walk down 3 dizzy flights of stairs?

Also, the school does not help those with mobility issues who do not need a wheelchair. Sometimes, I cannot walk because of my pain. But if it's before 6pm and I need to get to class, I'm SOL.

Finally, people who park in front of the curb cuts are not disciplined enough, because they keep doing it. They are so important they can just impede a person's progress because they couldn't be bothered to find a legal parking spot?

This school's priorities disgust me sometimes.

Dunn's second floor is accessible through the building next door, but it doesn't really help me when I'm trying to conserve energy and move as little as possible, because I have to walk the length of the psych building twice.

I'll let you know if there's a response.

There's been some recent back and forth - a student wrote in decrying the waste of money that is the UC (and more proposed renovations - but only for dining stuff, because it's from Aramark so the money can't be used in a sensible way) and the lack of books in the campus library. An official wrote back (in the paper) saying, Aramark blah blah we do our best go Tigers. Another student's letter was published today saying, essentially, So? We don't pay our professors well, we don't use our money wisely.

I wonder if mine will be published.

ETA: I got a call on my (now MIA) phone today. The letter won't be published.

Because they're doing an article on the subject. Parts of my letter will be used in the article, along with the short phone conversation.

Exciting!

ETA2: Paper's out. The letter is printed. But someone did call me, and my phone number isn't on my FB or anything, it was with the letter form. Maybe they didn't have room, who knows?

Some culture

I have to give a presentation tomorrow on something related to 18th century France. Last time it was 17th century France and I did architecture and discovered I loved making powerpoints. I wish I could go back to all the classes I've had where I could have used a powerpoint and make them! So much fun. I am easily amused.

Anyways, I'm doing it on a rococo style painter, Élisabeth-Louise Vigée-Le Brun. Yes, she was a female painter. She painted men as well as women for portraits, and did a few of Marie Antoinette.

But my favorite painting is this one:

It's a painting of an actress called Giuseppina Grassini. I just love this painting.

Another piece of art I fell in love with this weekend while studying is the Minoan Snake Goddess.

I am going to try to get a color copy of the painting and maybe a reproduction of the snake goddess? The school only prints in black and white and rococo is about pastels, soft colors, so some of the beauty would be lost in translation.

Another aggravating school thing.

Though it doesn't make me angry because it's not shaming anyone.


Another fail that really grates (and I've never even taken a stats class!) are announcements and posters and boxes in the school paper about a survey, which shows that most Tigers don't drink to excess or smoke pot, basically that we are good kids and value our education and bodies. Except they put the number up on the signs saying "80 odd percent don't binge drink" and it's not even 1000 people. Our undergrad student body, according to wiki, is around 15,000 people. Grad students? 5,000. A tenth would be around 2000 people, and they didn't even get 900! And it would have been very easy to widen the net - we all have school e-mails and there are campus wide e-mails on a regular basis. Not everyone would respond, but it would probably be more than 800 odd students! Or maybe they truly got a random sample and didn't even need 1000 students. I guess it would take time to calculate all the answers. Perhaps they need money to do a yearly survey of students' alcohol and drug habits.

And we're broke.

"Long meals make (for) short lives."

I'm not sure on the exact wording, but I know it included "long meals" and "short lives". I don't remember if it was "Long meals make short lives" or "Long meals make for short lives."

Both on google turn up cookbooks and stuff on hair.

No picture. Hmm, I could take my laptop and lift the offending napkin holder up to its computer, but the place where I saw it is closed today and they may have removed it.

Basically, they used to insert ads for stuff on campus, especially food, on the sides of a the napkin holders. But now it's all "healthy" BS - stop eating you fattie, get healthy.

The quote is attributed to nobody but "a proverb." No sources!

Anyways, even if I could find said "proverb," I'd still be mad at the fat-shaming and food policing.

But what gets me - and makes me write a blog post about it - is that it makes no damn sense at all, outside of guilting fat students, thin ones, "average ones", and makes us really think about our food.

