Rep. Steve Cohen

Steve Cohen is not my representative, sadly. He's not perfect, but he's better than who I do have.

I don't really care that he pointed out that the repeated lies - in many forms - that the government was taking over health care (I wish) was similar to what the Nazis did with propaganda. It's true. Maybe he did it cynically - in a better world, pundits would notice him because of his "uncivil" rhetoric and then go, yeah, he's telling the truth. Hey, maybe there's a reason he cares. I'd love to see if he went on the cable shows and said why health care reform matters, just to get it out there.

That won't happen, if it does he'll be shouted over.

It really really bothered me that the Daily Show jumped on it last week, but pointing out FOX's hypocrisy today kind of made up for it. Maybe he'll be on the show to explain it. More people will notice than if he was on some talking head program on some 24/7 news channel, because I think plenty of people are like me and can't stand "normal" news shows for more than a few minutes.

Also, I think the Daily Show covered just him last week is kind of a "we go after democrats too, democrats say things that aren't nice too, we're not biased, we're civil."

Anyway...

Health care reform is so important to Memphis. The city is very segregated still and poor, and white flight doesn't help. My god the mayor of the suburbs are immature, as we learned when school consolidation seemed close. When people think of the county, they think rich, white kids go to "good" schools, and poor, black kids go to "bad" schools in the city. That's nonsense, there are "bad" schools in the county, and "good" ones in the city - the same year the county schools made all As in standardized testing, my sister was offered a small scholarship because the high school she was from did not make all As. That high school is in the county.

But I ramble. The main reason health care reform has to happen and is so important to Memphis is our shameful high infant mortality rate. If people, not just pregnant women, but everyone had equal access to good health care, it would go down.

Health care reform is very important to me, as I contemplate joining the military for the health insurance*, and I choose to believe that it is important to Representative Cohen. A sign that he cares about his constituents.

*I'm not kidding. The military offers a guaranteed job, a guaranteed roof over your head, and guaranteed health insurance. All of my relatives who enlisted from my parents' generation on did not do so because they adore their country, but because the military offered an escape from rural poverty.

Getting the F over one's self.

Yesterday, my mom got lost. (For any relatives who still stick around, take a minute to go "Duh.")

She saw an international grocery store, and it said things like "Arabic" and "Indian" on the front window (along with Russian, Greek, so many countries!) and she knew I'd be excited.

I was. Especially since it's not far from my school.

My school is half in and half out of the bad/poor/black/poor black part of town. My white friend lives in a neighborhood filled with huge old growth trees and old postwar houses (some have these amazing pre-AC deep porches that make me want to become an architect. I'm weird) and lots of crime.

The grocery store is in that part.

Mom and I may have been the only white people in there, I was too busy looking for Bollywood DVDs only to be disappointed because my Arabic isn't that good and I forgot to check if they have English subtitles, something to look for next time!

The woman at the check-out was light skinned with an accent (from Ohio, I think she admitted that our winter was cold *Memphis snow day pride!*) and she didn't look at me like I was some weirdo for being white and buying something. I did, however, regret my 50 pounds of pennies when I learned they don't take cards. Mom ran out to get some cash.

I bought hummus and baklava. Someone brought hummus to my anthropology class last semester (3 hour night class, snacks about an hour in) and I loved it! I found the brand at Kroger, even in Tipton County. (Locals, locals, locals are you with me? Someone fetch the smelling salts!)

But then I read that the stuff here doesn't hold a candle to the real stuff. I remember the hummus from this cheap middle eastern restaurant, and bought the only container they had. It's decorated nicely with spices and ... green leaves? I am an American wuss and don't like it.

Oh well.

Anyway, to the title.

My sister went to the Wal-Mart in Raleigh by herself Friday evening, and felt so out of place because she was the only white person there!

When I went to the mall with her, she wouldn't let me go in a clothing store because it was for black people (bright colored t-shirts know no race!).

I always wanted to go back and go in there and find something pretty, but the malls are far away.

I don't think I'm the only white person at Bollywood movies, but when I arrived early for "New York" this summer, the only other people in the lighted theater were Indian. They wanted to make sure I was in the right place. (The movie was not advertised anywhere in the theater, you had to be in the know.)

I remember thinking about being the only white face at Dehli 6 a year ago, mostly because it was a 7 or 8 pm weeknight showing, and they wouldn't let us in the theater! So it's a bunch of Indian people and a girl in a Stanford hoodie (open so her SRK shirt shows) milling around. I felt more out of place because I was alone, and the themes in the beginning of the movie stressed family and friends.

My mom and I don't always see the same way on race, and my sister and I will never see eye to eye, but as we were driving through the old neighborhoods (not old money neighborhoods), she was talking about living there. (The porches! I love me a good porch!)

Maybe it was her time in Japan, maybe it was the military that opened her mind, because she is quite tolerant of my desire to wander through places like the international grocery store and that one in Knoxville, we looked for brands from Japan and I looked for the ones advertised on Bollywood DVDs. And with the Pepsi Throwback out (it has sugar, which improves the taste according to former Pepsi addict Mom), we are looking at foreign sodas. I got an orange one at a Mexican restaurant a couple weeks ago - no HFCS.

The one pity in all this? Neither of us are coffee drinkers (she likes the chocolate confections with a dash of coffee) so we can't test Arabic coffee! It's supposed to be stronger.

They not only had Nutella, they had other brands of hazelnut spread, oh drool.

