Bad Commercial

There's a commercial out now about a mom with kids who play hockey.

She starts her day by taking 2 OTC Tylenol. Then she takes 2 again and again, following the directions.

The she sees an ad for Aleve, and the next day, just takes 2 in the morning! Huzzah!


If she has to take painkillers daily - even OTC - something is wrong. I don't think Aleve and Tyelonel are meant to be taken daily like Vitamin D or something. It just sends the wrong message - the OTC manages my pain, so it's not really a problem. (Plus, as a mom, she doesn't have TIME to go to the doctor. Despite the husband.)

Also, every body is different - some people may not react to Aleve. Others may get nothing from Tylenol.

But in Aleve commercials, only a sucker takes Tylenol, because you take 8 a day, hahahaha, you loser.

I hate commercials for medication, that's a given. Now I'm hating ads for OTC medications.

One more - a bunch of adults talking about being pain-free without pills. I perk up. A man is holding a white pill bottle. He tells us how it works - heated patches for your back. They're talking about minor muscle pain.

Sigh.

I'm especially dour because I increased my new medication to 3 times a day (it's supposed to be 2 times a day, but it still hurt a lot, a lot of "breakthrough" pain)... and my pain has shot up which makes no damn sense. I am sick of pain and summer and fireworks.

But summer means no classes and sleeping in and being with the puppies and getting Netflix when it's supposed to come and being as lazy as I want to be.

I just wish it was 50 degrees cooler.

Where were you on Christmas?

Despite playing softball and being unmarried at her age, Elana Kagan has made it to the Senate confirmation hearings!


I don't like Senator Lindsey Graham - his voice is so smarmy, and he's a southern Republican, so blech.

I saw it on the Daily Show, but seekingferret at dreamwidth (the posts and comment section look remarkably like livejournal, where I do have an account - I don't have one there) has the transcript and her reaction as a Jewish American. And that "New York humor" =  "Jewish Humor" for many, many people.

I agree with her - where was the media outrage?

Sen. Graham asked her what she was doing on Christmas, because of the would-be bomber last Christmas. The exchange makes no sense.

She said she was eating Chinese food. A Jewish senator jumped in to explain away her answer as "New York" humor.

The media reaction has been minimal - I saw it on the Daily Show. (Not that I watch much TV news, it makes me want to break the TV - but it didn't appear on my yahoo front page as "Sen. Graham's outrageous question" or something. I guess the latest way to lose weight is more important.)

She probably went to an old stereotype because it's none of his damn business what she does on December 25th, and if she said that, "Sir, with all due respect, I don't think that's any of your business," it would be in the media about how rude Kagan is. It's a harmless question!

No it's not.

I don't call myself a Christian, but my family does. So we do the Christmas thing - presents and deviled eggs and such. (We also watched vintage Family Feud and it was so creepy the way that Richard Dawson kissed all the women - on the lips. What an invasion of space!) But if someone asked me, I'd ask them why they want to know.

Do they ask Christian nominees what they do for Eid or Passover or Holi?

Non-Christians are the minority in this country, according to many polls by many polling companies. (So it's not just a blip - the results are the same again and again.)

But what really gets my goat is that we call America a country founded on "Judeo-Christian" values. It used to be just Christian, and it may still be in some circles, I wouldn't know. (I prefer "Abrahamic religions" because it covers Muslims as well.)

The "Judeo" part is just an empty gesture.

So my main reaction is "Judeo" Christian my ass.

Very eloquent, nah?

Seekingferret does a much better job, and makes much more sense than me. Do check out her post.

Pajama Jeans and ableism

So I was wasting time, I mean, visiting other websites so I could learn more about the world. Wasting time.

One site I check out daily or so is Odee.com. It's like Cracked, only there's less funny commentary - most of the things presented in the lists are done without comment, or just a basic description. Like today's is a compilation of photobombs, and there is no writing, just the pictures and links to the sources.

Yesterday was "12 Strangest Jeans" and one of them really caught my attention and made me go, I want that!

Number 11 is "The Pajama Jeans" and the write-up isn't very mean or anything -

Hate having to change out of your SpongeBob pajamas when all you want to do is eat at the hotel's breakfast buffet before heading back to your bunk?

Of course, as a college student, I see nothing wrong with wearing said SpongeBob pants out and about. However, I am quite dignified and only wear my pj pants on Saturdays, my laundry day. I figure if they get dirty, no big deal. I thought it was funny last Saturday, as I walked towards and then with a big tour group - "Look, it's a college student in pajamas! Just like on the teevee!"

Right now I rotate weekly between a blue plaid pair with my name on the leg and a just a pair of black loose drawstring pants. My awesome neon green plaid pants (with a pocket!) had some holes in bad places, and I was mature enough to throw them out. (I did wear those to class maybe last spring or the fall before - I'd slept through my first class and it was 15 minutes or so into my French class. I threw my old ratty jacket on over my PJs and went to class. I wear a bra to bed, but it's looser than the ones I wear with clothes.)

Here is the infomercial:



I want these pants. I have 4 pairs of jeans - expensive, good quality, but I haven't worn them in at least a year due to pain. Yes, I'm fat and my weight has gone up, but even if I went out and bought jeans that fit (which is what I did with these 4), they'd still hurt because of the waistband. And if they didn't hurt, I'd be holding on to them because I didn't consult my male cousin on how to dress in jeans that are too big for your body.

I do not understand the hatred for sweatpants or yoga pants. When I think of sweat pants, I think of the sweat suits we wore in Iceland - cuffed at the leg and wrist, and purple (for me, I think) or pink.

I do not think of comfortable cloth pants that have a little flare at the end, like itsy bitsy bell bottoms.

I do not get the hatred for pants like that. If it's not khaki, denim, or part of a suit, it's either "yoga pants," "sweats," or "pajamas" and they are just icky. For the record, none of my pants have "juicy" across the butt.