I like food because it tastes good and fills me up, and sometimes when I eat within 30 minutes of a pain pill, it helps the medication work better. The food also keeps me alive, as it does for everyone. Certain foods don't, depending on allergies or whatever, but we need food for living. Even zombies eat!

Anyway, here are the problems with the "proverb" -

No country or time given, so I assume it was a diet guru who said it.

When  proverbs were written or said, most people did not have access to excess food. It's only recently in human history that all classes can eat to gluttony. (While the relatively rich people of the world starve themselves.) And it's not even true across the world, or the country, or my state, my county, my city - I'm sorry, people have "food insecurity."

And mealtimes have long been considered important for socialization - and not just with the nuclear family. It's a way to schmooze, get free food (as a guest), get to know people, make business/political connections (even back in Roman/Greek times). Mealtimes are important.

"Long" meals are important as well. When my family (after the divorce, when he was still there it was compulsory. If he showed up, we'd all scramble to make it look like we never left the table.) eats at the table, be it at home or at a restaurant, we take longer than when mom makes a pot of delicious mac and cheese and we come and go as we please. We talk about things. That is considered a good thing, especially as your children get older. It's a way to connect and be a family. Of course, it's not the only way, but it's a good routine way, and I think calling it bad is just wrong. And then there's dinner with friends or extended family, the plates are empty, but who cares, we're busy yakking.

Another thing that makes a meal "long" is taking your time, which is often encouraged for a number of reasons, but I'm sure it's been encouraged as a way to lose weight, because everything you do either makes you gain weight and become a bad person or makes you lose weight and become a good one.

The so-called proverb makes no damn sense if you think about it, which I believe we're supposed to do. FAIL

ETA - do check out The Fat Nutritionist website.

ETA2 - I saw it again, and I was totally wrong. "To lengthen your life, shorten your meals." Google turned up nothing, with "to lengthen your life" - except 7 foods to lengthen your life.

ETA3 - looking it up with the quotation marks turned it up, but no source besides "proverb." The first result - not linking to such a hate-filled site, is called
"Weight loss with your food addiction" And it's under "diet" quotes and proverbs, but no damn source, country, or time.

So I was wrong about the quote, they did find it somewhere, but the analysis still stands. It's bullshit.

A little pain anecdote

It's only painful for you because my writing is so bad.

So last week, I did a lot of work to make sure I'd be comfortable while watching Chandni Chowk to China. I know, all the work for an Akshay Kumar action movie that was panned? (Well, I enjoyed it.) I had to show gori Bollywood support.

The undoubtedly busy and overworked SAC (student activities council, I think) offered to bring in a different chair when the movie would be screened in a meeting room with uncomfortable looking chairs (it was locked, so all I saw were straight backed misery makers), and to take PICTURES of said chairs and e-mail them to me, to make sure they were okay. The movie was moved to a theater, but they still sent pictures.

The movie was at 7 and Tiger Patrol starts at 6pm. Tiger Patrol is for safety - they run from 6pm until 2am. I wish they were 24/7 or 24/5, but I'm sure it has to do with money. You can walk with someone (safety in numbers, I guess) or ride on a golf cart. The previous times I've used Tiger Patrol, I've always ridden in a cart. So I called them after 6, asking if I could be guaranteed a golf cart, because it hurt too much to walk.

"If it hurts, shouldn't you call an ambulance?"

Sigh.

"It's chronic, blah blah blah."

So I rode in a golf cart.


Also, always timely, I was thinking about those full body scanners at airports as part of security theater. They just see through your clothes, not through your body, and no one's stuffed stuff up orifices. Once the butt plug bomber tries (and fails), they'll add in full-on X-rays. Something embarrassing? It can't see through fat folds, so I could stick a plastic knife in my bra and it would be hidden under my boobs.

On a personal level, I don't care, I will fly naked, just let me read my book and listen to my music. I really love flying - it's so much fun once you're up there. (I want to visit a nudist colony or resort.)

