Adventures in Procrastination

I have a rough draft to do for English that I will finish as soon as I finish this blog post. Swear on my copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. (Hey, you know what would be a good idea? If I walked over to the bookstore and got the paperback omnibus edition, I never liked only having it in hardback. ::slap::)

Moving on.

I used to get the Commercial Appeal on a daily basis or a Wednesday through Sunday basis. Sometimes I only got it on Sunday because I hiked 5 miles uphill to get it (just for the TV guide). Comics were not my main priority. Oh sure, I had some Far Side books here, some Dilbert books there, and too many Garfields. And Bloom County!

Somehow, I got hooked on comics. It was before I got hooked on sites like the Comics Curmudgeon, though that didn't help matters, since he got me hooked on soap strips, which the CA, in one of its rare bursts of wisdom, doesn't carry. (They have For Better or For Worse and Luann, two that mix the soap and gag-a-day styles with varying degrees of success.)

I know when and why I started reading comics online. I don't mean comics like This Modern World or Tom the Dancing Bug, since I never saw them in the paper, and I don't think they're carried in dailies. TMW is in the free weekly The Memphis Flyer, but that's it.

The first comic I read online that was carried in a daily paper is Pearls Before Swine. The CA stopped running Cathy Monday through Saturday, and replaced it with PBS. Unfortunately, they thought we still needed a weekly Cathy dose, so I had to find my Sunday PBS online.\

Now I'm a cool 21st century college student and I do not have a subscription to the paper. Mom and Beck don't care - the news is everywhere, as is the TV guide. And comics aren't important.

But they are to me.

One of the greatest comic websites is the one provided by the Houston Chronicle. Their archives go back years, and you can create your own page, just with the comics you want to look at. However, it doesn't work on Sunday, despite the fact that a little address manipulating will bring you that day's strip. (Only with the color comics.)

So.

Awesome.

However, there are six daily comics not at the Chron site that I love. (I'm sure there are more, give me time.) Arlo & Janis, Candorville, Jump Start, Ripley's Believe It or Not!, the New Adventures of Queen Victoria, and Lio.

These six are the easiest part of my Sunday comics experience, since they are at the top of my favorites. The one at the Chron site, not so much, because I have to look up the black and white ones. (Too lazy and don't really want them in my favorites. I'm sure there are easier ways.)

Some Sundays, I will look for the Sunday edition of every daily comic. Usually when I'm procrastinating, not just bored. One of these that I only rarely glance at today is Herb and Jamaal. It is a very boring comic with lame jokes, but I don't hate it. The lame people are black, so it is a special comic.

I'm getting to my point.

I read Candorville first today, as usual. What is unusual is that one late night, the official site had not updated, dammit. So I replaced my link with this one, which updates at midnight (or maybe 11?) my time.

I saw this, got a kick out of it, and went on. Then I read today's H and J. That's right - it's the same joke. I know that sometimes this happens, comics will use the same joke on the same day. Sometimes it's on purpose, other times just a coincidence.

I visited the official Candorville site, looking for an explanation. And scrolled right past it. D'oh!

If I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have e-mailed Darrin Bell, the creator of Candorville, and he wouldn't have replied to me. So there.

Well now I know. And it is awesome. Cartoonists of Color are uniting today by using variations of the same joke to protest how their work is seen. They're all seen as interchangeable, identical, because they feature minority characters. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.

Which is just not true. Curtis is a great strip, no matter how tired the jokes and themes get, because the art is phenomenal. Jump Start is consistently funny and I have many strips saved to my desktop because they're funny or I can identify. (And I'm white! And not a nurse, cop, parent, or married. OMG, STOP THE PRESSES.) Herb and Jamaal just sucks, art, stories, jokes.

The aftermath will be interesting - how many people will notice?

As I said, I haven't read the CA in a while, but I doubt many people who only get their comics there will find out. They don't carry any of the strips participating, unless Curtis counts because he talked about the Quakers today. (Though gossip is more important to an average kid.)

Which is really odd. Memphis's black population is the majority, we have a black county and city mayor, but the comics don't reflect that. That sucks. There are many legacy strips, or there were, like Dennis the Menace, Blondie, Family Circus, Beetle Bailey, BC, pick a name. I can't wait until, like 2025, when Curtis or Jump Start have been around for 30+ years and join the dinosaurs.

Okay, okay, I'll start working on my paper.

It won't be as pointless or rambling as this blog post, and it will be read by someone other than me. So there! I win!

Irony on B1

There's a sidebar article about the heat.

It's not a pointless heat article, we really are breaking records. The expected high today is 104 - plus humidity.

The triple digits started Friday and are expected to stop Thursday, however, the humidity is here to stay, which pushes the heat index above 100, so it will feel just as bad.

One thing I haven't understood about this heat is the low temperature of the day. It was 66 degrees this morning right around sunrise.

I thought that much difference between temperatures in one day would lead to rain, but it hasn't.

When it started, it wouldn't go below 80 all night.

The irony comes in the description of today.

Not the temperature, but what today is.

It's the first day of school for Shelby County and Memphis.

The sentence says that it will be 104 today, "as schools reopen for the fall."

Stupid Question Alert #2

Why do some people leave their newspapers in their driveways for days?

There are a few people in our neighborhood, one just a few houses down the street in particular, that usually has 4 or 5 orange bags in the driveway.

I don't get it.

Whoever lives there is not out of town, because the cars are coming and going every day. Which also means they're not stuck in the house by disease or injury.

They paid good money for this subscription. Why let it sit outside where it can be stolen?

I can understand if they have a high pressure job and don't have time to read the paper until the weekend, but that still doesn't explain why the paper is left outside. It takes less than a minute to run out, grab it, and toss it in the house or car.

Also, what is up with this constant situation that I see in MAD magazine, one comic in a 30+ year old Archie, and a commercial for a casino about an unlucky guy?

It involves going outside the house early in the morning to get the paper, or in the second case, to talk to someone.

The door always slams shut.

And it is always locked, and they have no hide-a-key, no backdoor or a locked one, and no common sense.

Because, in addition to being locked out until other people wake up or come home or come over with the key you lent them, you are naked, in your underwear, in your pajamas, or just anything embarassing.

I even think it shows up in the new movie Evan Almighty. I so want to see it - I've loved Carrell since he's loved lamp. However, I don't believe in God, though I do believe that Morgan Freeman exists and is a wonderful actor and quite handsome for his age (older than me), and even if I did, the story of Noah's Ark is insane and impossible and should only be taken as a story. God loved the world, so he killed everyone but Noah and his family. That's not love, that's abuse. (Law and Order SVU rules.)

Anyways, the same thing shows up in a commercial - he's naked, getting the paper! And he doesn't live in the boonies, so someone sees him.


My question is just why? And has this ever happened to anybody?

Why would you lock the door if you're going to the end of the driveway or even just a few feet away from the door?

Why lock it and not have a key?

And why go out in your underwear or nothing where people can see you? It's called a robe, or a long t-shirt, sheesh.

I go out and get the paper in my pjs all the time.

I never lock the front door, I'm just going to the driveway!

This weekend, we're taking in our next door neighbor's paper and mail. This morning, I was the only one up, and I had my pjs on - purple pirate pants, Joe's Crab Shack white T-shirt, and blue and gray sports bra that must show through the shirt. And no shoes! No makeup, hair's a mess.

I leave the door unlocked and open (screen door shut, though, it's summer and I'm not an idiot) and walk to my neighbor's driveway to pick up her paper.

What was I thinking?

If we were collecting the paper for someone who lived more than a few houses away, I would lock the front door.

And leave the back unlocked, with a dog outside or in.