Those kind of pants are very comfortable for me, due to my abdominal and pelvic pain. I imagine they're comfortable for other people with physical disabilities, any that would make buttoning/zipping a hassle, and people who have enough trouble getting dressed (for whatever reason) and want as few steps as possible.

So I want these pants. I don't have enough comfy pants, and I do miss wearing jeans and look! pockets! It's more variety in my wardrobe!

And not that's it anyone's business, but, despite the name, they would not be pajama pants. They're too fancy! When I don't have school, I try to get dressed. And it's important to have a division between pajamas and "dressed" clothes, especially since most of my pajamas are "dressed" clothes, just in different colors. (Bra*, panties, pants/shorts, t-shirt/tank top) It's an important thing, part of a ritual, and also important when depression has me in its grip. "Look, I got dressed! I did something!"

So I googled pajama pants, because the link was just a site saying "Hey, check these out!" The first link was to the official website, the second to the commercial, and the third, ooh, the title alone pissed me off, I just had to click on it. It said "What do 'pajama jeans' say about Americans?"

I knew the answer - we're fat and lazy - before even clicking. But I had to.

First of all, he says they seem like a "hoax" SNL commercial.

He then quotes another crueler blogger who says that the pants say, "I'm an idiot who can't deal with even the most mundane of day-to-day adult responsibility like a pair of jeans that are secretly pajamas."

And they're lumped in with the snuggie and footie pajamas (not for me, my feet always got too hot) as a sign of how lazy and indulgent we are, because we need even more things for lounging around the house in.

Plus, these are expensive, at $40 US. I say if they last and they're comfy, they're not too expensive.

I can't figure out where this guy is going - we're lazy and we're so lazy we're going to spend $40 on pajamas that look like jeans.

The ableism is there the whole time, and he does call the pants "crazy" (as opposed to expensive velour sweats) because they are pajamas.

But the final sentence pissed me off so much.

Exactly. If you can't get out of your pajamas to go out of the house, and have to buy pajamas that look like jeans, then don't leave the house.

Excuse me, I should not even leave the house? Well, fuck you very much Aaron Crowe.

Oh, no, I just had to keep looking. The comments at another site are disgusting - sizeist (only gross fatties wear sweats), classist (it will free up space in the trailer... WTF?), and just ugh.

The actual post is disgusting on its own, the comments just make it worse. (Though yay for the people saying, nope, I disagree those look comfy.) These pants make the author ANGRY and that you need to GROW UP because you are DOING SOMETHING WRONG if you even think of wanting these. (All caps his.)

The ableism and privilege on display at these two sites are disgusting.

And no one has told me why wearing sweats out and about is so disgusting. They cover everything (including my pale, hairy legs) and they're not going to attack you in your $100 designer jeans and make you look like me. People associate them with sleep (which is gross, I guess?) or exercise (so you sweat) and assume that if you wear them anywhere but bed or the gym, that you're too lazy to change. Because they know everything about you! Assumptions are fun, y'all!

And aren't skinny pants and leggings worse on a "bad pants" scale? Sweats are loose, but leggings can give you "moose knuckle" or "camel toe". Not that I care, no one's forcing me to wear them, and no is forcing you to wear sweats.

I wasn't paid by anybody to write this (one day... nah, never going to happen), but I seriously want a pair of these. XL, in case the pajama jeans people are reading.



*Anyone ever hear you can't wear a bra to bed or your boobs will stop growing? I wish. Something that isn't a myth but drives me up the wall is body hair and shaving. I don't shave my legs - it's too much hassle, hello I can't see! But there are parts on my calves where I did shave a few times, and you can tell the difference because the hair that grew back is indeed a different texture and a bit darker. Considering how pale my legs are, it really stands out. But I don't care. As for pits? I've been shaving them for years, and those hairs definitely come back jet black and hard.

Medication for Bipolar Disorder and TV Shows

Disclaimer - I am not saying people should be forced to take medication. I am talking about my experience with one drug and my objections to how my situation (and part of my life) is portrayed on TV.

I have bipolar disorder.

It's never been formally diagnosed, and I haven't taken an internet test to "prove" it. I just know. It's more than "just" depression.

I started a new medication about a month ago. My doctor said it was anti-seizure, and he wanted to see if it would work on my pain, since my pain is most likely nerve-related, and I'm pretty sure nerves have something to do with seizures. (But I'm not a doctor!)

I asked at FWD if anyone had any experience on it. (I know, I won't look up a new drug, but I'll ask people online. I don't understand it either. I'm weird.) One person said it had been prescribed for their moods, not pain, and it was working. *file info away for later*

It's done zilch for my pain. The last two weeks have been hell, as has the last month and the month before... the pain's getting worse.

BUT.

It has worked on my mood swings. I saw the prescribing doctor today and I was trying to describe the continued effects and one word I used was "stable" as in, I'm stable. He said that was key, that was very important. It makes me happy to see and feel the results of a medication, particularly a daily one. (I can tell when the benadryl workzzzzzzzz.)

I've been on anti-depressants for a few years, and Clonazepem, which is a something or other.

But this is the first time I've noticed a real change. Actually, I didn't notice until Mom pointed out that I had changed, and then I was like huh, so I have.

Before, it was like... possession. Now, when I get angry or sad, it's organic. (Weird way to put it, it's all in my head anyway.) In 2006, I had my first bout of suicidal ideation. The best term for the thoughts was "alien," even though I still don't fully understand what I meant or what those thoughts meant.

But with my mood swings, the "alien" idea made more sense. A better metaphor is a switch. A switch is flicked, I get so pissed off. Switched again, I don't want to do anything. Switched again, back to baseline. No control. Which got a bit annoying, because I'd be mad at somebody. They'd get mad at me for being mad at them for no reason. Then I'd get mad at them for being mad at me when I had no control over the original anger!

Now, the part about TV. People who have bipolar disorder on cop shows never want to take their medication because it puts them in a fog, or they can't feel anything. (Also, people with "TV schizophrenia" do this as well.)