On a more rational holy shit what is wrong with this country, I oppose them and will go through the longer metal detector line.

Why don't I give a damn?

Because when I was 15, I had a hideous skin infection on my butt. MY BUTT. And my dermatologist was an old man. And if I wore clothes below the waist, they were ruined. And there were some doubters (dad and/or his mom) who had to see. "Come see the living infection!" Too bad mom didn't charge them for a peek. I was also on heavy painkillers so I didn't care.

The first time I was on painkillers was post thyroid removal. So this was the first time I was on them for more than a week or so and I wasn't used to them like I am now, which involves changing meds and increasing dosages and worries about addiction until holy shit it hurts I am going to rip the lamp from the wall - I don't know why lately that has been my desire when the pain grabs my by the stomach and won't let go, I wrap my fingers around the edge. I mean, I get holding onto my head or rubbing my eyebrows so much they hurt later, well not really, but sometimes the pain makes me all Hulk-y.

Anyway, I'm pretty blase about people seeing my body. To my sister's chagrin. I have shorts that are just longer than underwear that I never wear anywhere and only wear when I'm hot (oh that narrows it down) but does she want me sitting around in just my panties? And why are panties so much more scandalous than a bathing suit bottom? Eh, I tried swimming in the hotel pool this summer and realized I couldn't because I still use my fingers to plug my nose and there's a piercing in the way. Oh well, less chances to turn into a lobster.

Sunburn! Tore my back up but good in June 04. The first real day of vay-cay, we're at the beach, settled into the condo, I'm playing and having so much fun until little Miss Kill Joy shrieks at me, "Kaitlyn you're so RED!" Suddenly, PAIN!!!! Salt water, sand help help help. So I spent most of the days with no top on and later with no bra on under a big loose shirt.

Just no shame, whatsoever.

Oh, after spring break, I talked to a girl whose hand was burnt, but only on the top and it stopped below her wrist in a sharp line. When I asked how that happened, she said she forgot to put sunscreen on it. Needless to say, I put sunscreen on, but never enough and never often enough so the first day of any swimming/outdoors summer thing ends with me burnt to a crisp. The next day, if it's not too bad, I can swim with a t-shirt on, like I did at camp. Ooh, sunburn while camping - fun. Actually, the sleeping bags made of nylon (smooth, like a windbreaker or something) rather than warm cloth ones actually felt nice. I remember lying with nothing on my back (in the tent of course!) with my back against the sleeping bag. It helped some, but waking up in a ball in the corner never did. (I'd fall asleep on the air mattress but rarely wake up there.)

The Daily Helmsman pissed me off today.

I can't find the article on their website.

The article is basically fine - trying to start a "safe space" for GLBTQ students on campus.

Apparently, when students "expressed discomfort in class at the discrimination, they were sent to psychological services."

That is a terrible thing - homosexuality was removed from the DSM, remember? It's bad thing because queer kids aren't getting what they need, not because psych services are necessarily bad.

But the following quote was the one above the fold in big bold letters, so that's what I saw when I grabbed the paper.

"Going to the psychology building to say you're gay is like going to say you're crazy."

I'm e-mailing the paper and thinking of looking up the quoted student (a freshman, so she doesn't know any better) but damn, Talk about an insult. (I won't contact her.)

Here's the letter I'm sending:

The article in Friday's paper was hurtful and offensive. It is wrong to send GLBTQ students to psychological services, not because needing psychological services is something to be ashamed of, but because it is outdated thinking on the part of the school, and does not help our GLBTQ students at all.

However, I grabbed the paper today and staring me in the face was the pull quote.

"Going to the psychology building to say you're gay is like going to say you're crazy."

I go the psychology building. I get therapy there. There is nothing wrong with being crazy. The ablist tones in the article were disgusting.

There is no safe space or student group for students who are neuroatypical, who suffer from depression.

