Another letter to the school paper!

Speaking about money issues, this school does not go out of its way to be accessible to students with disabilities.

The elevator in Dunn is still broken, the 3rd floor is still inaccessible, and Dunn has some very steep, vertigo-inducing stairs.

Today, I was in Jones, luckily only on the first floor. Because their ONE elevator is broken as well. They say it may be fixed by next week, but it shouldn't be broken with no alternatives.

Too many buildings on campus have just one old elevator. The dorms aren't much better - in Richardson, one is constantly broken and there have been times when both are broken.

Last week, I was in the brand new waste of money called the UC, and the big glass elevators in the center were, you guessed it, broken. There are others in the UC, making it an exception. Too bad we don't have class there.

One thing we must do in addition to fixing the elevators in Dunn and Jones is adding a second one. Do you know what it's like to feel stranded because the elevator is broken and you're in too much pain to walk down 3 dizzy flights of stairs?

Also, the school does not help those with mobility issues who do not need a wheelchair. Sometimes, I cannot walk because of my pain. But if it's before 6pm and I need to get to class, I'm SOL.

Finally, people who park in front of the curb cuts are not disciplined enough, because they keep doing it. They are so important they can just impede a person's progress because they couldn't be bothered to find a legal parking spot?

This school's priorities disgust me sometimes.

Dunn's second floor is accessible through the building next door, but it doesn't really help me when I'm trying to conserve energy and move as little as possible, because I have to walk the length of the psych building twice.

I'll let you know if there's a response.

There's been some recent back and forth - a student wrote in decrying the waste of money that is the UC (and more proposed renovations - but only for dining stuff, because it's from Aramark so the money can't be used in a sensible way) and the lack of books in the campus library. An official wrote back (in the paper) saying, Aramark blah blah we do our best go Tigers. Another student's letter was published today saying, essentially, So? We don't pay our professors well, we don't use our money wisely.

I wonder if mine will be published.

ETA: I got a call on my (now MIA) phone today. The letter won't be published.

Because they're doing an article on the subject. Parts of my letter will be used in the article, along with the short phone conversation.

Exciting!

ETA2: Paper's out. The letter is printed. But someone did call me, and my phone number isn't on my FB or anything, it was with the letter form. Maybe they didn't have room, who knows?

Some culture

I have to give a presentation tomorrow on something related to 18th century France. Last time it was 17th century France and I did architecture and discovered I loved making powerpoints. I wish I could go back to all the classes I've had where I could have used a powerpoint and make them! So much fun. I am easily amused.

Anyways, I'm doing it on a rococo style painter, Élisabeth-Louise Vigée-Le Brun. Yes, she was a female painter. She painted men as well as women for portraits, and did a few of Marie Antoinette.

But my favorite painting is this one:

It's a painting of an actress called Giuseppina Grassini. I just love this painting.

Another piece of art I fell in love with this weekend while studying is the Minoan Snake Goddess.

I am going to try to get a color copy of the painting and maybe a reproduction of the snake goddess? The school only prints in black and white and rococo is about pastels, soft colors, so some of the beauty would be lost in translation.

Another aggravating school thing.

Though it doesn't make me angry because it's not shaming anyone.


Another fail that really grates (and I've never even taken a stats class!) are announcements and posters and boxes in the school paper about a survey, which shows that most Tigers don't drink to excess or smoke pot, basically that we are good kids and value our education and bodies. Except they put the number up on the signs saying "80 odd percent don't binge drink" and it's not even 1000 people. Our undergrad student body, according to wiki, is around 15,000 people. Grad students? 5,000. A tenth would be around 2000 people, and they didn't even get 900! And it would have been very easy to widen the net - we all have school e-mails and there are campus wide e-mails on a regular basis. Not everyone would respond, but it would probably be more than 800 odd students! Or maybe they truly got a random sample and didn't even need 1000 students. I guess it would take time to calculate all the answers. Perhaps they need money to do a yearly survey of students' alcohol and drug habits.

And we're broke.

"Long meals make (for) short lives."

I'm not sure on the exact wording, but I know it included "long meals" and "short lives". I don't remember if it was "Long meals make short lives" or "Long meals make for short lives."

Both on google turn up cookbooks and stuff on hair.

No picture. Hmm, I could take my laptop and lift the offending napkin holder up to its computer, but the place where I saw it is closed today and they may have removed it.

Basically, they used to insert ads for stuff on campus, especially food, on the sides of a the napkin holders. But now it's all "healthy" BS - stop eating you fattie, get healthy.

The quote is attributed to nobody but "a proverb." No sources!