Why does this happen?

How?

Does it?

Lots of stupid questions.

Please answer them.

Or I will be confused for life and flunk out of college and amount to nothing. Do you want that on your conscience?

Jerry Falwell is dead.

And has been for a while.

I haven't had anything to say, I tried to contain my glee with the thought that what he started didn't die with him.

I never liked him, but what he said on September 11th kind of sealed the deal, and everything else he's said is just disgusting. I checked out the book American Fascists Monday and I told my mom that it wasn't about ordinary Christians, like her and Becky and the people who work at the Crisis Center, it was about the Falwells, and the Dobsons, and the Pat Robertsons, those jerks that hijacked the country and are trying to make it a Christian nation.

I can't believe I was happy to see he died of old age. 1 - no one killed him, that is very good. 2 - he was a hateful bigot. Here's a collection of his quotes from an atheist site.

What prompted me to finally say something was the 3 letters printed this week condemning Bill Day, the Commercial Appeal's editorial cartoonist, for a cartoon he did on the death of Falwell, mocking him.

Of course he'd mock him, if he's remotely liberal, he's responsible for September 11th and all the ills in the world.

He draws a lot of criticism that other cartoonists featured don't get, at least in the paper. No liberal ever complains, or gets printed, about the Ramirez cartoons that run - I don't remember his first name, but he's conservative, and since Bush vetoed the war bill passed by Congress, he's run too many fucking cartoons about how 'radical' Congress has become. If Congress was filled with bleeding heart liberals and radicals, we'd have free health care and impeachment proceedings! Grr.

On May 18, this cartoon ran in the Commercial Appeal. It's pretty weak, and not very funny to me, but it's pissing people off.



*yawn*

Cute - he called Tinky Winky gay, so ha ha, Tinky Winky's welcoming him to heaven. I don't get it.

The first letter was the next day said "Teletubbies don't go to heaven". Dogs do, according to the liberal nazis in Hollywood.

There were 2 more today, they were so stupid!

I worry Day will be replaced by other cartoonists, or a conservative one. This is the South, we need as many liberal voices as we can get.

But he keeps stepping on religious toes, because plainly, he doesn't worship Falwell and likes to poke fun at pompous people who blamed him for the worst terrorist attack on American soil.


There was another letter yesterday that made me see red - sent in by a guy, about the recent outcry about rape in a rich part of town, hence the coverage of it. The victims are calling for more police, but the asshole said police aren't there to protect us, women should take responsibilty for their own protection, if they get raped, it's their fault, no, it was their male relatives' fault for not protecting them. It seemed like he was saying that we shouldn't punish the rapists, since the women should protect themselves. Go to pandagon or feministe or reclusiveleftist and see why this is so offensive and stupid, it's not funny, because it's not unique - or limited to men, sadly. We can be aware of our surroundings, and take self defense or martial art classes, they give you confidence, but we are not responsible for a rapist's crimes - he is.

I agree with the letters today - we've been saying "Enough is enough" about crime for about ever, but it only makes the front page when it's rich people getting hurt. It's sad but true.

Though the rich victims have the money and time to pursue this, not the average victim. I'm glad they are asking "Why?" and demanding answers - someone has to, and it works better if it's somebody rich and with influence. That's how it works.

Now I'm going to watch Crossing Jordan on A&E. Toodles.

Something odd on A4 today.

I can't believe I didn't notice it at first - actually, I can, I was pretty sleepy and just wanted to read the smoking article and get onto the comics.

This odd little advertisement was next to the smoking article!

And I still missed it.

But I found it while looking for an article that was not in today's paper, but yesterday's. I felt like death yesterday, it was all I could do to read the comics, but since I love the paper, I'm supposed to read it every day. And I do get possessive of the Sunday paper, I want to go through it first. They don't even want a subscription - this expires in August. Mom only got it so I'd stop raiding her change on a daily basis.

Anyways, this was a nice little ad that took up half the sheet, height-wise and it was 3 columns wide.

The title?

8 Compelling Reasons Why:

Christ Is Coming Very Soon!

How To Be Prepared For History's Greatest Event


It is hilarious. I cannot believe somebody believes this. Mom told me it's somebody's opinion, it's not based on facts. And that makes it less funny? No.

There is a website, if you dare - JesusSoonReturn.com. I don't. I'm not brave enough to visit.

The 8 reasons are absurd and trite at the same time - the usual suspects, with a few surprises. Israel's existence, fighting in Israel, 'plummeting morality', The New World Order (The EU, the UN, the World Bank, and so on), more cults and false religions (whoever this wackjob disagrees with), and at the same time, more religion and belief of the right kind.

I did not know an increase in earthquakes meant Jesus was coming back - I guess heaven really is inside the earth's core and He's going to come up in a volcano. Take that, Pelé!

But the absolute best reason is number 5 - "Explosion of travel and education."

I'm not kidding! "Two key conditions described about 2,500 years ago for the Second Coming are that "travel and education shall be vastly increased" (Daniel 12:4, Living Bible). In all of history, the vast increase in travel has come just since mid-century with the explosion of both ground and air transportation; in education, with the advance of science and computers."

Mid-century is very important to modern Second Coming theories, Israel was created - miraculously reborn, I'm sorry, in 1948.

I'm pretty sure trains were a sign of the Second Coming when they took over, as was the wheel.

But education? It doesn't make sense. The religious right in this country hates science and education, especially public and non-religious higher education. They're fighting education and science by insisting that evolution is a theory, that the Bible's creation story is the only one, when it's clearly not. It can be taught in high school in a religious studies class, along with the other widely practiced religions of today, or even in a religious history class.

But that's a sin, somehow, because the Bible is the only thing that matters. I thought the 10 Commandments were the only thing that mattered, along with believing in Christ, but there's a lot more to it than that, apparently.

There's also the stem cell issue, where a potential life is more important than somebody already alive and possibly sick who could be looking at a cure.

It ends with an invitation to visit the website where you can see 3 exciting reports: (1) "Seven Incomparable Benefits to trusting Christ," (2) "Beware: the Mark of the Beast!" (3) "What is a Cult or the Occult?"

Your name and address will never be sold or used to beg for money, they sincerely pledge. This ad was paid for by a "concerned private contributor" with a lot of money to waste spreading the word of Christ rather than, I don't know, doing Christ-like work by helping the poor. By the by, I saw our Crisis Center brochure today - it's a ministry, and the brochure included a Bible verse about helping the poor and how good that was. But it's more important to scare everyone with tales of hell.

You know, if everyone who doesn't follow the rules is going to hell, what does it matter to those who know they're going to heaven? We're idiots, let us enjoy a sulfur shower while you play a harp (not a lyre).

Of course, the reason some people pressure loved ones is because they truly believe in heaven and hell and they are concerned that they'll go to heaven and not see their family. It's genuine, but still annoying.

This ends with advice to "clip, copy and share with others!"

I should pay for an ad saying something like that, but based on the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy five book trilogy. (Hint - the Sabbath is Thursday.) Money's money, right?

I doubt one person will object to this tripe (people object to the strip club ads in the Sports section), but if I were to run something saying that other people don't believe that, I'll be attacked. This paper has a daily Bible verse in the Op-Ed section. I'm not kidding. Saturday, the M section is devoted to religion - church picnics, never anything about a synagogue or mosque, just Christianity.

Big surprise.

The Second Coming will not happen on a single day. There's debate over whether the bad number is 666 or 616 or 999 or 919 or 13 or 1013 or 42, plus the calendars have changed a wee bit since the Bible was written.

The Second Coming has been coming since Jesus died, it'll happen in our lifetimes has been the cry for almost 2 millenia.