I support gay rights in any way I can, but I can't be quiet when I'm insulted. I am crazy, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Oh - their website - The Daily Helmsman

ETA - article is finally up - Students seek LGBT safe zone

And I got an e-mail response to my letter. My concerns are "invalid" and they didn't mean to insult people with mental health problems, so it won't be published.

Well, school started on the 14th.

I've had to drop one class because of health issues, which is never fun.

But we got a snow day today! It was so funny - the e-mails went out at 9 last night, and there wasn't snow on the ground yet. In fact, the e-mails said it was because of the 'warnings' that they were closing school. No snow on the ground at 8, but by 10:30 there was!

And in happy news, Scott Roeder, terrorist, was convicted of first degree murder for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. He shot the man in his church over the summer. Dr. Tiller was one of the few doctors out there providing so-called "late-term abortions." And before you go ew!, read the stories from his patients - these abortions were done to save lives, these were wanted children, and this was a lot of work. He was a good man. (I'm sorry, I can't find the link right now. They were heartbreaking.)

Scott Roeder is a horrible man and a terrorist. Never forget that.

Also -



see more Political Pictures

Schooled by Anisha Lakhani

Schooled is shaping up to be a good, funny book. (The parts about Lifetime movies had me laughing and annoying my mom by reading them to her.)

The main character is a first year teacher, fresh out of Columbia, at an exclusive private school. I've only made it to the orientation week, before she meets the students.

Right now, she has to read the student's files.

One child has a peanut allergy, "acute, life-threatening peanut allergies. You are responsible if so much as a peanut, or anything in the vicinity of a peanut, enters the classroom. He could die."

Also in the file is the fact that his father had an affair, his family is rich, etc etc.

On the next page, the main character mentally describes the future student as "an overindulged child who would probably think nothing of the sacrifice I would have to make in giving up my peanut M&Ms addiction lest I so much as breathe on him."

I can't get over this sentence. I can't tell if the writer wants us to go what the fuck is wrong with this woman or agree with her, because it's so hard to not eat candy during the school day.

It just really rubs me the wrong way. The kid is undeniably "overindulged," but it has nothing to do with his allergy. And the fact that the writer used to be a teacher...

Of course, this is like complaining because the serial killer on the TV kicked a puppy. I can accept the greater "bad" premise, but little things feel wrong.

Or maybe it's a sign of the character's immaturity?

I mean, what the fuck? It's so hard to make sure one of your students doesn't die.

School wrap-up and nonsense

Reading accounts at FWD makes me think about how lucky I have been when it comes to the intersection of school and health, especially this semester.

One *dropped* a paper, I didn't have to write a 12 page research paper that I'd been dreading all semester. She also extended the due dates for everything, but I banged out some kind of relevant nonsense a few days before and turned it in early. (And got a B+ which mean it counts as my honors credit for the semester and "junior honors experience" Whew.) She also took an hour out of her day to talk me through my confusion.

The professor with the least leeway just extended my due dates. Yup, the history professor. Hmm. (B+ as well! w00t!)

My art 1030 (intro to art something - no drawing! w00t!) professor was so nice. Even though we're not supposed to (in the syllabus), I was able to make up the quiz I missed and save my grade (an A something). He also said I could make up any future quizzes over the next two weeks and for whatever reason, I could take the final early.

My French professor dropped all quizzes and homework I missed over the last 3 weeks and said just do the final - B something in that quiz. (That's my major.)

My Arabic professor - well, if snow disproves global warming, then his behavior disproves all bad "Muslim" stereotypes /silly sarcasm attempt. I went to class, choked on the heat, and asked him when I could meet with him and said I wouldn't be in class because of the heat. He offered to meet with me *outside*! And it was around 40! I'm still so touched by that. And yes, we went over the chapters I missed, and I eventually just took the test I missed as an exam - or that was the goal before pain attacked and I couldn't. Right now, I've got an A-, but I don't mind if it changes.

And that's just this semester! I have had so many professors and teachers help me and it makes me cry when people are so nice.