Anyways, my point is be aware of your surrounding, but if you (and a companion) are the only whatevers in a group, get over it. Maybe you'll learn something.

Of course, my friend and I ate at some sub place a couple weeks ago, and she was like, "Kaitlyn, we're the only girls here." My response? "Stop taking us to gay bars, Elizabeth, and this won't happen!"

So yeah. Maybe it is white privilege that lets me wander around a Middle Eastern grocery in the poor part of Memphis (I haven't tried that baklava yet... this will be my third try. I keep hoping for the nirvana others talk about. Damn that stuff is rich!) um where was I going?

Happy Black History Month, ya'll!

I'm not going to the Civil Rights Museum because I cry and cry when I go, though I stop to gape at the conspiracies surrounding James Earl Ray (something ain't kosher, but still) and then continue crying. I don't know why.

I also cried during a video about the design of the Vietnam War memorial, but that was last semester which was an emotional roller coaster, so it may not count. But when I think of the memorial - of going there old enough to appreciate it - I start getting teary. And I lost no one in the fight.

Ugh.

I hate being from Memphis.

Principal Outs 2 Gay Students

I heard this on the news preview, but the Daily Show is on!

Anyways, the story is icky, icky, icky!

Even without the whole outing thing, the principal wanted a list of couples in the school to MONITOR THEM and prevent PDAs.

PDAs??? That's the big problem at a MEMPHIS HIGH SCHOOL?!

I love October.

Halloween candy and scary movies are a part of it, of course, but that's not all.

This week, the weather started its yearly turn from "late summer" to full-fledged fall. Went to bed Wednesday night overheated (11 pm - I am a wild child) and woke up Thursday morning at 7 something (8 am class, ech), turned on the weather channel (the window tells me if the sun is up), and while waiting for my local on the 8s, saw the temperature by the time. 52 degrees.

In the fifties!

Scrap those plans for shorts, eh?

Thursday and Friday, I wore pants and flip-flops (I swear I have tan lines from my school pair) and sweated a bit in the 70s afternoons.

Today? Shorts all the way for walking. I wasn't overheated, but I wasn't shivering.

Memphis loves summer, whether the people like it or not, and fall/winter do not come easily. They have to fight. There will be some nights over the next few weeks when no one gets sleep because of tornado watches which may go to warnings at any moment.

That sounds melodramatic, but it's a fact of life.

So the weather will bounce around - sometimes on a daily basis - pants and a coat for the 8 am class, shorts and a tank top for the 11:20.

Thursday night, I was outside, and the cool/cold air and the dark just brought back so many memories. Not of Halloween, surprisingly enough. Halloween's always been a tossup, it's never been consistent - some years you're in heavy winter coats, other times you're barefoot. No clear memory.

But the later holidays... ah... Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's in Tipton County with fireworks.

I love cold weather, and we're fixing to get nice and cold... after Halloween.

St. Patrick's Day will probably be the end of it, sadly.

The other part of October?

The World Series!

The Evil Empire's been defeated, we've gone to extra innings, the Sox have scored in the double digits, and on and on.

Thursday night I also remembered the last fall games of the season - the bright neighborhood, lit up oddly by the stadium lights, and that tink! of bat and ball.

That is baseball to me - that one noise.

I love me some World Series, don't get me wrong, but I remember these gut busting hilarious games this summer in Florida between the Marlins and the Cards.

The stands were pretty empty, and you could hear this little group of hecklers, it was awesome.

And of course, that tink!

During the World Series and the Division Series and the Championship Series the stadiums are packed and the announcers love to talk.

I love baseball.



Also - on my October walk today I got my Memphis library card! The library is awesomely close to the dorm, and well, Jasper Fforde has a new book! (2 actually, I missed the sequel to the first Nursery Crimes)

And I own Stephen Colbert's book! It was only $18.99 because of an automatic 30% discount. Go figure. He made me break my hardback rule - I generally wait for new books to come out in paperback (I try) before buying (library reading is fine), but hey, the glory that is Colbert deserves hardback.

But not at $26.99.

Bottom of the 9th, Game 2 of the ALCS, tied 6-6 - the Sox will win.

I have a job!

Almost.

I have to pass the test next week - get at least 70 questions right out of 100. It will be a review of what I learned this week.

My first paying job - house/dog sitting doesn't count for the IRS or resume purposes.

I'm so excited and so damn nervous and terrified.

I'll be working to the Phonathon.

My job is calling alumni and asking for pledges and updating their contact information - address, job, phone number, living status. Most of the people I'll talk to won't be able to give more than 3 figures, but that's okay.

Every pledge does matter, and that's something I now believe, not just what I must repeat to keep my job.

The hours are 5:30pm to 9pm - aren't they great? 3 hours after my latest class, and early enough for sleep (Daily Show and Colbert Report).

I must work 3 nights - and I've picked Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. We're only work Sunday through Thursday - less chance of grown-up alumni being out partying.

My first training session was tonight from 5:30 to 9pm, officially. I got there around 5 and left at 9:15.

I was nauseous all day, and my upper back has been hurting for the last couple days, probably because of nerves, since I'm not doing anything different.

I was terrified at first, with all the responsibility laid out. But then I realized I don't have to do this, even though I said I'd do work-study, I don't need the money now because of all my scholarship and financial aid. Also, since we were there more than 3 hours, we had time to get comfortable with the idea, at least I did. Unlike my classes in a week, this was and will be much longer, and part of the eek of the first day/week of school is the fact that it's about an hour spent in the class - with everything thrown at you at once, and no time that day to adjust to it - with the teacher.