I can't speak for anyone but myself, because nobody is alike, and no brain is either. You may react to this same drug in a horrible way, I don't know.

I just don't like the dominant storyline that medications for bipolar disorder are inherently bad. One blog post won't dispel the myth, but I really wanted to write this.

Another metaphor - I was the rope in a tug of war, being jerked from side to side. Or I was in my sister's car. Zing!

ETA: Another problem with the dominant cultural storyline is that it leads to fear of medication (again, not pushing it for everyone), fear of even trying it, and assumptions made about bipolar people who do choose medication. Perhaps if the narrative was more realistic, people would be less afraid to admit they have bipolar disorder. I mean, I'm taking a big risk by saying it here. Depression is gradually being accepted, I feel, though some people will say one day, "I understand" and the next tell you to just smile. Sigh.

Another letter to the school paper!

Speaking about money issues, this school does not go out of its way to be accessible to students with disabilities.

The elevator in Dunn is still broken, the 3rd floor is still inaccessible, and Dunn has some very steep, vertigo-inducing stairs.

Today, I was in Jones, luckily only on the first floor. Because their ONE elevator is broken as well. They say it may be fixed by next week, but it shouldn't be broken with no alternatives.

Too many buildings on campus have just one old elevator. The dorms aren't much better - in Richardson, one is constantly broken and there have been times when both are broken.

Last week, I was in the brand new waste of money called the UC, and the big glass elevators in the center were, you guessed it, broken. There are others in the UC, making it an exception. Too bad we don't have class there.

One thing we must do in addition to fixing the elevators in Dunn and Jones is adding a second one. Do you know what it's like to feel stranded because the elevator is broken and you're in too much pain to walk down 3 dizzy flights of stairs?

Also, the school does not help those with mobility issues who do not need a wheelchair. Sometimes, I cannot walk because of my pain. But if it's before 6pm and I need to get to class, I'm SOL.

Finally, people who park in front of the curb cuts are not disciplined enough, because they keep doing it. They are so important they can just impede a person's progress because they couldn't be bothered to find a legal parking spot?

This school's priorities disgust me sometimes.

Dunn's second floor is accessible through the building next door, but it doesn't really help me when I'm trying to conserve energy and move as little as possible, because I have to walk the length of the psych building twice.

I'll let you know if there's a response.

There's been some recent back and forth - a student wrote in decrying the waste of money that is the UC (and more proposed renovations - but only for dining stuff, because it's from Aramark so the money can't be used in a sensible way) and the lack of books in the campus library. An official wrote back (in the paper) saying, Aramark blah blah we do our best go Tigers. Another student's letter was published today saying, essentially, So? We don't pay our professors well, we don't use our money wisely.

I wonder if mine will be published.

ETA: I got a call on my (now MIA) phone today. The letter won't be published.

Because they're doing an article on the subject. Parts of my letter will be used in the article, along with the short phone conversation.

Exciting!

ETA2: Paper's out. The letter is printed. But someone did call me, and my phone number isn't on my FB or anything, it was with the letter form. Maybe they didn't have room, who knows?

"Long meals make (for) short lives."

I'm not sure on the exact wording, but I know it included "long meals" and "short lives". I don't remember if it was "Long meals make short lives" or "Long meals make for short lives."

Both on google turn up cookbooks and stuff on hair.

No picture. Hmm, I could take my laptop and lift the offending napkin holder up to its computer, but the place where I saw it is closed today and they may have removed it.

Basically, they used to insert ads for stuff on campus, especially food, on the sides of a the napkin holders. But now it's all "healthy" BS - stop eating you fattie, get healthy.

The quote is attributed to nobody but "a proverb." No sources!

Anyways, even if I could find said "proverb," I'd still be mad at the fat-shaming and food policing.

But what gets me - and makes me write a blog post about it - is that it makes no damn sense at all, outside of guilting fat students, thin ones, "average ones", and makes us really think about our food.

I like food because it tastes good and fills me up, and sometimes when I eat within 30 minutes of a pain pill, it helps the medication work better. The food also keeps me alive, as it does for everyone. Certain foods don't, depending on allergies or whatever, but we need food for living. Even zombies eat!

Anyway, here are the problems with the "proverb" -

No country or time given, so I assume it was a diet guru who said it.

When  proverbs were written or said, most people did not have access to excess food. It's only recently in human history that all classes can eat to gluttony. (While the relatively rich people of the world starve themselves.) And it's not even true across the world, or the country, or my state, my county, my city - I'm sorry, people have "food insecurity."

And mealtimes have long been considered important for socialization - and not just with the nuclear family. It's a way to schmooze, get free food (as a guest), get to know people, make business/political connections (even back in Roman/Greek times). Mealtimes are important.

"Long" meals are important as well. When my family (after the divorce, when he was still there it was compulsory. If he showed up, we'd all scramble to make it look like we never left the table.) eats at the table, be it at home or at a restaurant, we take longer than when mom makes a pot of delicious mac and cheese and we come and go as we please. We talk about things. That is considered a good thing, especially as your children get older. It's a way to connect and be a family. Of course, it's not the only way, but it's a good routine way, and I think calling it bad is just wrong. And then there's dinner with friends or extended family, the plates are empty, but who cares, we're busy yakking.

Another thing that makes a meal "long" is taking your time, which is often encouraged for a number of reasons, but I'm sure it's been encouraged as a way to lose weight, because everything you do either makes you gain weight and become a bad person or makes you lose weight and become a good one.

The so-called proverb makes no damn sense if you think about it, which I believe we're supposed to do. FAIL

ETA - do check out The Fat Nutritionist website.

ETA2 - I saw it again, and I was totally wrong. "To lengthen your life, shorten your meals." Google turned up nothing, with "to lengthen your life" - except 7 foods to lengthen your life.

ETA3 - looking it up with the quotation marks turned it up, but no source besides "proverb." The first result - not linking to such a hate-filled site, is called
"Weight loss with your food addiction" And it's under "diet" quotes and proverbs, but no damn source, country, or time.