I have also run into teachers and administrators who did not help me - high school senior year, I come back after a surgery to get make-up work. I decide to make sure everything's in order with the administrators.

The principal wants to talk to me - if I miss another day or check out early, I won't graduate. Also, "You don't deserve that A, you only deserve that F." The A was in psychology, he let me do work at home. The F was in a joke class, and I was well past the allowed absences so eff me, right? It wasn't all bad - instead of fighting them, we went straight to the doctor and got him to write an order for me to go homebound, and we requested the best homebound teacher ever - and even though she couldn't give me a steady schedule, she still worked with me. And I graduated in the top 20 of my class. So even the bad people can lead you to good ones.

Also, *all* my professors have been nice - I don't get docked for missing classes. (I still suffered because class is important, but at least I didn't have the added stress of being there or being square.)

And I get away with murder and did in high school. No water allowed, pssh. Be in class on time? I'm supposed to go to the nurse's office. Next!

College rules I break? Well, it depends on the syllabus/professor. But there is the desktop fan, which can be noisy in a tiny room when I'm in the front row. There are also cell phones. I have played many games of phone tag with doctors and hate it, so if I'm waiting on them, I keep my phone out and on vibrate. And when it goes off, I bolt out of the room, breaking another rule.

But I don't enjoy it, because it's usually about Dr. Ego or insurance and bleh. It's not like I'm talking to my girlfriends!

Though I have texted my friend Elizabeth twice this year - the second time the text was in French! - asking her where she was, it's class time! So cell phones aren't all bad.

Of course, in high school, we had the 504 and I met with all 6 teachers at the beginning of the year. In college, I have to make an appointment with my case guy in the Disability Office during the first week, get 5 papers for my professors, and give them to my professors, explaining what's going on.

This November? Disability was no help! Because they were swamped as it was time to schedule final accommodations. And when I came back, it was even closer to finals! So I did most of the work myself, working so hard to type those e-mails. (Actually, it was hard at times, and I'd just send the same e-mail to all 5 profs.) But I had the paperwork to cover my butt in case anyone gave me a hard time.

Anyways, this was going to be a reply at FWD, but it got too long. And I realized that some of you out there in internet world (hello!) may care.

If you have snow, don't tell me. We're raking leaves and I took a walk yesterday in a tank top and shorts.

Spoon Theory and Me (It's all about me)

I've been reading about the Spoon Theory and kinda going, yeah, that doesn't apply to me. (Basically, we all have a number of spoons that represent what we can do that day. Healthy, temporarily able bodied people (age will get us all!! Run!!) have an unlimited amount. Those not so able-bodied do not.)

Thinking about the Spoon Theory and applying it to my life is scary because dammit, if I write down that it hurts, then it really happened and it just won't go away. If I don't classify it, it's not there. Denial is awesome unless WILL YOU STOP STABBING ME. See?

But I do use it, I realized today.

I had a terrible night, could not fall asleep or stay asleep. Went to my 8 am class (hello Arabic!) in pain, a bit disoriented, just not steady on my feet. It was worse when I got out of class about an hour later.

So I laid down, planning to rest until lunch and then go to my one o'clock class.

Ate lunch around noon, no problems, a bit of pain, whatever.

But as I walked out, I was like, hey, hey, HEY! It's not supposed to hurt to walk. And this class is relatively far away when it's raining or I'm in pain. And then there's the hour and 25 minutes of uncomfortable sitting, followed by a bolt across campus to my next class.

I just sat down and cried. I still am. I hate it.

But I'm in my room, comfortable (though still in pain) on my bed, and I will go to my 2:40 class and hopefully make it through that hour and 25 minutes in one piece. Last Thursday, maybe I should have done that, because I reached a point in the latter class where thought escaped me. (Especially putting thoughts into French words.)