I had so much fun.

I told my boss (Assistant Director) that I was an evil robot who wanted to take over the world, not that I'd tell him if I was in the first place. (One of the rules of calling people - don't be a robot on the phone.)

My ideas for why people would give were all sinister - I blame Law & Order reruns all summer. I said to hide money, like say to pay for killing a guy. He said that wasn't realistic, he wouldn't think of that after killing a man for money. I also said people wouldn't give us money because the Grizzlies didn't make it... Oh, we're the Tigers. Whoops. (What reasons could there be not to donate? The number one reason, that nobody guessed, is death. Of the alumni.)

He mentioned the Red Sox, and I said, "You're supposed to be a Mariners fan." (Earlier, he'd said he was raised in Seattle. That's part of the job, too, at world series time. Unless I'm calling a New Yorker, who knows if they like the Mets or the Yankees? They're Tigers, they're decent people, they like the Mets.)

He said he liked the Cubs, and I said, "Oh, I'm so sorry."

That got a laugh.

I had a lot of fun.

I can't wait.

And I'm moving in Thursday and meeting my roommate. (We've e-mailed and talked on the phone.)

And classes start in less than a week.

How did I get to this place? I don't recall summer asking my permission to end!



I know how I got to the training session point - only half of the applicants make it this far, and over 75 have applied for the fall semester. They need to know that you can do this job and do it well.

Anyways, we sent in paper application, then had to phone interview. The genius that I am, I set my appointment for last Monday the same day I got called by the people for the first time - my logic was, get it out of the way as soon as possible. I mispronounced some words, and even though I tried to make it my own, I followed the script in some places, and I felt myself screw up the pacing and inflection of my voice in regards to a sentence thanks to a misplaced comma.

But I've still almost got the job.

The interviewer (the AD that's training us) wouldn't confirm or deny it, but I know.

One of the reasons listed to give money included research - giving us money to continue old research and start new projects. Well, I know we have an earthquake research facility - I've seen the building, and there was a book about an earthquake here that mentioned it. So, I told the "prospect" that if he didn't give me $50 or $25 (forgot most of it after I did it) Memphis and the University would end up in the Mississippi because we'd have to close our research center.

When I did the interview, I said that I knew I couldn't do that during an actual call.

And when I called again about directions to the training, I said,"Did the earthquake play a part?" He laughed and said he couldn't say.

Then at the training session, he said don't threaten the alumni with acts of God. And he didn't know it was me that did the earthquake, since he handled 60+ interviews in a 2 week period, but he did remember some odd interviews, including the threat.

As to its effectiveness, I said I wanted to be remembered. Again, he didn't know it was me. "But I'm here tonight, aren't I?"

This is SO not fair.

Or right.

School doesn't start til the 27th, I can still transfer to the University of New Mexico. I've got family in Albuquerque. Classes start at UNM tomorrow, which could be a problem.

What's not fair? All UNM students can ride all city buses for free! Thanks to the Lobo Ride Pass.


I have to pay $28 for 21 rides! As a college student!


And the regular adult fare is "I'll-Be-Quirky" is only one dollar, fifty cents less than here.

Like I've said before, MATA couldn't suck more if the buses were replaced with vacuums.

Most cities with buses have monthly passes for regular commuters, including Albuquerque.

Elvis fans are bizarrely stupid.

No, not because some believe he's not dead (I swear I saw him on channel 48!), or because I don't like gospel music (I've never really listened.), or I'm ashamed of all people who make it big and make a presence in the area afterwards (Justin Timberlake does a couple of concerts here - whatever.).

No, what I can't fathom is Elvis Week.

I get memorials, I get a pilgrimage, a gathering.

What I don't get is why.

Not why they do it, but why they do it now.

In August.

In Memphis.

Especially this year!

He was born in January, less people die from the cold here than the heat!

And when I was about to say this to my mom, she told me that an Elvis fan had died from the heat. I'm so sorry for her and everyone who's been touched by the heat (not your yard), but come on!

Why come to Memphis in August? It doesn't make sense to Memphians.

Especially compared to the media coverage of his birthday - not much. The King would be blah blah.

That's when this thought usually occurs to me.

I don't like the cult of Elvis, period.

I love some of his songs, I may even buy a few CDs, but I won't go to Graceland. Maybe it's because I live here? I don't know.

Again, my deepest sympathies to anyone who's been hurt by the heat.

Something else Elvis related - there's not a station in town that plays his music on a regular, day-to-day basis.

There is one station that plays oldies going as far back as the early 60s, but it's out of Mississippi, and it's hard to get, even in Memphis! Sad, that there is no station that plays music from Elvis or when he was a big star. (My music list may not entirely show my love for music older than myself.)

Irony on B1

There's a sidebar article about the heat.

It's not a pointless heat article, we really are breaking records. The expected high today is 104 - plus humidity.

The triple digits started Friday and are expected to stop Thursday, however, the humidity is here to stay, which pushes the heat index above 100, so it will feel just as bad.

One thing I haven't understood about this heat is the low temperature of the day. It was 66 degrees this morning right around sunrise.

I thought that much difference between temperatures in one day would lead to rain, but it hasn't.

When it started, it wouldn't go below 80 all night.

The irony comes in the description of today.

Not the temperature, but what today is.