So I was wrong about the quote, they did find it somewhere, but the analysis still stands. It's bullshit.

An Assamese Song

I'm sorry I don't have any more information.

I think it's Assamese. That's all I've got.

Information about Assamese movies and music is very hard to find. Hindi? A breeze. Tamil? Still easy. Telugu? Yup. Kannada? A bit harder. Punjabi? Not too hard. Malayalam? A bit harder - and it doesn't help that spelling changes a lot, especially for non-Hindi films. (I'm sure they're spelled one way in Tamil/Telugu/Assamese/etc, but when they're transliterated, it all goes out the window. How many letters is needed?

I am feeling a bit stressed, because I am staring down the barrel of my own health insurance in about 18 months. If I go to PT tomorrow and they say yes, they think they can help, I could be seriously SOL. Not because I don't want it to work, but because it takes time, especially with something as murky as "feminine" problems possibly coupled with abdominal wall pain. So 6 months - no more pain! Or, er, try again? Except in 6 months, I'll be a year away from health insurance and the end of college (I hope). I won't have time for alternate ideas, like a hysterectomy. I can do one this summer, no problem. I don't think I'd have time next winter break (only 4-5 weeks), and next summer, I'd still be insured until August, except I can't have a lapse in coverage unless I'm incredibly rich, due to all my prescriptions, which require at least yearly visits to specialists. Oh well, with no insurance, I won't need referrals, so I can go straight to the specialist.

I seriously hate this country's medical industry. Health insurance should not be tied to your job (and your worth as a person shouldn't be tied to it either, but that's for another day) and the words "pre-existing condition" should not exist. Yes, I'll cost you money. No profit on the Kaitlyn file!

And since I hate this country, I'd love to move (except no more Netflix, first world sacrifices are hard) but what do I have to offer to Canada or the UK? Or Japan or France? Or any g-d country that takes care of its citizens? The quickest way to immigrate seems to be through work.

Let's look at that - I'd have to get a job and be good enough that they'd consider sending me overseas. I may get insurance (with high premiums) through this job. I can't work unless my pain is stable, and my pain isn't legally stable without insurance (or a lottery pay out).

Yes, I am an ungrateful little socialist brat. Most people have health insurance through work (their's, their spouse's, their parents) so they don't care. "I got mine, Jack, eff off!" I'm also selfish - "I DON'T got mine, Jack, help!" But by helping me, millions of others would get help.

I voted for Obama, so if I vote D in the midterms, I'll get insurance. (Of course Ds in Tennessee makes Rs look Democratic.)

So I've said it - I hate this place, I want to move. A little assistance, please? I mean, you'll be glad to be rid of me, since I'm such an ungrateful little commie.

It's really in all our best interest if I'm deported as soon as possible. My mom was in Canada and Japan before I was born, and I lived in Italy and Iceland as a child - pick one! Canada is my first choice, thanks!

"It's from a movie!"

Today I needed a ride to my mom's job because my doctor appointment... blah blah blah.

I had to ride with Becky and her friend.

They watched "The Hangover" last night.

Within a couple minutes, Becky used the word "retarded" (or "retard") in a derogatory manner. ("That's so -" or "You're such a -") I objected and asked her not to use that word.

Her response?

"It was in the movie!"

It wasn't even a clever insult using derogatory, cruel language. Just a plain ol' insult. Used everywhere. (They also said other things from the movie about casinos - nothing funny to me, the third party who hadn't seen the movie. If you're going to quote a movie, shouldn't you use a funny or interesting quote to make somebody want to see it and not just go "Hee hee we have an in-joke!")

I didn't tell her this, because she doesn't care. But I wanted to say it. And hey, here's my blog. (She would see it if I said anything on Facebook.)

If you quote a movie, you are endorsing the use of the language in the quote. If I watched the Hangover and liked it, I would like it despite the use of the word "retarded." I would not go around using it, saying it's the movie. This was a phrase my sister liked and felt comfortable saying.

I can analyze a character's use of a word or bigoted thinking without endorsing it. (The difference between agreeing with the sexist BS on "The Simpsons" and analyzing it.) And I think that just repeating it is an endorsement. (Of course, you could be repeating it to go "WTFOMG can you believe they said that?" But that's not what happened.)

Another thing - using song lyrics as a status on Facebook, or anywhere else. My sister and my cousin and some friends do it all the time. I hate it. Some of the lyrics are disturbing, so my mom will ask her about it. "It's just a song!" If you felt comfortable enough to repeat it, you better be ready to explain it.

To sum up - do not hide behind the fact that you are using someone else's words when you say something offensive. You felt comfortable repeating it, that is the problem.

I hate name bashing.

I really do.

Full on racists will talk about somebody having a "black name." Or just make up stuff because the name is too "foreign."

Name bashing is always directed at the person with the name.

I did not pick my name.

I did not pick its spelling.

Yes, I know you don't know how to spell it. Excuse me if I get a little pissy - you're not the first person this month, this week, this day, this hour that I have had to spell it for.

I am not changing my name.

I like it, I consider it a part of who I am. I even like the spelling.

Stop bashing people's names.

What stirred me to write this?

Against my better nature, I started reading Roommate Confessions on CollegeHumor. One could be considered ableist --

Remember when I gave up trying to protest your overbearing OCD/hypochondria that you used to dominate our dorm? Yeah, that's about the same time I started having sex on your bed when you went home on weekends, or, you know, to class.
Sandra Flores, GMU

Another bashes the roommate's name and her mother in addition to using disgusting ableist language --

Brittannie: first of all, teach your trashy mother how to spell a simple name right. It makes you look retarded right off the bat, but then again, perhaps she knew it would be fitting later on in life.

Another shows somebody who is incredibly cruel and ableist (it's funny to hurt your roommate!) --

That wasn't pink eye. I put some steel wool shavings in your contact case and dipped the tip of your eye liner in dish soap.
Dee B, BSC

However, all is not lost.