Maybe I'm not thinking of it as little spoons, but I know that if I went to my one o'clock, I couldn't go to my French class. And we're watching a movie in there. And the other class is all online - podcasts of the lectures, powerpoints, everything. Except on Thursday, I have to be there because I'm giving a presentation that I have totally started on.

Totally.

Gotta go.

I hate loud noises.

Well, I like my loud music. If I know I'm not bothering anybody.

But sometimes my suitemates... (we share a bathroom, so when they yell, we hear it), they don't seem to care.

This Married to the Sea comic seems to sum up their attitude on every day but Friday. (I think they leave campus on Friday.)


marriedtothesea.com

It's not just them, there's just so many people shouting and screaming this week. Yes, spring break is next week, but this week isn't over yet, why won't you shut the fuck up?

It really doesn't help that I've felt rotten all week. Tuesday was my shittiest day in a long, long, long time. I had to leave French class. We were doing review work and the pain got so bad I got up, asked for the other review sheets, and told the professor I felt so bad I couldn't think. I really couldn't. It was scary.

Sign LOLcats are getting to you

(and that you'll never be mature, never)

Every time you take a French test or quiz and have to write your name, you think of this.

Because what's French for name?

NOM!

Not that it makes up for the existence of tests. Blargh.

Plus, the school post office won't make with the Netflix, and the status at the Netflix website for Sweeney Todd is "at home" when it most certainly is not! Plus, there's still one more day left in this week. With an essay test! In friggin history! Where you it's always been multiple choice/fill in the blank with maybe one or two essay Qs. Very nervous, and very glad I botched my speech in oral comm on Wednesday so I won't have to worry about that tomorrow as well!

Today is AWESOME!

Okay, first I watched 3 episodes of Golden Girls and an episode of What's With that House that I'd never seen before.

During all that braindeath, I got a text from my mom asking me if it was snowing here.

Normally, I don't go to the window and open the blinds, but this time I did.

AND OH MY GOD!

SO MUCH SNOW! IN THE AIR! ON THE GROUND!

AND ON OBAMA'S INAUGURATION DAY! It's a good sign!

Unfortunately, most of it has melted, and it's on and off flurries, but still. So magical.

I've never seen an inauguration, never cared about them. I imagine most of the students here are in the same boat. (Hell, most of voted for the first time in a presidential election this time around.)

My first class starts at 9:40 and the prof never showed. We waited until about 10, and then a guy put MSNBC's coverage up. Boring, people walking. Famous, presidential people, but just walking. So we all signed a sheet of a paper. I took it to his office in another building and then found out he'd been in a wreck. (He's okay, though.) So I was right, he was gone because of the snow, not the inauguration.

If it wasn't showing (and isn't) in your building, go to the next one!

I was in the library when Biden and Obama were sworn in, and I felt chills. The last time I watched news coverage with people was... september 11th. I knew I couldn't stay for the speech, because I figured I'd catch all of it later than a bit now before class.

One of my friends decided to watch the speech, and wasn't even going to go to class, but you know how awesome Obama is? She felt guilty, and she came in late. But she came to class!

So have some hot cocoa, stare in awe at the teevee, and be jealous of those you know who went. (This guy in my english class, so jealous! My friend's boyfriend lives in DC! etc)

Today's Bizarro made me SOL -

Snort out Loud. (Not as catchy, but it's the truth.)

The comic:




Pardon My Planet also made me snort out loud.



It would be lying to say this, but when I saw today's Lockhorns, I said to myself, "Dude! We talked about Cambrian in science! And I remember it! I'm a genius!"



One last thing - the song of the moment is "Teri Kurti Sexy" from the Bollywood movie Vaada. (No, I have not seen it.)

Since I asked to listen to Becky's music earlier (Britney's new album), I thought she wouldn't mind. But she does.

But you don't!

The rest of my grades are up!

It makes up for the lack of new Daily Show and unseen Good Eats.

But I'm watching a Christmas episode of Spongebob, right after a ripped-off It's A Wonderful Life iCarly plot.


The rest of my grades are up.