It's the first day of school for Shelby County and Memphis.

The sentence says that it will be 104 today, "as schools reopen for the fall."

The new hate crime bill is bad for God.

At least for Memphis pastors.

If it passes, they can't preach against homosexuality, the worst sin there was and ever will be.

The first time I saw this in the Commercial Appeal, one pastor said that homosexuals shouldn't get special rights, and this gives them that. Homosexuals shouldn't have the right to adopt, get married, or not get killed or attacked for their sexuality.

I call bullshit.

Race and religion based attacks fall under hate crime, yet bigots can still freely speak.

I mean, duh.

And, come to find out, it's in the writing of the bill that sermons about homosexuality are protected as free speech.

So where's the problem?

MATA

The Memphis Area Transit Authority is messed up.

They control the trolleys and buses in the area, and the buses are supposedly pretty regular and stick to their schedule, and there are 3 stops around the U of M campus.

And the website features a trip planner - telling you which buses to take to get from here to there. That's awesome. There is a stop about 5 miles from my home (closest one) and there are definitely stops by my doctors' offices.

However, they offer no monthly or yearly or any kind of passes based on time, not rides. The best is a 21 ride pass that costs $28! And an adult fare is $1.50!

That's it, it bugs me, and as of right now, I have no way to change that. I need to use the bus to get to the doctor, and I like riding in a bus.

I loved the bus system in Vancouver, Washington. I only paid $18 for a monthly pass, because of my age. But for adults, they're only $44. The adult fare per ride is $1.25, not better than Memphis, but there are passes.

I really have no way to wrap this up. MATA is hurting itself by not selling monthly passes, that's all there is to it.

Mikey and his Cones 2

Poor duddles.

It's off today, since Mom is at work and when she's gone he curls up in a ball and sleeps the day away, unless he gets to go on a walk.

Now, I think we have a picture of the stitches and such, but I won't post them.

However, Saturday night, two of Becky's guy friends came over, and conehead couldn't jump on them so he grumped by Mom. She picked him up and showed off the swelling, bruising, and general owieness of it all. Why? To keep them from having a girlfriend in high school, as they are too, too young - 15 or 16.

Sunday morning, he went outside with Mom to help her do whatever it was she was doing, and it was so windy he got picked up, he had no control over his body.

Poor dudders.

I gave him one benadryl this morning with his antibiotic, as we only have one pain tablet left, and I think the itching is a problem as much as the pain. And, it should make him sleepy enough to leave them alone.

He goes back next Monday to get the stitches removed. All but one of Wickett's had already been pulled out by Wickett, so let's see how Conehead does.

Wickett was so funny after the surgery - no cone, though. He'd wake up after sleeping on the couch, jump down, take a few steps, then drop his booty to the floor. "Oh, it's still swollen."

He was so cute.

Mikey's an idiot with the cone on.

If he's walking, and the cone touches anything he must stop. And we must rescue him. He's only gotten stuck a couple times, he just thinks he's stuck.

The cone also has an advantage - it's flea season. No worries about bites while putting it on, though since we're putting it on all 3 dogs tomorrow and throwing them out all day since all the humans will be gone, he won't have the cone on. Mom's worried about how many ways Captain Idiot can get stuck if unsupervised.

It cost $20, but we needed it because he is the man. His wang was so huge, his balls as big as the moon, the surgery was so drastic, of course, he'll be picking on them.

Actually, it has more to do with his age (he'll be 5 this summer!) and general orneriness.

Speaking of ornery dogs, Becky's friend brought over her two month old jet black pit, Memphis, Saturday night. Memphis doesn't need a leash, she knows how to sit, she knows how to shake - with both paws! (I warned her that it would lead to slapping later on, but she said Memphis already does this.)

I wanted to trade Wickett for Memphis, but no.

They're going to breed her - only with pure pits - but I bet a lab/pit would be gorgeous or a chow/pit. Labs mix well with others, and I love chows.

Anyways, Memphis is shy around other dogs, but had no problem demanding attention from me, mom, and Becky.

But Memphis is a pit, so she's automatically dangerous and could be outlawed and put down. Or her legal owners (Becky's friend's parents) would have to pay for an expensive insurance policy for their "dangerous" dog.

Mikey and Wickett are more likely to bite you than Memphis. Wickett was in Mom's arms when Memphis came over, screaming his head off. (I wanted to trade Memphis for Wickett - they're both black, and about the same size, but Memphis will get bigger.)

Mikey may have been abused before we got him, and Wickett's just a crab monkey and he did not have run of the house and the boobs at his first owner's home (they wanted to breed him!).

A poodle mix is more dangerous than a pure pit, at least in this situation. But who gets in trouble? The innocent pit. (Mikey only bites Becky, Wickett, and me.)

Chows are higher on the danger list, but they're not subject to all this speculation like pits are. Dixie's an angel, of course, as are all the chows and chow mixes I have met.

Some dogs are crab monkeys (Wickett). They do have their own personalities, you know.

But a dangerous dog is made dangerous by its human owner.

The Commercial Appeal ran a section a couple Sundays ago all about pit bulls in the Memphis area. It made me cry. The last picture was an innocent pit about to be put down because she'd been used as bait in dog fights. When she got put down, that was the only time she saw love, she got hugged as the poison put her to sleep.

Breeding and selling pits is a lucrative business, and most end up in dog fights. The humans involved get a slap on the wrist, and the dog gets put down - which it should be, it's only known a life of misery.