Nothing has happened.

What's scary is that there are people who believe it will happen in their lifetime and want it to happen and like the war in the Middle East, because it's speeding it up. (How can it be sped up if it's God will?)

Why care about the poor if Jesus will take care of them any day now?

I'm lucky to work and live with Christians who think it's not important.

Thank You For Smoking

That's a great book and an okay movie. I just reread it last week, and I still like it. The main character is so sincere in his statements, the last chapter still shocks me, when he's like, yeah, smoking is bad for you. Duh. A bit that popped into my head today while reading the paper was when Nick was on Larry King and said there's no health risk in smoking cigarettes, the CDC and the NIH make it up because if they don't, they'll lose funding. Naturally, someone from the CDC calls the show and tells him he's full of shit. He counters with the growing epidemic of pneumonia now that smokers are forced to go outside. What bullshit, but it pays the mortgage.

I am not a fan of smoking. This may have to do with the fact that my dad smokes and I do not like him. While he lived with us, he smoked outside. And any time one of mom's smoking relatives visits, they have to smoke at the end of the driveway. However, dad smokes in his house now, as does my uncle. Uncle Danny was married to a smoker, but they both smoked outside. He's married another smoker, and this time they smoke inside. In the kitchen. During his oldest daughter's birthday.

My dad also smokes in his kitchen - when my sister complained, he pointed out that she was in the living room and couldn't even smell it. He has a semi-open floor plan - the kitchen can not be shut off from the rest of the house. He also smoked in the car, with the windows down, while taking her to the doctor. She had bronchitis and pneumonia and was coughing like crazy. But no big deal! The window was open. Sheesh.

At the Crisis Center, you cannot smoke in the building, and if you're a client and you step outside to smoke, whether you missed your turn or not, you'll have to come back the next day. The building is small and the director is allergic. Plus, it stinks. One woman lied about smoking, and went looking for clothes. The room is big, don't get me wrong, but it's packed with clothes. It stunk.

One of my mom's best friends is die-hard smoker - she smokes outside, or at least in her garage. She went to Sonic with my mom and sister yesterday afternoon (Becky has a job!), and smoked while Becky ate. Sure they were outside, but still. When they worked together, she drove everyone nuts by going outside to smoke and then spraying herself with perfume. She came back in every day smelling like perfume and cigarette smoke.

Dogs are banned in more places than cigarettes. I don't think people should smoke where food is served. You can't smoke at a gas station, but the last time I went in one to get the paper, a guy in front of me reeked of cigarette smoke. But I was the bad one because I'd stepped in the door with a 12 pound poodle mop in my arms and didn't go farther than the cashier, which is at the front of the store. I know, I know, they're not allowed.

Mom and I found this great little burger place in Memphis and it was ruined by a smoker. How can you smoke and eat? Ew. (It was very small.)

I loved eating out in Washington - no smoking! One of my uncle's favorite restaurants was worried it would lose business after the ban. Business increased.

There is no 'smoking section' that keeps the smoke 100% away from nonsmokers, unless it's in a separate wing with good ventilation. There's not a peeing section in pools - that stuff spreads.

I realize that long time smokers don't have as good a sense of smell as nonsmokers, so they don't realize how they smell and how it affects others.

So - I hate smoking.

Imagine my joy when I look at today's paper - all area hospitals are banning it from the campuses - no more 'smoking sections' just outside the ER door, no more smoking before visiting sick people, yay! It starts November 15th, the American Cancer Society's Great American Smoke Out.

Most hospitals are taking great steps to help people quit - free nicotine gum or patches along with classes.

They're doing it to improve health and set a good example for the nation's health - they're hospitals. The VA has a problem, as it has smoking shelters that are federally mandated. But I don't think it'll be a big issue - I think this will go through and it'll be great.

Some people are worried about visitors that want to smoke - screw them. They're visiting a sick loved one, they can put the damn things away for an hour, can't they? My dad did that when he visited me in August - he never stunk.

Last Friday, I had an ultrasound done at Baptist Tipton. It is an old, small hospital, but it doesn't have old-world charm. It seems dingy. Anyways, we walked out the front doors and someone was smoking. Yuck! Now smokers will have to go farther, but they'll survive.

If you can't stop smoking while in the hospital, you have a problem. Of course, it is an addiction, but still.

Last time I was at the ER at St Francis, a very sick looking woman walked outside about 5 times. She was a patient and she had to smoke.

That's sad.

But yay! No more smoking anywhere near a hospital. It makes perfect sense. Even when you do it outside, the smell stays with you. Trust me.

Anyways, the story was on 2 pages, A1 and A4.

A4 had an interesting little article at the top of the page about black churches and the new hate crime bill making its way through Congress. They oppose it, because they can't preach against homosexuality.

Unlike smoking, homosexuality hurts nobody, but the homosexual him or her self if he or she chooses to hide it and repress their true nature.

All this law will do is add sexual orientation to the list of things that are already on the hate crime books, like race, religion, gender, ethnicity.

But this will hurt the country, somehow. I'm not sure how.

Besides, the church has been a haven for homosexuals. They have to be celibate and so do priests, monks, and nuns. Problem solved.

The black churches that do support the bill liken this to the Civil Rights struggle of the 50s and 60s. I agree. People want to deny the humanity of other people, just because they are different and it 'goes against God'. So did freeing slaves and marrying someone of a different race at one point.

Of course, there is a big difference between this struggle and the older one - you can hide your homosexuality, you cannot hide your race or you gender.

But I still think this is a waste of time, and will only hurt homosexual Americans if it's not passed. You can think what you want about homosexuality, but you don't have the right to deny a gay person the same rights and opportunities you have - to get married, to adopt, to be a foster parent, to not be harassed, assaulted, or killed for who you are.

I hope these religious leaders end up looking like the idiots they are - protesting giving a minority the same rights as yourself on the grounds that it's a sin, you think it's wrong.

Guess what? If gay marriage is legalized, you don't have to marry a member of the same sex, you don't have to divorce your opposite sex spouse, you can still marry your opposite sex sweetheart and no one will care.

Don't like gay marriage? Don't have one. Don't do one, but don't deny others the right to do so.

This Conservapedia seems bizarre.

I saw a bit in the paper about it, and it sounds weird.

Wikipedia is too liberal, too anti-American, and way too anti-Christian for the founder of Conservapedia, Phyllis Schlafly's son - a teacher!

On the about page, it says "Tired of the LIBERAL BIAS every time you search on Google and a Wikipedia page appears?"

What? Okay, then.

Some people see bias everywhere.

I only use Wikipedia for entertainment information - who wrote this, how many books did so-and-so write, what episode of what TV show, etc. I'd never use it for real work. There are free online encyclopedias that also appear in book form.

And I'm not using Conservapedia, even though it loves the facts, after adhering to certain rules.

Here are some of the weirdest examples of 'bias' in Wikipedia.

• Wikipedia says some scholars and authors question whether Jesus was a real person or not.
• It "often uses foreign spelling of words, even though most English-speaking users are American. ... Conservapedia favors American spellings of words."
• It uses BCE and CE instead of BC and AD. According to Conservapedia, since they're based on the Christian ones, why use them at all? I don't know, maybe because Wikipedia talks about other religions, and in many books and research articles, you see BCE and CE. I checked out a big, illustrated guide to world religions that seemed to be at a child's level, and it used BCE and CE - even when talking about Christianity.
• Its "entry for Johnny Appleseed, a Christian folk hero, omits a discussion of his strong faith and instead features baseless speculation about his health, a year of death different from that of his obituary, and a silly story designed to make a Christian preacher look foolish."