Right underneath that disgusting confession is this --

You wrote in to Roommate Confessions to brag about a prank you pulled on me. A prank that resulted in severe bodily injury. Well, I never mentioned it, but I did bookmark the page and show it to my parents. And our lawyer. And the dean. Guess what, dumbass? You might've looked like a badass on the internet for fifteen minutes, but you're the one who got kicked out of college and is getting sued for every cent you're worth. Checkmate, bitch.
John T., School Not Given

I applaud you, John T. Most of these confessions are of roommates vandalizing their roommates' property, spoiling their food, and just being a jerk in response to jerkiness.

I don't know much about CollegeHumor's reputation, but I do know that it - like most "humor" sites - seems to be marketed towards boys. The front page always has a "cute college girl" on it.

I mostly visit for "Parents Just Don't Understand" which chronicles parents, siblings, everybody who has trouble with technology. It's the least objectionable part of the site.

Back to names - I cannot stand it when people complain about the spelling of a "traditional" (White, WASP) name. Before the previous cycle of ANTM, cycle 12, the website Jezebel put up the finalists. One had the name Kourtney. Cue the "I hate her!" cries - because her name is spelled with a K.

Names are not sacred. There are no rules - at least not in America. I do not care that my name is considered a derivative of a "better" name. This is my name. Stop insulting me.

And also, would it hurt to pronounce it right? I'm not talking about when I write it - total chickenscratch city - but when it's on a computer printout.

KAITLYN

No H's, no R's. I am not Katherine. I am not Kathleen. I am not Katrine. I am KAITLYN.

Living at home does not make you a bum, Judge Judy.

I only watch Judge Judy (and other judge shows) with my mom. I couldn't stand them by myself.

On today's episode, I only paid attention to the beginning. She asked somebody where his brother was. Turns out the brother was back home. Not because of work, since he doesn't work. He's 19 and lives with Mom.

Making him a bum.

Judge Judy is very rude to people who live at home beyond what age she deems appropriate. I remember many episodes where she ends it by saying, "Grow up and move out of your mom's house! *bangs gavel*"

Then there is the joke of "nerds" in their mother's basement. (Never their father's, or their parents'. Always mother's.)

It's a shortcut to calling somebody immature.

So I read Slate - I like the ad and shopping reviews - and this caught my eye a couple weeks ago. The headline is "Prudie counsels a husband-to-be whose bride wants her own bedroom—and other advice seekers." The main issue I took away is not that the bride wants her own bedroom, but that she's never lived alone. And she's a "woman old enough to marry."

The comments were disgusting. Many people had no problem with separate bedrooms, but others called the bride (that they only know about through her fiance's letter) immature.

My first thought was hello, not every culture shoves their kids out at 18.

But as I started reading FWD/Forward and this entry, I realized the other problems with the response to the letter and the idea of living at home once you become an "adult."

There are many valid reasons to live at home after the magical age of 18. One of the many reasons is health - some of us cannot and should not live alone. I live in the dorm while I'm at school, but right now I am at home because of the kidney stone. For one thing, I'll be less tempted to try to go to class. It's not more convenient for Mom, but I feel miserable and I get to see my puppies! Mikey is a trip - he totally beat Mom up tonight. And right now he's sleeping on her butt, quite happy.

Then there is my mother's health - what if she were in my flipflops? I'd want somebody to be with her. I'd feel I should take care of her.

I think there is a problem with America - we place so much importance on certain markers of "independence" that those who do not follow the rules are "immature" and "weird." We also do not place a lot of emphasis on family. No, I don't want to move in my with husband's family, but I don't want to be demonized for living with my mom at 21.

And not having a job.

And not driving. (That is a pain. My sister drops the issue for a while, but it's back up again - "Why don't you drive?" "Because I don't want to" is not a valid answer in her eyes, and admittedly, if I were to stay here, I'd have to drive. But I don't want to - I want to live some place where a combination of walking and public transportation can do a car's job for me. Plus, I don't think I legally can drive, thanks to all my medications.)

It is nobody's business why people live like they do, and as long as no one is being hurt or any laws are being broken, no one has a right to judge.

I am not a bum because I live with my mother.

I am not immature, either.

And it is none of your business why I do it. (Except I already told you. Eh, shut it.)

Time for a Bollywood movie!

This is so ugh.

Marry Him! by Lori Gottlieb

This is a disgusting, arrogant, and depressing article.

The author's a single mom who calls herself a feminist. She waited to get married, she held for her true love, but now she's wiser and knows she should settle. Not until the end of the article does she acknowledge her son again, in a good way, I guess.

And while I have a much higher tolerance for settling than I did back then, now I have my son to consider. It’s one thing to settle for a subpar mate; it’s quite another to settle for a subpar father figure for my child. So while there’s more incentive to settle now, there’s less willingness to settle too much, because that would be a disservice to my son.

Before that, this is what she has to say about her son (and dating):

Before I got pregnant, though, I also read single-mom books such as Choosing Single Motherhood: The Thinking Woman’s Guide, whose chapter titles “Can I Afford It?” and “Dealing With the Stress” seemed like realistic antidotes to the faux-empowering man-hunting manual headings like “A Little Lingerie Can Go a Long Way.” But the book’s author, Mikki Morrissette, held out a tantalizing carrot. In her introduction, she describes having a daughter on her own; then, she writes, a few years later and five months pregnant with her son, “I met a guy I fell in love with. He and my daughter were in the delivery room when my son was born in January 2004.” Each time I read about single women having babies on their own and thriving instead of settling for Mr. Wrong and hiring a divorce lawyer, I felt all jazzed and ready to go. At the time, I truly believed, “I can have it all—a baby now, my soul mate later!”

Well … ha! Hahahaha. And ha.