This was sparked by the story of a Memphis man who lost his hand to a pit.

So now, people who have negative experience with pits want to ban them, while those with positive experiences want to go after the people, not the dogs.

And, like someone said, if you ban pits, the people that do this will just move onto another breed.

I hope Memphis tightens animal cruelty laws and leaves innocent pits like Memphis out of this.

The Tigers are in the Elite Eight!

For the second year in a row, according to the liberal media, but I actually saw the last few moments, so I know the truth and the truthiness.

They're playing Ohio State on Saturday. It would have been awesome if the University of Tennessee had won that game! (By one point, which is how many points Texas A&M was behind at the end. Close, close games.) My sister said people had on Tennessee pants and Memphis shirts yesterday.

The bet for my crazy family was that they'd go to school(work) tomorrow if the Tigers won. So after the game, mom called her friend and coworker and said, "I'm coming in tomorrow."

Mom works at a high school with a bunch of high school idiots, but nobody that she saw had blue hair.

Becky is sick, which was sort of inevitable. It's allergy season and the temperature's bouncing. Becky *achoo* swears *achoo* that *achoo* she [take the damn benadryl!] has no allergies, but cotton fluff fluffering about irritates almost everyone, myself included.

Lucky for me, two benadryl, a sudafed PE, and a chloraseptic lozenge work wonders in the morning. We finally turned the AC on last night since it was in the '80s and they'd do anything to shut up Hot-flash-having-apathetic-about-basketball girl.

"The game starts at 6! You'll have to watch the Simpsons in the study!"

Okay.

I took some dinner back there and came out at a commercial break to get more, and what do you know? The basketball game on CBS has the exact same commercial on at the same time as the Simpsons on CW!

That was their story.

The Simpsons was pretty good - the one where Bart got an elephant. Someone at SNPP said it was too outlandish, but I thought, watching it, that it made as much sense as anything else. Bart's a nut. Offered ten thousand dollars or an elephant, he takes the elephant. Wouldn't you?

No.

But Bart did.


As for blue-haired Becky, she got taken to the principal's office almost as soon as she got off the bus yesterday. The lady who took her there kept saying that she was violating the dress code, and Becky just said she'd dyed her hair blue earlier in the school year and no one said boo. The principal sided with Becky (no, she didn't magically become a tenured teacher, she's still in 10th grade, shocking, I know) and said that it wasn't against dress code.

But it probably will be next year.

I'm rereading Wicked by Gregory Maguire. I think I've read this more often than I've watched the Wizard of Oz, but probably not as often as I've read The Wizard of Oz. My mom's mom sent it to us, it was my mom's back in the days of dinosaurs (she was born in Roswell, people! who knows what the government does in the New Mexico desert. Only the shadow puppy knows and I threw him outside.) and now it's mine. I've only read it more because I've had it longer.

Wicked draws from both the book and the movie. The movie, well, the color of her skin. I'm sure it would have been in the original book if she'd been green.

Some things about the Wizard of Oz movie - it's been said before, but I'll say it again. The "good fairy" was just mean in the movie, making her go to the Emerald City when she could have gone straight home. And, I forgot who said this, sorry. It wasn't a sappy movie, it didn't have a happy ending. Crazy Lady was still going to take away Toto the next day! (Wickett's been compared to Toto - black, little, in my bike basket yelling at everyone.)

I wish the movie had stayed truer to the book. You know they cut it in half? Glinda didn't rescue her in the Emerald City, she had to keep going.

My US History teacher used the Wizard of Oz movie as a metaphor for the Great Depression, saying the symbolism in the movie was put in to make the country feel better (symbol - yellow brick road=money). I asked, "How can it be about the Great Depression if it was written at the turn of last century?" The general answer was "just play along, we're talking about the movie, don't confuse everyone."

Our test over the Great Depression was like every other test - I missed one or two of the multiple choice or fill in the blank, but did more than the 2 essay(paragraph) questions required, so my scores were always at least 100. And I did the essay question about the Wizard of Oz, I think comparing the poppies as an obstacle to Emerald City to alcohol and drugs as an obstacle to fiscal solvency, or something.

My History and English teacher my junior year are to blame for my confidence in my writing skills. I got an A+ on my History paper. (Minimum 4 pages, and I turned in 8 and a half. He told me that I failed, because I'd asked if it could be more than the minimum and he sighed and said, "You can turn in a 10 page paper." Since it wasn't 10 pages, darn! The reason I asked was because our English research papers could only be so long, she wanted us to do the basics, she didn't want to grade 10 page papers. 2 was enough.) And my English one she wanted to use as an example for later classes.

We had to keep a History journal, with a question about the lesson almost every day that we had to answer before learning the information. Our journals were graded weekly, and except for one or two times, I got 100s the whole way - his handwriting was worse than mine. I like to read through it now, almost 2 years later, for an ego boost. "Look! Someone who went to college to teach things thinks I'm smart!"

I didn't get the highest grade on the final, because it was scantron, no chance for creativity. Poo. But I still aced the class merrily, and enjoyed his semester discussion class the next year as a senior (again with the journals). And he told me there were kids as good as I was when it came to retaining knowledge, but no one quite at my rhetorical level.

What.

I don't fit the beauty scene, I don't fit the social scene, the one thing I do fit and adore, I'm good at! Or I was.

And I will be.

"Small, discussion based classes." Describing what I get in the Honors Program because I'm not an ordinary student, I deserve more than an ordinary class. (The dogs didn't get the significance of this either.)