The entries are also too long and gossipy.

And there are too many on pop culture.

And too many on other countries and other religions, no doubt.



Conservapedia is, rather than the evil liberal Wikipedia, designed for education. (Private, no doubt.) No teacher wanted a source that said "Wikipedia", because it's user-edited, and could be wrong.

Since it's wrong from time to time, it shows bias.

What?

Anyways, it's so damn weird.

Whatever. I only use Wiki to find the name of episodes of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, really. At least lately. I also used it to look up satirical and parody-of-another books.

I wouldn't trust either, for anything serious.

Something Asinine on the Op-Ed Page Today

And I'm not talking about Ramirez's gross cartoon comparing Pelosi to Iran's president because she visited Syria. I thought that's what representatives of our country did. Talk to people, not blow them up or hang them.

I support her trip, I support her even more - she's so much more diplomatic than the people above her.

I'm talking about another bizarre letter to the editor. I will retype it, without the idiot's name, as usual.

You won't get the stupidity unless you get the Commercial Appeal, sorry. Though if you get any daily paper, you probably will.

The CA missed opportunity to inspire

I don't know why I was so surprised when I looked at your Easter Sunday front page. Instead of acknowledging this Christian nation with an inspiring Easter message to uplift people's spirits, we got articles on Mayor Willie Herenton, John Ford and the Winkler murder case.
Do you wonder why people think ultraliberals are anti-Christian? Would it have killed you to show a cross, spring flowers, anything symbolic of Jesus? Maybe the editors could at least devote one front page to uplift your readers' souls. This city has become so depressing, no wonder people leave.

Where's this anonymous (to everyone who doesn't read the CA) idiot live? Memphis.

First off, this idiot must have looked only at the front page of the Sunday paper. I read or at least looked at all of it, except business and sports, and he's full of shit. Yes, the Commercial Appeal, Memphis's only daily newspaper, did not look like a church newsletter on Sunday.

You want to know why the main articles were about Herenton, Ford, and Winkler? Because they're NEWS!

And this is a newspaper.

There were plenty of mentions of Easter and Easter services around the world - but not on the front page.

I like the ultraliberals thing. The CA is conservative and cares about money until the day they put their editorials on the front page. No, on Sunday, the editorial section is expanded beyond the usual 2 pages, and it's always interesting.

AND MENTIONED EASTER.

Also, spring flowers as a symbol of Jesus?

They are a symbol of spring, which we are still not feeling, as the sun didn't come out today and it was cold. I took a fan and a bag of ice pops to the Crisis Center for nothing.

They are also stolen from a pagan holiday that centered around the first day of spring. Christianity wanted to end all other religions, and took their dates and toys and said, "Jesus was born in December under an evergreen tree and died in April and came back as a bunny."

Or something.

I do respect Christians, but not idiots like this.

If he wanted inspiration, he could have, I don't know, gone to church? Subscribed to a conservative church newsletter so he doesn't have to see these liberals putting news on the front page.

How insensitive of them!


A somber note - the Winkler trial is so sad. She's the pastor's wife who killed her husband. The article was an interesting one on being a pastor's wife and the trials and tribulations of it and how it has to be a partnership or you'll end up killing each other. Of course, as someone pointed out in the letters section, it could happen in any relationship where there's a dominating party, not just in religious couples.

Hobby Lobby took out a full page ad on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Hawking pretty flowers that will die soon? No, 3 crosses and biblical quotes!

And many of Sunday's comics were just blatant, like BC and, BC.

By the way, I agree with everyone over at the CC. They should run the strips he had already made, and then stop it. But the plan is that family and staff will use his old drawings and put in new jokes, or something equally abhorrent. That's worse than running classic Peanuts. Nobody's tinkering with Schulz's work.

I hate myself for this.

I want to watch this show, I can't help it. I have his book, No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem, and I've actually read it a couple times and liked it each time, whether I liked country music or not.

Hopefully the next time it comes on, I'll be outside, asleep, somewhere else, or watching something else. If it's on opposite a show I know I like, too bad. Or, good.

I won't watch it.

I'm watching a FOX show right now - they said Berkeley Breathed would be on, and I'm half-listening, maybe he'll be on soon - they're talking about a 30 year old murder. But I read about that, so it has little to do with commercials.

Grounded For Life was on for an hour today, and Sabrina was on for two today, and every other commercial break was for the Sound of Music.

Since they started their commercial campaign, I've wanted to watch it - we have the video. But I couldn't find it in the study with the other VHSs yesterday and gah, we used to watch it all the time, the commercial was sucking me in, but I didn't want to watch a movie without a pause button and with commercials.

And then I realized that Becky liked Julie Andrews - only in the Princess Diaries movies, of course.

And since she's out of town - ssh! - I went in her room and looked for her collection of DVDs and tapes. And there it was! There's a sticky note on it right now telling me to put it back in her room.

I was going to watch it this afternoon around 4pm - almost 3 hours long - so I could watch AMW -I just saw him on TV and said, "Hi Opus!" - but a phone conversation with my mom convinced me that my time would be better spent napping. I didn't wake up until 7:30. And, d'oh, when I was sleepy and worried that they'd be snowed in and not back in time, I called my Dad and asked him to pick up my levoxyl before Tuesday. My last one is Monday, and it's the thyroid hormone. There are others I could call, and they will be back, but he said he'd pick it up. It's only $3, but I'm sure he'll give me the receipt so Mom can pay him $1.50. He has to pay half our medical bills, so mom started sending him all of our receipts for prescriptions and doctor's visits. He claimed he already did at the December disposition, but at best, he picked up one prescription every few months when Mom had no money or time, and I needed this medicine. But he has 30 days to pay half the bills, and mom's not pushing him to pay sooner. Luckily, he said he'd do it Monday morning. He's also bringing over Easter baskets for Becky and me tomorrow.

I told him not to ring the doorbell, because I'd get jumped on if I was asleep and the dogs were in. And I don't plan on opening the door when he shows up -I'll just hide until he goes.

Look, I called him and asked him and he said yes and it was very civil. I just didn't say, "I love you" back. I did thank him.

Back to commmercials, am I the only one who dislikes the Memphishelpwanted.com radio ads? I cannot stand the voices of the woman or the man in them - same two people every time. "Long name, amazing results." I knnow they have it in other areas, I first heard it at Alabama's Gulf Shore as tallahasseehelpwanted.com A google search takes you to regionalhelpwanted.com.

Anyways, hate the voices.

And I don't like the David Duchovny Purina ad where he's voicing thoughts of puppies in shelters. Or the ASPCA 'give us money or this puppy will die' ad. Only because they make me cry.

And the Proavctive acne commercials on radio or tv, ugh! More annoying than any zit I ever had. My sister has bad acne, she hates some of the pictures of her on here because she didn't cover her acne up that day, or she'd taken it off. I tell her, "Acne doesn't hide your beautiful bone structure, it does not make you less pretty!" But it does to her. I'll never understand, though, so I should leave her alone.

Two more ad areas - pop ups online. Yuck. And then there are talking ads on lyrics websites, I'm listening to a song and looking for its lyrics when I hear David Bowie ask me if I want an iPod Nano.


And then in print... so many ads for churches or one full page ad put out by a business this weekend about Easter. Not about sales, this ad put out by a business was purely religious.

But, this is the South, so you're religious by default.

Other print ads I hate - Mad's ads. Not the ads, as much as where they're placed. If there's a pull-out poster, it would be nice if it had ads on the opposite sides, so you could pull it out. But it often doesn't. That's not fair.

And the magazines Becky reads... half the articles are ads or endorsements for something, and then the rest is ads filled with skinny girls. Next to an article telling you to feel good about your body shape.