Just as the relationship books fail to mention what happens after you triumphantly land a husband (you actually have to live with each other), these single-mom books fail to mention that once you have a baby alone, not only do you age about 10 years in the first 10 months, but if you don’t have time to shower, eat, urinate in a timely manner, or even leave the house except for work, where you spend every waking moment that your child is at day care, there’s very little chance that a man—much less The One—is going to knock on your door and join that party.

They also gloss over the cost of dating as a single mom: the time and money spent on online dating (because there are no single men at toddler birthday parties); the babysitter tab for all those boring blind dates; and, most frustrating, hours spent away from your beloved child. Even women who settle but end up divorced might be in a better position than those of us who became mothers on our own, because many ex-wives get both child-support payments and a free night off when the kids go to Dad’s house for a sleepover. Never-married moms don’t get the night off. At the end of the evening, we rush home to pay the babysitter, make any houseguest tiptoe around and speak in a hushed voice, then wake up at 6 a.m. at the first cries of “Mommy!”

Try bringing a guy home to that.

No one forced you to have a kid.

I don't know why she had a kid as a single mom, but taken with her obsession with marriage, marriage, marriage, even if he's "rude to the waiter" she must think she's incomplete without both.

Another thing that bothered me:

and the theme of holding out for true love (whatever that is—look at the divorce rate)

It couldn't be because women got married young to someone they thought they loved, that they settled because they didn't want to be a spinster, no, all divorced couples were fools who thought they knew what love was! I'm sure there was love at first, but marrying someone you're crazy about doesn't necessarily mean you'll end up divorced. Especially if you take your time and don't settle into a marriage too soon. I know that, and I'm only 19!

Even women who settle but end up divorced might be in a better position than those of us who became mothers on our own, because many ex-wives get both child-support payments and a free night off when the kids go to Dad’s house for a sleepover.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?

Marry a rich guy, no matter how bad he is, so that you can get a divorce and still be rich. The author doesn't want a partner, a lover, she wants a wallet. She wants a body.

My parents' divorce was not hard on my sister or me. But I know plenty of people who weren't so lucky. And if there's money involved, the divorce will be even nastier. She's living in a fantasy world.

Her descriptions of marriages is even more depressing:

The couples my friend and I saw at the park that summer were enviable but not because they seemed so in love—they were enviable because the husbands played with the kids for 20 minutes so their wives could eat lunch. In practice, my married friends with kids don’t spend that much time with their husbands anyway (between work and child care), and in many cases, their biggest complaint seems to be that they never see each other. So if you rarely see your husband—but he’s a decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own—how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One?

"You're never going to find 'the One' and you don't want to die alone, do you?"

She is obsessed with not being alone - never mind that she has a child, a child that loves her, a child that will be there for her forever.


One last thing, the bit that made me want to blog about this bullshit:

And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying.

What are you supposed to be worried about? Being 30 and unmarried.

I've got about 10 years and 3 months until I'll be 30. I don't want to get married. I don't want kids. But I'm too young to know any better. I don't like being around little kids, but once I have one, I'll change.

As for marriage? I definitely don't want to settle! Settling sounds like marriage for marriage's sake only, being Mrs. Somebody is all that matters. I believe that that is what my dad did (though he didn't settle when he married my mom! She is so much better than him!) and he's on his 4th divorce. He's got 5 kids and only one kinda sorta likes him. He came from a broken home, and I guess he wanted to create the perfect one. He certainly tried with us - appearances, appearances.

The author knows what's best, and she knows that within 10 years, I will be baby and marriage crazy. Because her feelings are the same as everybody else's.

Settling is depressing, it is a reality, and it is sick to push it as the only alternative to dying alone.

This is SO not fair.

Or right.

School doesn't start til the 27th, I can still transfer to the University of New Mexico. I've got family in Albuquerque. Classes start at UNM tomorrow, which could be a problem.

What's not fair? All UNM students can ride all city buses for free! Thanks to the Lobo Ride Pass.


I have to pay $28 for 21 rides! As a college student!


And the regular adult fare is "I'll-Be-Quirky" is only one dollar, fifty cents less than here.

Like I've said before, MATA couldn't suck more if the buses were replaced with vacuums.

Most cities with buses have monthly passes for regular commuters, including Albuquerque.

I may not get LOGO,

but I do get Comedy Central.

So I did not get to see the Democratic candidates on LOGO, only the Daily Show's coverage, which I saw this morning at 9 because I went to bed at 10:15 last night.

And what they covered bothered me.

Only 2 candidates said they support gay marriage.

The rest were just stupid, because, like Jon said, they had to tell the gay voters they supported them while not acting like they really supported them for the other voters.

Dammit.

That's not right - normally, a strong position on an issue will kill any candidate's national campaign - they can't really be for or against anything.

But they can with gay marriage - only against.

Republicans can say they hate gays and get elected, and democrats can't say the opposite or even that they deserve the same rights as heterosexuals and come close to winning.

Let me go watch the Colbert Report and be glad I chose to be straight.

Mississippi did something smart!

Didn't last long.

A high school football player died from heatstroke during practice, and there was and probably still is a heat advisory in place for most of the state.

Along with the triple digit heat.

The day after the student's death, a judge ordered that there be no school-sponsored activities outside between the hours of 9am and 7pm.

People were pissed, because the schools affected would be at a disadvantage because their players couldn't play as much as the others, and they take care of the students and blah blah blah. I thought it was smart, everyone else I know thought it was smart, but we don't play football in Mississippi.

Or anywhere else. It is so hot, Becky's friends don't play basketball when they come over, and they've done that all summer, even when it edged towards 100.

These last few days have been too hot.

Every time I've gone outside, I get dizzy, nauseous, and soaked in sweat. And that's just walking to the mailbox. I'm not in perfect shape, but I rode my bike all summer - one time, a temperature display said it was 100, and it was not that bad.

Let's go back south, shall we?

A higher court overturned the judge's ruling.


And the coaches who were pissed off are saying that their position is "common sense", not the judge's. He doesn't have the authority.

His team practiced at 6:30am on Friday, but they're back to normal now.