Like one of my message board friends pointed out, some of the classes would be better if I was on pain meds. Ha!

Seriously, I will be better.

Not 100%, I don't have '10 years'(that's how long some women have suffered from endometriosis before discovering that no, it was really a bowel problem, according to my doctor. He's really great, though, a pain specialist and a gyn. Who has no answers, because he doesn't even know the right questions.), but I am hoping for at least more than 50% of the pain gone.

I'll take up voodoo in July, let you know how it turns out, surely I can transfer the pain to someone deserving?

On one of the help pages "how to get your blog read", one of the tips is keep it short.



I say Ack!!! Thppppth!!!! to that.


It's my blog, for my pleasure, and I can fire a commenter for not being loyal to Dixie, but I won't say that under oath and you can't get a transcript of it.*


*That should lead to kicking the Republicans out of the executive branch more than the wiretaps, torture, the catastrofuck of the war, leaking names, turning us into a Christian theocracy (much better than a Muslim one), and No Child Left Behind. (Most educators loathe NCLB, which doesn't help them, it only continues the stereotype that they're liberal commies. NCLB is just part of getting the rich, deserving kids into private schools and giving everyone else vouchers to save them from the horrors of public schools that are held accountable to the community, if the community gives a damn.)

I mean really. His advisors won't swear to tell the truth and we'll have no evidence of the meeting? Do they still tape everything? Instead of 18 minutes missing, I'd say 6 years would be missing from those.

This shows that he thinks he's above the people, he or his office shouldn't be held accountable for his/its actions. A Republican congress led the impeachment against Clinton, why won't the Democrats do the same? Yes, it is a lack of backbone - impeach the president? During the war on terror? Are you mad? We'll be accused of treason by Ann Coulter.

Ann Coulter!

And possibly Sean Hannity!

We can't chance that.

But it's also the fact that besides Zell Miller challenging Chris Matthews to a duel (I wish he'd slapped him with a glove, like Stephen Colbert did to Jon Stewart while reporting on it - Indecision 2004 DVD, so awesome), the democratic congresspeople aren't as angry and vicious, and have stoned academics backing them.

There was a bit in the paper yesterday comparing Vietnam protests almost 40 years ago to the Iraq protests of today. It said something that is so true - there's no draft. Back then, apparently, you knew at least one person who was over there, and if you were a guy, there was this chance you'd go.

Now that it's all volunteer, college students aren't in danger of flunking out and being drafted, no one is going there against their will - officially. You sign up for the National Guard, to protect the area in case of a storm, and now you're going to Iraq for the second time in 4 years. (Our local one.) They change the rules, allowing those with tattoos that show beyond the dress uniform and those with mental illnesses such as depression or autism.

Pardon me while I vomit.

Don't tell me women don't like sports.

There are 3 women in this house.

2 of them are cheering and shouting at the TV because the U of M Tigers are points behind or points ahead or whatever.

I like playing basketball where I'm by myself, throwing whatever basketball has been left in our front yard by Becky's friend at our netless hoop.

That's about it.

I'm going to the U of M in less than 6 months, I can't do the "Woooooh!" *clap clap clap* that Becky just did, but maybe I can wear blue in March.

I hate all sports on tv besides baseball, which is so nice, because it's so ... soothing, no clock to worry about, yes, it can be 'boring', but that's part of its charm.

Football and basketball require a lot of shouting and gesturing, if my mom and sister are any indication.

I'm going outside with Dixie - all this shouting is confusing her, she thinks something important is going on.

Becky dyed her hair blue for today. This is not the first time.

And it won't be the last.

Do students in the University of Memphis Honors program watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

Yes, they do.

At least one does.

Me!

I qualify for the Cecil C. Humphries Presidential Scholarship. That comes with $7500 a year, apparently enough to cover most of my expenses, since I am in-state. And there's still financial aid out there.

The letter came yesterday, I was so happy. They sent a copy as well, because you have to send it back by May 1st, 2007, or you won't get the money.

Too bad checkmarks, signatures, and dates can't show my excitement.

That's all - I had to check yes, sign, and date the letter. My score on the ACT (30) and my GPA (3.7) were all they needed.

Along with the scholarship offer (like I'd turn it down? Ha!) came another application - an application for the Honors Program. A brochure came as well - small, discussion based classes and the Honors Program Residence Area. I don't know if Honors housing applies to freshmen or not, but damn! The honors application? Just basic info like my name, address, and social security number. No essay, you get the application because you qualify.

Yay!

I love learning.

And I have the money to do so.

All that's required to keep the money is a 2.75 GPA my first year, and a 3.0 the other 3. And 150 hours of volunteer work each academic year.

I already volunteer, and I love learning and I'm pretty smart, if I can brag here.

I can't wait!

Yesterday, I had to keep telling myself, "It's only March, it's only March."

It also comes with $1000 for foreign exchange.

However, there is a dark side to it. Students have been told throughout high school, do not apply for a scholarship that costs money - scholarships are free.

Well, this one wasn't.

Ignoring the $40 application for the university fee and the postage to send in said application, this still cost some serious money.

I had to type up a summary and explanation for why I didn't go to school. That was 3 pages of computer paper. Then I had to mail that in. And I put on 2 stamps, just in case, so that's 78 cents right there.

And when the offer came, I had to send it back in an envelope, with another stamp.