"Do you remember September 11th?"

Oh my god.

On A7, there is a snippet of an article about a disgusting lawsuit.

A California woman of Iranian descent is suing CHiPs. Good for her.

She apparently asked not to be cited for going 79 on I-680 last year on September 12, 2006.

The bastard said, "Today is September twelfth. Do you remember September eleventh? Do you know what happened on September eleventh? It's people like you who killed all of our people. This is our country! Why don't you go back to your country?"

Then he told her to shut up and wouldn't give her a business card when she told him she was filing a lawsuit.

The officer asker her to sign the citation, and she asked if she could read it first. Another racist tirade. "I don't have time for you foreigners to sit in your Mercedes! You think you own the road! You think you own the country!" He also pulled her from her car to yell at her further.

The supervisor showed up and told him to chill the fuck out. She went to the hospital for burises on her arm and leg and elbow pain.


Sick, sick, sick, sick!

Iranian descent means she's been here most of her life. And since she's alive, she plainly wasn't part of the attacks. God, what an ass.

I swear, police think they are above everyone else, because they're cops. My dad's a traffic cop, and he's teaching my sister all the wrong things when it comes to driving. He takes her driving in a car on the empty side of the base. Then she gets in mom's truck and drives around town, where there are other cars to deal with and it gets conflicting. He told her that the part of the car connecting the windshield to the windows, the side of the door, that thing... he told her that was a blindspot! And she yelled at my mom when my mom told her it wasn't. There are good cops, but too many are power-hungry assholes or corrupt.

So let's do away with government funded police forces. After all, anytime a welfare cheat is found, we should do away with welfare programs all together, right? Private forces, the market is God. "My sister was raped, robbed, and killed. Because of the robbery, they won't investigate - they said there's no money in it."

This is the only story I can find about it online. It's credited to the Associated Press in the Commercial Appeal, you'd think there'd be more than one online.

Her name is Zahra Sedaghatpour, and if this account is true, I hope she wins. I don't care what she wins, he better be fired.

Oh my god, he wouldn't return her "driver's license and car registration, telling her 'maybe the wind blew them away.'" According to this article, two other officers showed up and manhandled her and shouted profanities. Sick asshole bastards. I hope they get suspended without pay.

If it's true.




Above the bit about the lawsuit is a bigger article about a Roman Catholic couple that was interviewed on Ash Wednesday and pictured in the local paper (Wyoming) with ashes on their forehead, a mark of their Catholic faith.

The problem? It's two women who got married in Canada. They returned to Wyoming and sent a letter to the state senate asking them not to criminalize their marriage.

Then they were interviewed. And now, they're banned communion in writing, which is apparently a big deal.

They've been going to this church for a while, and it's not that they're gay, it's that they're not ashamed of it, that they appeared in public as a lesbian couple. One asked why Catholics who use birth control or have premarital sex aren't barred from communion and were told that those sinners don't go around telling everyone they sin.

They haven't been back since then, they don't want to make it worse. Your religion condemns you, but you grew up with it, you can't deny it. The two women have obviously come to terms with their sexuality and their religion, but the church hasn't.

Here's a link to the article on another attack on a minority.

Well, that was A7.

God knows what I'll find further in.

Oh, on A2, I found out I have to watch America's Most Wanted tomorrow night, even though a Law and Order rerun is on at the same time because Bloom County creator Berkeley Breathed will be on - helping solve a case, not in trouble.

And on A3 was an interesting bit about the Hatfields and McCoys. The McCoys suffered from an incurable disease that can be treated if caught soon enough and the tumors are removed. One place the tumors grow is on the adrenal gland, which can make you aggressive. Descendents of the McCoys today still have it.

What, it's interesting.

Now onto the B section - Germantown and Collierville residents can't have their grass higher than 6 inches or... er, the paper doesn't say. Probably a fine.

Billy Graham did it again!

The question today is: My boyfriend and I want to get married. Our parents want us to wait until we're done with college. We don't want to. Would it be wrong if we secretly got married?

Why was this sent into a religious column? Any of the other advice ones would suffice. Unless they're both super-religious and want to get married so they can boink like bunnies.

His answer was something sensible for the first half - Consider this. If you secretly get married, you could cause a rift of mistrust between you and your parents. Maybe they've seen other couples (or even were in their first marriage! - sez I) do the same thing, and they don't want you to mess up your education.

But Christ is important. Is he in your life, guiding your decision?

Look, anonymous college couple - do what you want - you are adults. But he's right. Think about it first. If you're truly in love, marriage can wait until after graduation - you can live together for the last year off campus to see how you get along living together.

School is stressful. (So I hear...It's only April, it's only April, it's only April.)

Marriages are not easy, as I've seen.

I think you should wait a year, anonymous couple. (Seriously, they never print aliases like "Confused in Columbus" for the good reverend, Miss Manners, or Doctor Gott.)

If your relationship can handle being engaged, finishing school, and starting out in the world before marriage, doesn't that make it stronger?

I am full of shit, of course, I've never been in adult relationship. I've never been on a date - I don't want to right now, but who knows what will happen in the fall?

School should be the priority, it's your last year.

Unless one of you is pregnant (I'm betting my scholarship it's the woman, if that's the case), and doesn't want the baby to be a bastard - just born 2 months early to the family (and right on time to the doctors).

Anyways, you're adults. Boink like bunnies, cohabitate, do what you want. But don't put your education on hold for marriage or kids. You won't get another chance for another decade, at least. At worst, until the kid is off at school.

I agree with the good reverend (again!). Consider marriage, consider your school work. School should top marriage, and if generations ago, couples could wait through war, the last year of school shouldn't be too hard.

But don't make a decision solely based on your parents' desires - it should all be you. You need to make your own mistakes, you're adults.

I would not get married in college - even if I met the man of dreams, even if everything worked perfectly. I probably wouldn't even get married the month after graduation - I want to get out on my own two feet before considering a long-term relationship.

But then again, you've seen pictures of me, so my marriage proposals are pretty close to zero and probably will be for a few years, and I'm fine with that.

My education will be paid for by scholarships and government money. I'm already going to waste some with my bad health, I don't need relationships cluttering it up as well.

So this is the second time I agree with the good reverend. Does it mean I'm religious or he's questioning his faith?

Nah, just means we both agree on certain things, but not one big thing - to him, anyway.

It happens - people with different beliefs agree on some things. It's shocking in a country where there is no middle ground portrayed in the media, but most of us agree on things, just not all.

And that's good - it helps keep us from killing each other because we've got common ground, but it leads to debates and discussions over what we disagree on.

Er, did that make sense to anyone? I blame the meds and the god-awful hour - 7!

Mikey and his Cones 2

Poor duddles.

It's off today, since Mom is at work and when she's gone he curls up in a ball and sleeps the day away, unless he gets to go on a walk.

Now, I think we have a picture of the stitches and such, but I won't post them.

However, Saturday night, two of Becky's guy friends came over, and conehead couldn't jump on them so he grumped by Mom. She picked him up and showed off the swelling, bruising, and general owieness of it all. Why? To keep them from having a girlfriend in high school, as they are too, too young - 15 or 16.

Sunday morning, he went outside with Mom to help her do whatever it was she was doing, and it was so windy he got picked up, he had no control over his body.

Poor dudders.

I gave him one benadryl this morning with his antibiotic, as we only have one pain tablet left, and I think the itching is a problem as much as the pain. And, it should make him sleepy enough to leave them alone.

He goes back next Monday to get the stitches removed. All but one of Wickett's had already been pulled out by Wickett, so let's see how Conehead does.