They're UNOFFICIAL, I must remember that, but still. I doubt they'll change.

Anthropology - A+ Yay! Expected, I had a 100 going into the final. Forgot or didn't remember that she was doing the plus/minus thing.

English - A+ Yay yay yay! I was unsure, I'm always unsure, the essays for my final sucked majorly. But A+? Yes!

Physical Geology - B+ but we knew that.

French - A! YES! I was so worried about that, I thought I'd get another B this semester. I checked my grades on a whim tonight and shouted something like "I got an A in French!" when I saw that, but it was so loud and high pitched, I don't know what I said.

History - still an A. That's one teacher who should have done the plus/minus. Or at least the plus, since I saw my grade the other week and it was a 100.

You know what this means? Unless my mom or dad wins the lottery, they're not taking away my money for another semester or so.

My science grade is up!

Well, the "unofficial grade" is up.

Because of a lot of blah blah, I probably won't see the official ones for a month.

So if I keep checking the unofficial grades before they become official, I can see my grades.

And I have a B plus in science! It all worked out! Oh thank god I am finally done good night.

And an A in History, but I knew that.

No one else has grades up.

Problem taken care of!

So switching from an Honors section to the regular class is hard work, but at least I'll get a higher grade than a C+. I better. For all that stress.

Anyways, it was so fast!

I called the registrar this morning to see if they remembered me, and they did, and told me to call the College of Arts and Sciences and gave me a name. I called and asked for that name and talked to that person. She didn't sound very happy and told me that it was kinda late for this thing. But I was respectful, and said that I knew, and that I had explained everything, extenuating circumstances, blah blah blah.

She said she'd call me up after the signature was on the paper and it was faxed over.

And then the worry. What if they decided not to sign it and I got a C+ in a class? Oh man, that would suck.

About an hour after I called them, she called me. While I was the phone, not jumping up and down because I didn't sleep but drifted for a couple hours, I got a phone call and message from the registrar's office telling me what this woman was telling me - I was out of the Honor's section and I could see the proof! A quick e-mail to my professor and now I shall wait for his reply.

As for my grades, I don't know when I'll see them. I did the SETEs, so I should see them early, and somebody at the Bursar's office told me I could sign a release to see them early without paying the rental prepayment, but when I got there, the answer was "huh? we never said that."

But I will know if the grade in science is over a C+ if my professor e-mails me back.


This morning, just before 5, the fire alarm went off. The second time this semester. The first time, the sun was still up, other places were open, so I went to another building.

This time I froze. After I was back in my overheated room (how do they that?), I tried to sleep, but couldn't really. I did hit on this brilliant idea. The lies you tell your children about Santa are ok (when you're found out - not before!), because they're make-believe. At the age we believe in Santa, make believe is the shiznit.

This was genius, I swear. I was like Stephen Colbert facing the camera, opening and closing his hand, saying "X(parenting award) please."

Speaking of the Colbert Report, a recent bit bugged me. I've never liked the Tek Jansen or whatever the animated thing is called, but that's not it. But there was a thing about atheist Christmas cards, and he read a mocked up atheist family letter. It bugged me, because dude, most atheists/agnostics(me) don't spend our time thinking about how we don't believe in a god or gods. We think about school or work or LIFE IN GENERAL.

And then this thing on the Daily Show REALLY pissed me off. A Planned Parenthood is offering giftcards, and naturally, they're only for abortions, because that's ALL PP does. They don't do pelvic exams, or prescribe BC, or do pap smears, or a thousand other reproductive issues that women have to deal with. Really pissed me off. A sour note.

Of course, Monday's bit on Canada's crisis was awesome, with Sam Bee as Canada, dependent on Britain (John Oliver), and India (Aasif Mandvi) telling her to rebel. It was hilarious.

And last night, Stephen had a Nixmas tree, because Nixon is totally Santa! Both have a list of who's naughty and nice and have little helpers and break into places... ohmigod, to die for funny.