This scholarship cost me $1.17.

For shame.

Some irony in the paper

Sometimes I get it in my head to read each section of the paper, and yesterday evening was one of those times. I skipped the sports, though, I always do. And I made it through all but one page of business. And I skipped the main article in the M section, but! I read the first 2 sections entirely.


Of course, I'm referring to them labeling Bill Gates as Robert Gates! What a knee-slapper! Actually, it was silly because it was a bit on Bill Gates supporting more immigrants, and we know how the Bush Administration feels about that.

No, what I'm talking about is even more obscure.

I always get a kick out of reading the 'Memphis Memories' in the B section.

The shocking piece was from one hundred years ago, 1907. Brace yourself. I read it to Dixie and she hasn't spoken a single word since! Just a warning, for the faint of heart.

Apparently, in Annapolis, The Naval Athletic Association spent $4,598 to maintain the Naval Acadamey's football team, and that amount is more than half the total expenses for the year for all sports! Try to contain yourself, readers. Most of the people involved are now dead, and institutions of education and their supporters have stopped spending so much and placing so much emphasis on sports. It's 2007, after all.

Wait, I just got a bulletin, no they haven't. The Memphis Tigers are still important to the school and the area, and Memphis Mayor Willie Hereton doesn't like them playing at Memphis landmarks. The basketball team used to play in the Pyramid. When the Grizzlies came to town, a new court was in order, the FedEx Forum. Which looks like every other damn 'forum' in the world. And the Stones were there in 2005 and I didn't get to go. And I remember the reason people were pissed about the Grizzlies and the Forum, beyond the money, was one of their conditions of play - nobody else can play when they're playing at home. But it was mostly the money.

Well now, the Mayor (appointed by God, he claimed a couple years ago. I just read the Big Book of the Unexplained, and 'God', or what created/controls the world, is called the Cosmic Trickster. I like that. And if God's a Cosmic Trickster, than sure she/he/it would appoint Willie Herenton and George Bush.) wants to build a new football stadium, because the Liberty Bowl isn't good enough to attract a football franchise, and that's what Memphis needs to get people to move here and care about us. Not improving schools, fighting crime, getting rid of corruption in office, but a new football stadium.

The Pyramid may be sold to Bass Pro Shops. Which means we lose the Wonder Series. I can't find a link for it, there used to be a page, but when the Pyramid closed, they must have taken it down. They didn't bring enough money. At least we still have the Pink Palace. (The wax people scare me, but you get to walk through a replica of the first Piggly Wiggly!)

Actually, the thing in the paper I meant to write about happened after the Naval Athletic Associated spent $4,598 on football.

75 years ago: 1932
Mrs. G.T. Fitzhugh, Mrs. J.W. Monks, Mrs. Hugh S. Hayley, Mrs. D.B. Puryear, Mrs. George Wellons, and Mrs. P.J. Hackett yesterday were elected officers of the Memphis and Shelby County Democratic Women's Victory Club.

Read that again. "the Memphis and Shelby County Democratic Women's Victory Club." What are the last three words? "Women's Victory Club." It was the Women's Club. And yet they were still identified by their husbands' names, unless Mrs. Hayley was unlucky enough to named Hugh, and Mrs. Wellons was not the boy her parents expected.

....


I thought it was funny.

Memphis Humane Society and Turning Our Dogs Into Cyborgs

All three of our dogs are officially cyborgs.

Wickett got his microchip inserted while he was sedated during his surgery. He got neutered last week. Mikey was supposed to, but the blood test revealed he was anemic. (3 points below normal) So Mikey has to get a nightly dose of 3mLs of liquid iron via syringe. First, we tried to inject it directly into his mouth. That worked a couple days, but when he spit and got it all over my clothes. Then we did a hot dog. Did fine. One night, Becky made rice, and we used that. Ate it up. So now, I'm using white bread, ripped into pieces. Wickett had to be on amoxicillin twice a day, 1 mL, same trials, but his is finally done. His stitches come out Monday. He's still all man - humped Mikey, fought Mikey, yelled at everyone, and peed on the football in the backyard.

Mikey won't be after his, because he's a weenie period. But that's Mikey.

So Mikey didn't get a microchip, because it's easier to do when they're knocked out, and they just decided to wait.

Friday's paper included the pet column, which mentioned the new Memphis Humane Society location, which I never got a chance to tour. It said it would be open from 10 to 2, and they'd be microchipping dogs for $15.

Whoa! We had to be there.

The microchips are from Home Again ID, and you have to register with them after filling out forms at the vet and the Humane Society. It sounds awesome - if they're lost without their collars, which include ID tags with their name and our number and city, and taken to a vet, they can be scanned and we'll get our brats back.

The microchips were $15 or $32.50. For $15, when a dog is scanned, the Humane Society will be called. Then the Humane Society will contact the owners. For $32.50, it goes straight to you.

So the choice was obvious for us. $30 bucks to microchip both rather than $30 each.

I want to tell you about the day, it was fun.

It started at 9:30 when I finally got out of bed. We wanted to leave at 9:30 so we wouldn't have to wait so long in line.

So we left around 10:15, because we had to clear out all of the junk in the backseat, like CDs and sunglasses, and books...

My cousin Jessica went with my mom and I, so Becky and Natasha could have fun without Jessica around. (Natasha's birthday is Sunday.) And so we'd have a third hand if needed.