Wickett was so funny after the surgery - no cone, though. He'd wake up after sleeping on the couch, jump down, take a few steps, then drop his booty to the floor. "Oh, it's still swollen."

He was so cute.

Mikey's an idiot with the cone on.

If he's walking, and the cone touches anything he must stop. And we must rescue him. He's only gotten stuck a couple times, he just thinks he's stuck.

The cone also has an advantage - it's flea season. No worries about bites while putting it on, though since we're putting it on all 3 dogs tomorrow and throwing them out all day since all the humans will be gone, he won't have the cone on. Mom's worried about how many ways Captain Idiot can get stuck if unsupervised.

It cost $20, but we needed it because he is the man. His wang was so huge, his balls as big as the moon, the surgery was so drastic, of course, he'll be picking on them.

Actually, it has more to do with his age (he'll be 5 this summer!) and general orneriness.

Speaking of ornery dogs, Becky's friend brought over her two month old jet black pit, Memphis, Saturday night. Memphis doesn't need a leash, she knows how to sit, she knows how to shake - with both paws! (I warned her that it would lead to slapping later on, but she said Memphis already does this.)

I wanted to trade Wickett for Memphis, but no.

They're going to breed her - only with pure pits - but I bet a lab/pit would be gorgeous or a chow/pit. Labs mix well with others, and I love chows.

Anyways, Memphis is shy around other dogs, but had no problem demanding attention from me, mom, and Becky.

But Memphis is a pit, so she's automatically dangerous and could be outlawed and put down. Or her legal owners (Becky's friend's parents) would have to pay for an expensive insurance policy for their "dangerous" dog.

Mikey and Wickett are more likely to bite you than Memphis. Wickett was in Mom's arms when Memphis came over, screaming his head off. (I wanted to trade Memphis for Wickett - they're both black, and about the same size, but Memphis will get bigger.)

Mikey may have been abused before we got him, and Wickett's just a crab monkey and he did not have run of the house and the boobs at his first owner's home (they wanted to breed him!).

A poodle mix is more dangerous than a pure pit, at least in this situation. But who gets in trouble? The innocent pit. (Mikey only bites Becky, Wickett, and me.)

Chows are higher on the danger list, but they're not subject to all this speculation like pits are. Dixie's an angel, of course, as are all the chows and chow mixes I have met.

Some dogs are crab monkeys (Wickett). They do have their own personalities, you know.

But a dangerous dog is made dangerous by its human owner.

The Commercial Appeal ran a section a couple Sundays ago all about pit bulls in the Memphis area. It made me cry. The last picture was an innocent pit about to be put down because she'd been used as bait in dog fights. When she got put down, that was the only time she saw love, she got hugged as the poison put her to sleep.

Breeding and selling pits is a lucrative business, and most end up in dog fights. The humans involved get a slap on the wrist, and the dog gets put down - which it should be, it's only known a life of misery.

This was sparked by the story of a Memphis man who lost his hand to a pit.

So now, people who have negative experience with pits want to ban them, while those with positive experiences want to go after the people, not the dogs.

And, like someone said, if you ban pits, the people that do this will just move onto another breed.

I hope Memphis tightens animal cruelty laws and leaves innocent pits like Memphis out of this.

The Reverend Billy Graham Confuses Me By Agreeing With Me.

In part.

This is from yesterday's M section, March 9th. I had TV to watch once the sun went down (Las Vegas and Law and Order baby! The L&O was from the start of the season and had Chevy Chase as the Mel Gibson character, complete with Sugartits. (Which is totally one of Wickett's new nicknames. He used to be called TeeTee because he "teetee'd" all over the house, and I guess she is too much of a lady to call him a walking pisspot when she catches him peeing or titshit when he acts like a rotten shit.)

There was a good point made - spoilers, I don't care, this is its second run on TV. Chevy's kid killed the lady, and to get the kid less jail time, they were going to charge Chevy with child abuse because he'd passed on the anti-Semitic torch. Jack McCoy said his dad was an Irish cop who would rant about the Blacks, the Hispanics, the Ukrainians, and every one who wasn't Irish. The new female ADA (who knows how long she'll last or if she'll get TV show of her own later on - Jill Hennessy has Crossing Jordan now, another show I adore.) said something along the lines of see, you did the right thing and came to your own conclusions. Jack's reply?

"Only because I hated the old man."

That was so funny to me (I was in horrific pain that went away within the hour.) and it was so true. My dad is a bigot. He was raised that way, and he loves his mother and his dead stepfather, going so far as to keep stepdad's name, when his two other siblings kept their father's name. (So did the youngest, but he's my dad's stepdad's biological son.)

My dad's a bigot and a conservative.

I don't like my dad at all.

It was just too funny, too true. I think I would have reached my own conclusions about life and people, but who knows, if they'd never divorced, this could be a conservative blog, weeping about Libby's conviction (not from laughing too hard) because Libby forgot something. We all forget things. Tim Russert forgets things - and it's on camera! And they convicted Russert. Travesty of justice. That's what Charles Krauthammer said in his op-ed piece printed in the Commerical Appeal yesterday. Basically, the paper's in the outside trashcan.

Back to my main point - Billy Graham agreed with me! And confused me.

A person wrote in asking if God knew people would get all murderous and imperfect. If he did, why didn't he make us good?

The Reverend's answer is straightforward, and he agrees with me on one point - God wanted us to have free will so we'd choose to love him, because love is more real if it is chosen. (I agree with that.) He ended up saying accept Jesus for your salvation, blah blah.

But what he started with makes no sense, and my sister can't answer my question about it. (She's a Methodist and doesn't go to church services, she sticks with her youth group. They don't believe what the Baptists believe, and they don't judge other religions. Clearly, she is going to hell.)

God made us becaue He loved us and He wanted us to love Him in return.

Where did God get the idea? It would have been easier to get a dog, really, they adore you, and yes, the brats do choose to love you or not. Trust me.

Where did God get the idea to make people? Is there a race of cosmic beings who have their own planets, and he saw the nearest one and the god forced his creations to love him and he didn't like that. Or the Sims existed back then in some form.

In the Big Book of the Unexplained, God or whatever is in charge, is called the Cosmic Trickster. I like that. It's the only thing that makes sense.

Mississippi loves babies so much!

If Roe vs. Wade is overturned, abortion will be banned in the state.

Until that happens, they've settled for offering women considering an abortion to listen to the fetus's heartbeat and see a sonogram. And a minor who doesn't have her parent's consent has to get it from the courts.

Last week, I remember seeing in the paper that Mississippi has ONE abortion clinic, in Jackson. One!

The Alabama Planned Parenthood is quoted in the article in today's paper saying if they really cared, they'd work with PP by not blocking contraceptives and comprehensive sexual education.

No wonder there are so many teen parents around here. The only sex ed we got at school was a video on STDs and a handout on wearing a condom.

There's a common thing brought up by anti-choicers - "If the fetus isn't a person, why is someone charged with killing two people when they kill or hurt a pregnant person?"

Well, the woman chooses to have an abortion, she doesn't choose to be attacked.

I think it's that simple.

As for minor's needing court orders, do they just want more teen parents in Mississippi?

I know why a minor wouldn't have her parents' consent, she doesn't want them to know she had sex!

But it's not law yet, Gov. Barbour hasn't signed it yet. He's expected to.

Some irony in the paper

Sometimes I get it in my head to read each section of the paper, and yesterday evening was one of those times. I skipped the sports, though, I always do. And I made it through all but one page of business. And I skipped the main article in the M section, but! I read the first 2 sections entirely.