What is wrong with practicing early in the morning and late in the evening?

I can't think of a single reason!

And someone I know died of heatstroke 2 years ago. He was at boot camp in Missouri.

These coaches have been in the sun too long.

The TV show "Murder"

It's a new original Spike TV reality show.

Very little is on TV on the weekends, besides movies and baseball.

And lots of CSI on one particular channel.

So I've seen the commercials for the show "Murder" too many times to count.

When I first saw these, I was horrified and disgusted. They didn't reveal much information in the commercials, besides that it's real people solving real crimes - in a competition, no less!

I couldn't believe it was legal, letting ordinary people solve homicides, or work at it anyway.

When I started seeing the commercials, I didn't have internet access (or a computer), and I just now got around to looking it up online.

There aren't many reviews, just basic articles from TV websites, like this one or this one.

Seeing that was such a relief - I hoped they were recreated crimes that the contestants would be working on, not real, unsolved ones.

The commercial made it sound like the contestants were not only competing with each other, but with actual detectives.

They're not, at least not that I can tell. The detectives already solved the case, or another one did. These cases were all solved through forensics, just like CSI.

In this article, the executive producer said they looked through archives to find cases solved through forensics, not confessions and eyewitnesses, like most actually are.

Yeah crime shows are fictional, they make it seem like every case can be solved in an hour or two, but another bit, one I've known for a long time, is that most murders aren't that complex. Though you have to give kudos to Law and Order for giving a date at most scenes, showing that the "order" part takes a long time.

Not so for CSI, of course. The worst about CSI? Jerry Bruckheimer. He also does the Pirates movies! And Johnny Depp hasn't been in any CSI. For shame.

But still.

The show Murder turns my stomach.

But people will watch - everyone loves a good mystery.

I can't wait to see SiCKO.

I saw Michael Moore on the Daily Show yesterday, and caught him at 11 on Tavis Smiley, where he had more time to talk, and they showed a different clip.

I also like the latest commercial, casting him as Shaft - "Shut yo mouth!"

However, it naturally terrifies me due to my health problems. Even if nothing goes wrong, I'm still on plenty of medication and will be for the rest of my life (thyroid, calcium, vitamin D, allergy meds - NEVER stop those because your allergies have improved, what an idiot - and god knows what else.)

On PBS, he said he asked people to send him healthcare horror stories, expecting a few hundred, and getting 20 thousand, which does not surprise me.

I agree with what he has said so far (without seeing the film), we do not need the middle man of the insurance company. Human life should not be treated like a business product.

Working at the crisis center scares me, seeing people derailed financially by health problems, even when the care is free. St Jude's patients, for example. Free care for your kid, but you still miss work, and if your kid's in St Jude's, you're going to eat up your paid off days fast. I'm nowhere near as sick as a St Jude's patient, and my mom has no sick days. My dad can't watch us when we're sick because he'll "get fired" if he misses work. He says he has a lot of sick days, but he's saving them in case something terrible happens to himself, my sister, myself, or even my mom. Me staying in the hospital? "Best [I] ever looked!" Himself injured on the job? Nope.

Anyways, something I've been meaning to write about is prescription drug commercials, and I was finally spurred by the movie and his appearances on the Daily Show and Tavis Smiley.

Prescription drug commercials are fucked up.

Let me repeat that, to anybody with any knowledge of prescribing medication, these commercials are bizarre, useless, bullshit.

The only medication that I am on because of commercials is Singulair. I needed to be on an allergy med, and I'd never been on it, but I knew it's name, so we went with it. It's done all right.

I'm on another drug that is featured in commercials on TV - my birth control, Yaz. However, the commercials did not play a part in the decision at all, this was the one my OB-GYN thought best for me right now.

The other allergy medications I've been on since we stopped with the weekly shots have also been in commercials, but I didn't walk in and say, "I'm itchy. This commercial says this medication will make me stop itching. Prescribe it."

Same with the antidepressants. When I was put on Cymbalta, that was a decision my doctor made. After I got home, I started seeing commercials for it and continue to this day.

Everything else is not common enough to warrant commercials, except for the calcium supplement and the Lyrica, but I've only seen print ads, and they're aimed at a different nerve problem. (Or the same - just nerve damage and pain in a different part of the body.)

But commercials never entered my mind, when I get prescribed a new drug, we look it up online and ask the pharmacy about it. Locally owned independent drugstore - one reason I can't leave, they know my history, my medical allergies, everything. They pissed off my dad by not filling something because of insurance or it was too soon or somebody working at the pick-up section pissed him off, but I still depend on them. My insurance gives me uniform copays, unlike my poor mom.

Back to the ads.

Here are 2 things that bug me the most about the ads:

"Talk to your doctor." - Are you a doctor? No, you saw a commercial and knew you had this problem, this brand new problem that your doctor either didn't know about or didn't want to treat. Which is insane, because even if your doc is new, you can have your records faxed from your old one, you fill out info sheets on current meds, past and current health problems, everything. Your doctor knows you have high cholesterol, if you go in for your checkup and say, "Doc, put me on Expensrol, because the commercial said it was better than what you have me on," I don't think it will go well. No body reacts the same way to medication, and your doc generally has you on what he or she feels is best and what has not caused horrible side effects.

"Tell your doctor if you have XYZ, people with XYZ should not take ABC." - Your doctor should already know everything about your health and medical history. If not, get a new one and tell him or her everything! Sheesh.

They just bug me. I understand commercials for OTC drugs - they're not prescribed, and they're used by a lot of people. Your doc may recommend one, but not actually prescribe it.

I do have an OTC drug because of the commercials - Alavert. It really is good.

I think the ads for prescription medication are part of the reason they cost so damn much.

I don't know much about the business side of health care, and I don't want to.

My biggest worry about getting a job is not the pay, it's the health insurance. I can't expect the same thing I have now (unless I join the military, then my copays are zero), but I hope to get affordable copays and the treatment I need, not the treatment that saves the most money.