Mom and Jessica rode up front, and the barrier that makes the front seat a 2 seater was up, making it a 3 seater, and locking Dixie in the back seat, until we got to the Humane Society, when she lept over it, and I had to grab her.

I rode in the back, which was a mistake, because Dixie wanted both windows to look out of. So back and forth, the entire 30 minute ride. Most of the ride was not stop and go, so Mikey could hop from front to back with abandon. He hates car rides, but always gets in. He usually curls up in the backseat and cries. He couldn't, because Dixie stepped on him.

When we got into stop and go traffic, Mikey continued his jumping. Well, he was climbing, about to do it, and Mom hit the brakes. Ker-thunk goes Captain Stupid. Just onto the seat, no damage to a brain that doesn't exist in the first place. He shakes his head often so hard, his ears flop everywhere, and it doesn't hurt. Little brain, surrounded and protected by a cushion. Like a woodpecker, but uglier.

You know it.

Then the next time, Dixie decides to move, and knocks him down. Poor little idiot.


Finally get there, long line outside, cars parked along the road, we had to park in the grass. We got there around 10:45, and the line was so long.

We got out and discovered another thing - the weather jerks were right. It was cold. And windy. The past week it's been windy, but warm - 60s and 70s. Today, 40s and 50s. They were right! How were we supposed to know?

We all had pants on, but Jessica was the only in socks and shoes. I had my Rolling Stones flipflops on, and mom had her black Crocs on. Not a jacket between us.

We got back in the car at 12:45.

2 hours! In the cold! For $15 dollar microchips.



Oh well.

But it was so much fun, I saw so many pretty dogs. The group in front of us was Basset hounds. One was full grown, the other a 4 month old baby with too much ear and a high pitched basset howl. Behind us were Pembroke Corgis, very adorable, very rotten, they got picked up a couple times.

Our surroundings were good, because the immediate dogs by Dixie, who does not like strange dogs, were small enough not to be a threat or scare her. They were also big enough not to be yippy idiots, like Mikey and Wickett.

Mikey spent most of the time on Mom's boobs, by the way. Pathetic. He was shaved, and miserable.

At one point, he was up, looking behind mom at the three Corgis who were also being held. But he was still taller than them, so he was better. Of course.

I tried to trade Mikey and Dixie for the Basset puppy, Tucker, but the owner said no. I wanted all the dogs I saw, but mom said we'd have to get rid of the ones we had. Parents.

When we got in, Mom had to fill out more forms and pay the people, so I took Dixie into the hallway that led to the area where people were taking tours. And just comforted her.

There was more than one shot station - that's all it is - a large shot with a microchip inside.

Ours was in a little room. Which was great. Mikey got his on the table, and they let me shut the door for Dixie's. She didn't squirm as much about the shot, more the strangers, so I stayed in her face.

When it was over, I walked out with Dixie, yelling, "PANIC DOG! PANIC DOG! PANIC DOG!" Everyone else before us had come out quietly. There were too many people and too many dogs, and Dixie needed her space. It got them out of my way.

On the ride home, I rode up front, so the dogs stayed in the back. They curled up and slept most of the time, but about half way through, Dixie decided to lick each back window, so Mikey had to get up, as he got stepped on.

Poor baby.

Random nuggets -

• This little kid, about 2, was so popular with the Corgis and most of the dogs. He had candy, and he was a baby, and most dogs know that little person equals food. It was so cute.
• I said, "Wow, all the breeds are here." Then I looked at Dixie and said, "Right here in my hands." That got a laugh and some kid asked me if she was chow. Yup. Part.
• Young kids wanted to pet Dixie, and they followed the doggie rules- ask the owner first. And they did. One started to pet her head, and I said, no, pet her side. Kid's Mom backed me up. When I decided to walk around with Dixie while Mom and Jess waited in line, an adult just reached down to pet her. I said no and kept walking.
• On my little solo walk, I picked up 2 bones from the Commercial Appeal's table. Dixie didn't want hers, so I gave it to the puppy. Mikey wanted his, and kept it in his mouth for about ten minutes, until Mom put him down. Then he spit it out and peed. And hammed it up, walking on two legs, king of the poodle mops.

It was great 2 hours, and it took more than 15 minutes to get feeling in my fingers.

The things we do for the dogs.

I love Stephen Colbert.

I love the Colbert Report.

It and the Daily Show make for a perfect hour of television, Monday through Thursday nights.

One of the things I adore about the Report is the "Better Know a District" segments. I know he uses them to make fun of the Democratic representatives, but it really is an interesting segment. And I love his enthusiasm about it - slowly filling in that map, I hope he stays on the air long enough to fill it entirely.

I saw in the paper today - Memphis representative Steve Cohen filmed one Friday. They don't know when it will air, and he will come off as a terrorist loving commie, but it will be funny.

And I know Memphis is a big city, but it doesn't seem to exist that much on tv, and I love mentions of it.

And I don't even live there, Cohen's not my representative, if you think I'm telling you who is, you're out of your mind.

But yay! Memphis! On the Colbert Report!

I'm so excited.

Tennessee doesn't get much mention either, though we got some attention last November. (Can't believe Corker won, grumble grumble.)

As for Cohen, there were claims, during the primaries, that there were phone polls of democratic voters in the district, asking if you'd want to be represented by someone who didn't accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior. I don't remember if it was ever confirmed, but it's still disturbing.

The Commercial Appeal (Memphis's only daily paper) has a website, but to read articles, one must register - and not for free, so screw them.