Of course, I'm referring to them labeling Bill Gates as Robert Gates! What a knee-slapper! Actually, it was silly because it was a bit on Bill Gates supporting more immigrants, and we know how the Bush Administration feels about that.

No, what I'm talking about is even more obscure.

I always get a kick out of reading the 'Memphis Memories' in the B section.

The shocking piece was from one hundred years ago, 1907. Brace yourself. I read it to Dixie and she hasn't spoken a single word since! Just a warning, for the faint of heart.

Apparently, in Annapolis, The Naval Athletic Association spent $4,598 to maintain the Naval Acadamey's football team, and that amount is more than half the total expenses for the year for all sports! Try to contain yourself, readers. Most of the people involved are now dead, and institutions of education and their supporters have stopped spending so much and placing so much emphasis on sports. It's 2007, after all.

Wait, I just got a bulletin, no they haven't. The Memphis Tigers are still important to the school and the area, and Memphis Mayor Willie Hereton doesn't like them playing at Memphis landmarks. The basketball team used to play in the Pyramid. When the Grizzlies came to town, a new court was in order, the FedEx Forum. Which looks like every other damn 'forum' in the world. And the Stones were there in 2005 and I didn't get to go. And I remember the reason people were pissed about the Grizzlies and the Forum, beyond the money, was one of their conditions of play - nobody else can play when they're playing at home. But it was mostly the money.

Well now, the Mayor (appointed by God, he claimed a couple years ago. I just read the Big Book of the Unexplained, and 'God', or what created/controls the world, is called the Cosmic Trickster. I like that. And if God's a Cosmic Trickster, than sure she/he/it would appoint Willie Herenton and George Bush.) wants to build a new football stadium, because the Liberty Bowl isn't good enough to attract a football franchise, and that's what Memphis needs to get people to move here and care about us. Not improving schools, fighting crime, getting rid of corruption in office, but a new football stadium.

The Pyramid may be sold to Bass Pro Shops. Which means we lose the Wonder Series. I can't find a link for it, there used to be a page, but when the Pyramid closed, they must have taken it down. They didn't bring enough money. At least we still have the Pink Palace. (The wax people scare me, but you get to walk through a replica of the first Piggly Wiggly!)

Actually, the thing in the paper I meant to write about happened after the Naval Athletic Associated spent $4,598 on football.

75 years ago: 1932
Mrs. G.T. Fitzhugh, Mrs. J.W. Monks, Mrs. Hugh S. Hayley, Mrs. D.B. Puryear, Mrs. George Wellons, and Mrs. P.J. Hackett yesterday were elected officers of the Memphis and Shelby County Democratic Women's Victory Club.

Read that again. "the Memphis and Shelby County Democratic Women's Victory Club." What are the last three words? "Women's Victory Club." It was the Women's Club. And yet they were still identified by their husbands' names, unless Mrs. Hayley was unlucky enough to named Hugh, and Mrs. Wellons was not the boy her parents expected.

....


I thought it was funny.

Memphis Humane Society and Turning Our Dogs Into Cyborgs

All three of our dogs are officially cyborgs.

Wickett got his microchip inserted while he was sedated during his surgery. He got neutered last week. Mikey was supposed to, but the blood test revealed he was anemic. (3 points below normal) So Mikey has to get a nightly dose of 3mLs of liquid iron via syringe. First, we tried to inject it directly into his mouth. That worked a couple days, but when he spit and got it all over my clothes. Then we did a hot dog. Did fine. One night, Becky made rice, and we used that. Ate it up. So now, I'm using white bread, ripped into pieces. Wickett had to be on amoxicillin twice a day, 1 mL, same trials, but his is finally done. His stitches come out Monday. He's still all man - humped Mikey, fought Mikey, yelled at everyone, and peed on the football in the backyard.

Mikey won't be after his, because he's a weenie period. But that's Mikey.

So Mikey didn't get a microchip, because it's easier to do when they're knocked out, and they just decided to wait.

Friday's paper included the pet column, which mentioned the new Memphis Humane Society location, which I never got a chance to tour. It said it would be open from 10 to 2, and they'd be microchipping dogs for $15.

Whoa! We had to be there.

The microchips are from Home Again ID, and you have to register with them after filling out forms at the vet and the Humane Society. It sounds awesome - if they're lost without their collars, which include ID tags with their name and our number and city, and taken to a vet, they can be scanned and we'll get our brats back.

The microchips were $15 or $32.50. For $15, when a dog is scanned, the Humane Society will be called. Then the Humane Society will contact the owners. For $32.50, it goes straight to you.

So the choice was obvious for us. $30 bucks to microchip both rather than $30 each.

I want to tell you about the day, it was fun.

It started at 9:30 when I finally got out of bed. We wanted to leave at 9:30 so we wouldn't have to wait so long in line.

So we left around 10:15, because we had to clear out all of the junk in the backseat, like CDs and sunglasses, and books...

My cousin Jessica went with my mom and I, so Becky and Natasha could have fun without Jessica around. (Natasha's birthday is Sunday.) And so we'd have a third hand if needed.

Mom and Jessica rode up front, and the barrier that makes the front seat a 2 seater was up, making it a 3 seater, and locking Dixie in the back seat, until we got to the Humane Society, when she lept over it, and I had to grab her.

I rode in the back, which was a mistake, because Dixie wanted both windows to look out of. So back and forth, the entire 30 minute ride. Most of the ride was not stop and go, so Mikey could hop from front to back with abandon. He hates car rides, but always gets in. He usually curls up in the backseat and cries. He couldn't, because Dixie stepped on him.

When we got into stop and go traffic, Mikey continued his jumping. Well, he was climbing, about to do it, and Mom hit the brakes. Ker-thunk goes Captain Stupid. Just onto the seat, no damage to a brain that doesn't exist in the first place. He shakes his head often so hard, his ears flop everywhere, and it doesn't hurt. Little brain, surrounded and protected by a cushion. Like a woodpecker, but uglier.

You know it.

Then the next time, Dixie decides to move, and knocks him down. Poor little idiot.


Finally get there, long line outside, cars parked along the road, we had to park in the grass. We got there around 10:45, and the line was so long.

We got out and discovered another thing - the weather jerks were right. It was cold. And windy. The past week it's been windy, but warm - 60s and 70s. Today, 40s and 50s. They were right! How were we supposed to know?

We all had pants on, but Jessica was the only in socks and shoes. I had my Rolling Stones flipflops on, and mom had her black Crocs on. Not a jacket between us.

We got back in the car at 12:45.

2 hours! In the cold! For $15 dollar microchips.



Oh well.

But it was so much fun, I saw so many pretty dogs. The group in front of us was Basset hounds. One was full grown, the other a 4 month old baby with too much ear and a high pitched basset howl. Behind us were Pembroke Corgis, very adorable, very rotten, they got picked up a couple times.

Our surroundings were good, because the immediate dogs by Dixie, who does not like strange dogs, were small enough not to be a threat or scare her. They were also big enough not to be yippy idiots, like Mikey and Wickett.

Mikey spent most of the time on Mom's boobs, by the way. Pathetic. He was shaved, and miserable.

At one point, he was up, looking behind mom at the three Corgis who were also being held. But he was still taller than them, so he was better. Of course.

I tried to trade Mikey and Dixie for the Basset puppy, Tucker, but the owner said no. I wanted all the dogs I saw, but mom said we'd have to get rid of the ones we had. Parents.

When we got in, Mom had to fill out more forms and pay the people, so I took Dixie into the hallway that led to the area where people were taking tours. And just comforted her.

There was more than one shot station - that's all it is - a large shot with a microchip inside.

Ours was in a little room. Which was great. Mikey got his on the table, and they let me shut the door for Dixie's. She didn't squirm as much about the shot, more the strangers, so I stayed in her face.