That's the problem - they can't turn a profit without denying operations, procedures, and medications. That's not right.

Our current president is a Christian, a very public one. Which makes me question his faith, sure he believes in God, but I thought religion was a private matter?

Would Jesus deny you afforable health care because of a pre-existing condition?

Jerry Falwell is dead.

And has been for a while.

I haven't had anything to say, I tried to contain my glee with the thought that what he started didn't die with him.

I never liked him, but what he said on September 11th kind of sealed the deal, and everything else he's said is just disgusting. I checked out the book American Fascists Monday and I told my mom that it wasn't about ordinary Christians, like her and Becky and the people who work at the Crisis Center, it was about the Falwells, and the Dobsons, and the Pat Robertsons, those jerks that hijacked the country and are trying to make it a Christian nation.

I can't believe I was happy to see he died of old age. 1 - no one killed him, that is very good. 2 - he was a hateful bigot. Here's a collection of his quotes from an atheist site.

What prompted me to finally say something was the 3 letters printed this week condemning Bill Day, the Commercial Appeal's editorial cartoonist, for a cartoon he did on the death of Falwell, mocking him.

Of course he'd mock him, if he's remotely liberal, he's responsible for September 11th and all the ills in the world.

He draws a lot of criticism that other cartoonists featured don't get, at least in the paper. No liberal ever complains, or gets printed, about the Ramirez cartoons that run - I don't remember his first name, but he's conservative, and since Bush vetoed the war bill passed by Congress, he's run too many fucking cartoons about how 'radical' Congress has become. If Congress was filled with bleeding heart liberals and radicals, we'd have free health care and impeachment proceedings! Grr.

On May 18, this cartoon ran in the Commercial Appeal. It's pretty weak, and not very funny to me, but it's pissing people off.



*yawn*

Cute - he called Tinky Winky gay, so ha ha, Tinky Winky's welcoming him to heaven. I don't get it.

The first letter was the next day said "Teletubbies don't go to heaven". Dogs do, according to the liberal nazis in Hollywood.

There were 2 more today, they were so stupid!

I worry Day will be replaced by other cartoonists, or a conservative one. This is the South, we need as many liberal voices as we can get.

But he keeps stepping on religious toes, because plainly, he doesn't worship Falwell and likes to poke fun at pompous people who blamed him for the worst terrorist attack on American soil.


There was another letter yesterday that made me see red - sent in by a guy, about the recent outcry about rape in a rich part of town, hence the coverage of it. The victims are calling for more police, but the asshole said police aren't there to protect us, women should take responsibilty for their own protection, if they get raped, it's their fault, no, it was their male relatives' fault for not protecting them. It seemed like he was saying that we shouldn't punish the rapists, since the women should protect themselves. Go to pandagon or feministe or reclusiveleftist and see why this is so offensive and stupid, it's not funny, because it's not unique - or limited to men, sadly. We can be aware of our surroundings, and take self defense or martial art classes, they give you confidence, but we are not responsible for a rapist's crimes - he is.

I agree with the letters today - we've been saying "Enough is enough" about crime for about ever, but it only makes the front page when it's rich people getting hurt. It's sad but true.

Though the rich victims have the money and time to pursue this, not the average victim. I'm glad they are asking "Why?" and demanding answers - someone has to, and it works better if it's somebody rich and with influence. That's how it works.

Now I'm going to watch Crossing Jordan on A&E. Toodles.

Wickett and his Massage

Mom was rubbing his belly and he decided he had enough.

Nothing was being done to him!

He's just a crabmonkey.

Two disgusting things today about the massacre at VT.

My mom is the personal assistant of a special ed high school girl with many problems, autism and schizophrenia are two mental problems for certain. Plus, she's most likely mentally retarded.

Her mom doesn't care and wants her to get an academic education, going to regular classes and not going to the special olympics because her daughter's not special in that way. What's bizarre is her mom has the same job my mom has, at a different school - special ed assistant.

Anyways, if the girl is in a good, docile mood and not asleep, they go to classes. The classes she goes to are the stupid classes, below normal freshman level.

The boys in the class were bragging that they could kill more with their AK-47, that no one would be left standing.

And since these idiots live in a more rural area, they probably hunt. It was only the white boys. Some are genuinely slow, but the assholes who say these things just don't give a damn.

My mom hates her job.

Contrast that with Becky's experience at school today - most of her classes are the 'smart' classes - she was put in psychology, a senior class. She hated it at first, but now she likes it.

The discussion in her classes?

Sadness, heartbreak over the loss of life. Some of the students live in a rural area, just like at mom's school, but Becky heard no such thing today.

Sick.

And thanks to Violet at Reclusive Leftist, I learned that there is a free gun giveaway in Virginia on Thursday.

Sick, sick, sick.

People suck.

I can't get over the snow.

I'm referring to the tragedy at Virginia Tech today - 33 dead at last count. The worst part? There were two shootings - two hours apart, and the campus police did nothing.

I hate TV news, local and national. But I watched the BBC World News on PBS at 5 for no real reason. (The accents?)

They had the best coverage - there are no background checks in Virginia? Since Columbine, the gun laws have been weakened in this country?

How does that make sense?

I had every channel on mute - they didn't cut into the insipid Inside Edition, but they cut into Jeopardy, and I was totally winning.

I didn't want to hear it, I prefer my news in a written format, when most of the facts are out - as it happens leaves you all messed up and confused.

So I had it on mute and some channels split the screen, so you had the talking head and footage from the school. In one, there were little light snowflakes, innocent and pure.

On top of a massacre.

I can't get over the snow.

Jon Stewart was great - he said he couldn't add anything insightful to the tragedy and he's going to bury the tragedy deep inside and freak out in 30 years over spilled juice, then went on to the e-mail thing.

Colbert hasn't said anything.

Oh, and I feel like shit. I finally got a new pain medication and it hasn't kicked in yet and the heating pad hasn't worked since 9 something this morning. Grr.