When it was over, I walked out with Dixie, yelling, "PANIC DOG! PANIC DOG! PANIC DOG!" Everyone else before us had come out quietly. There were too many people and too many dogs, and Dixie needed her space. It got them out of my way.

On the ride home, I rode up front, so the dogs stayed in the back. They curled up and slept most of the time, but about half way through, Dixie decided to lick each back window, so Mikey had to get up, as he got stepped on.

Poor baby.

Random nuggets -

• This little kid, about 2, was so popular with the Corgis and most of the dogs. He had candy, and he was a baby, and most dogs know that little person equals food. It was so cute.
• I said, "Wow, all the breeds are here." Then I looked at Dixie and said, "Right here in my hands." That got a laugh and some kid asked me if she was chow. Yup. Part.
• Young kids wanted to pet Dixie, and they followed the doggie rules- ask the owner first. And they did. One started to pet her head, and I said, no, pet her side. Kid's Mom backed me up. When I decided to walk around with Dixie while Mom and Jess waited in line, an adult just reached down to pet her. I said no and kept walking.
• On my little solo walk, I picked up 2 bones from the Commercial Appeal's table. Dixie didn't want hers, so I gave it to the puppy. Mikey wanted his, and kept it in his mouth for about ten minutes, until Mom put him down. Then he spit it out and peed. And hammed it up, walking on two legs, king of the poodle mops.

It was great 2 hours, and it took more than 15 minutes to get feeling in my fingers.

The things we do for the dogs.

Something Funny in Today's Paper

To counter the horrid bit about Arkansas and gay people, here's something about Tennessee and gay people.

It's letter to the editor, I'm going to type it and the heading it was given, but not the person's name, that's cruel.

How to ruin a nice Sunday morning

The use of the degenerate, self-proclaimed lesbian Ellen DeGeneres' pictures and article in this week's TV Week insert in the Sunday paper is an affront to every "shut-in" Christian that must refer to this section in order to locate a TV church service.
If the Hollywood leftist liberals want to use her for their Oscar MC, that is their problem, but we here in the "Bible Belt" shouldn't have to be exposed to such "trash" by "our newspaper"!

I'm just surprised he didn't call her "Ellen DeGenerate".

So the Commercial Appeal should stop all coverage of GLBT people or issues, because we're in the south, and such people don't exist here. And if they do, they certainly don't tell people and appear on the local TV Guide! (The picture and the article, for the record, say nothing about her sexual orientation. The article is a boring reprint from zap2it.com, and I just reread it. Nothing. I guess her continued existence in the media is an affront to our Christian values.)


Couldn't a "'shut-in' Christian" get a weekly letter from the church that has the services? Or go online and look up their website? Or call the church? (I'm assuming it's Bellevue, which is an asssult on my sister's Christian values, because of its size. It is the mother of all mega-churches and has a weekly broadcast on that bastion of liberal communism, CBS. Just checked the TV Guide - Joel Osteen has 30 minutes Sunday morning, followed by an hour of First Baptist, which narrows down nothing.)

Whatever. My point is, while the Commercial Appeal is the only daily rag in the area, there are other sources. The TV Week doesn't list Monday through Friday mornings separately, so I have to get online to find out what's on, especially when the Week says 'Varied Programs'. And I often have to check zap2it.com, because it's inaccurate or out of date, even when they do list everything.

And I don't like the ads inside.

There is the chance the letter is a joke, and I know it was the only one sent in about the TV Week. How stupid. If it's real, let's imagine the thought process. Flipping through the Sunday paper, our good Christian, gets to the ads and looks for the TV Week, as quickly as he can, because he must know when Joel Osteen is on! And, horror of horrors, Ellen DeGeneres is on the cover. She's a lesbian! She came out! And she's on the cover of the TV Week, something this poor soul must see for a whole week! She's on the cover because she's gay, not because she's hosting the Oscars, which was kind of important, especially to those in the media. (Happy Feet won! Yay!)

A bit of silliness from Western Tennessee.

Arkansas is so stupid!

Little blurb in today's paper, the B section, buried where no will see it.

Lawmaker seeks ban of gay foster parents.

Little Rock - A proposal to reinstate a ban on gay foster parents overturned by Arkansas' Supreme Court will be introduced to the legistlature Monday, a state senator said.

Sen. Shawn Womack said he plans to file a bill that would ban gays and lesbians from becoming foster parents, a prohibition that justices struck down last year.

"As a legislature we need to take a serious look at trying to uphold that policy in a way that's constitutional and in the best interest of the child," said Womack, R-Mountain Home.

In June, justices upheld a lower court decision that threw out a ban on homosexuals serving as foster parents. Four people sued after the policy was put in effect in 1999 and the state Child Welfare Board dropped the policy after losing a court fight in 2004.

Yay for Arkansas from 2004 to now!

Of course this idiot is a Republican.

Disgusting.

All right, I'm not a foster kid. But I was in the nuthouse with foster kid. And I am still a kid.

Stop with the 'kids need a mommy and a daddy' shit.

If you meant it, you'd force every parent to be married against their will, so the kids will grow up with a mommy and a daddy.

Kids need loving homes, and two gay people can be great parents as well as two straight parents.

Denying the state foster families?

Denying children a home?

It's in their best interest really, to stay in a state home rather than live in a stable home with two women. Since gay couples can't have children biologically, they can be a boon to foster programs and adoption programs - families that want children but can't have them!

But no, if you spend time with gays, you'll turn gay.


A lot of the kids at the nutward were very religious, probably because religion was the only constant in their life and it promised a better one after this.


FUCK ARKANSAS STATE SENATOR SHAWN WOMACK!

If this passes, he and his wife will take in every kid that could have been taken in by a gay family.

I mean, it's the right thing to do.

Single people shouldn't adopt or be foster parents, no mom AND dad there.

You know what?

If my mom had a son, and needed help with guy stuff after the divorce, she'd call on her brothers or her male friends. If a dad has a daughter and is widowed, he goes to his sisters or female friends for help with periods and boobs. What stops a gay family from doing the same?

The Vice President has a lesbian daughter. She's going to have a baby. (IVF? I haven't followed.) These laws don't matter to her, she's rich.

But Christ, if we had compassionate people in the White House, she could serve as a reason to stop this.

But we don't.

Gays are immoral, terrible people who recruit children, etc, etc.

I hate the south.

I love Stephen Colbert.

I love the Colbert Report.

It and the Daily Show make for a perfect hour of television, Monday through Thursday nights.

One of the things I adore about the Report is the "Better Know a District" segments. I know he uses them to make fun of the Democratic representatives, but it really is an interesting segment. And I love his enthusiasm about it - slowly filling in that map, I hope he stays on the air long enough to fill it entirely.

I saw in the paper today - Memphis representative Steve Cohen filmed one Friday. They don't know when it will air, and he will come off as a terrorist loving commie, but it will be funny.

And I know Memphis is a big city, but it doesn't seem to exist that much on tv, and I love mentions of it.

And I don't even live there, Cohen's not my representative, if you think I'm telling you who is, you're out of your mind.

But yay! Memphis! On the Colbert Report!

I'm so excited.

Tennessee doesn't get much mention either, though we got some attention last November. (Can't believe Corker won, grumble grumble.)

As for Cohen, there were claims, during the primaries, that there were phone polls of democratic voters in the district, asking if you'd want to be represented by someone who didn't accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior. I don't remember if it was ever confirmed, but it's still disturbing.

The Commercial Appeal (Memphis's only daily paper) has a website, but to read articles, one must register - and not for free, so screw them.