Anyways, even if I could find said "proverb," I'd still be mad at the fat-shaming and food policing.

But what gets me - and makes me write a blog post about it - is that it makes no damn sense at all, outside of guilting fat students, thin ones, "average ones", and makes us really think about our food.

I like food because it tastes good and fills me up, and sometimes when I eat within 30 minutes of a pain pill, it helps the medication work better. The food also keeps me alive, as it does for everyone. Certain foods don't, depending on allergies or whatever, but we need food for living. Even zombies eat!

Anyway, here are the problems with the "proverb" -

No country or time given, so I assume it was a diet guru who said it.

When  proverbs were written or said, most people did not have access to excess food. It's only recently in human history that all classes can eat to gluttony. (While the relatively rich people of the world starve themselves.) And it's not even true across the world, or the country, or my state, my county, my city - I'm sorry, people have "food insecurity."

And mealtimes have long been considered important for socialization - and not just with the nuclear family. It's a way to schmooze, get free food (as a guest), get to know people, make business/political connections (even back in Roman/Greek times). Mealtimes are important.

"Long" meals are important as well. When my family (after the divorce, when he was still there it was compulsory. If he showed up, we'd all scramble to make it look like we never left the table.) eats at the table, be it at home or at a restaurant, we take longer than when mom makes a pot of delicious mac and cheese and we come and go as we please. We talk about things. That is considered a good thing, especially as your children get older. It's a way to connect and be a family. Of course, it's not the only way, but it's a good routine way, and I think calling it bad is just wrong. And then there's dinner with friends or extended family, the plates are empty, but who cares, we're busy yakking.

Another thing that makes a meal "long" is taking your time, which is often encouraged for a number of reasons, but I'm sure it's been encouraged as a way to lose weight, because everything you do either makes you gain weight and become a bad person or makes you lose weight and become a good one.

The so-called proverb makes no damn sense if you think about it, which I believe we're supposed to do. FAIL

ETA - do check out The Fat Nutritionist website.

ETA2 - I saw it again, and I was totally wrong. "To lengthen your life, shorten your meals." Google turned up nothing, with "to lengthen your life" - except 7 foods to lengthen your life.

ETA3 - looking it up with the quotation marks turned it up, but no source besides "proverb." The first result - not linking to such a hate-filled site, is called
"Weight loss with your food addiction" And it's under "diet" quotes and proverbs, but no damn source, country, or time.

So I was wrong about the quote, they did find it somewhere, but the analysis still stands. It's bullshit.

A little pain anecdote

It's only painful for you because my writing is so bad.

So last week, I did a lot of work to make sure I'd be comfortable while watching Chandni Chowk to China. I know, all the work for an Akshay Kumar action movie that was panned? (Well, I enjoyed it.) I had to show gori Bollywood support.

The undoubtedly busy and overworked SAC (student activities council, I think) offered to bring in a different chair when the movie would be screened in a meeting room with uncomfortable looking chairs (it was locked, so all I saw were straight backed misery makers), and to take PICTURES of said chairs and e-mail them to me, to make sure they were okay. The movie was moved to a theater, but they still sent pictures.

The movie was at 7 and Tiger Patrol starts at 6pm. Tiger Patrol is for safety - they run from 6pm until 2am. I wish they were 24/7 or 24/5, but I'm sure it has to do with money. You can walk with someone (safety in numbers, I guess) or ride on a golf cart. The previous times I've used Tiger Patrol, I've always ridden in a cart. So I called them after 6, asking if I could be guaranteed a golf cart, because it hurt too much to walk.

"If it hurts, shouldn't you call an ambulance?"

Sigh.

"It's chronic, blah blah blah."

So I rode in a golf cart.


Also, always timely, I was thinking about those full body scanners at airports as part of security theater. They just see through your clothes, not through your body, and no one's stuffed stuff up orifices. Once the butt plug bomber tries (and fails), they'll add in full-on X-rays. Something embarrassing? It can't see through fat folds, so I could stick a plastic knife in my bra and it would be hidden under my boobs.

On a personal level, I don't care, I will fly naked, just let me read my book and listen to my music. I really love flying - it's so much fun once you're up there. (I want to visit a nudist colony or resort.)

On a more rational holy shit what is wrong with this country, I oppose them and will go through the longer metal detector line.

Why don't I give a damn?

Because when I was 15, I had a hideous skin infection on my butt. MY BUTT. And my dermatologist was an old man. And if I wore clothes below the waist, they were ruined. And there were some doubters (dad and/or his mom) who had to see. "Come see the living infection!" Too bad mom didn't charge them for a peek. I was also on heavy painkillers so I didn't care.

The first time I was on painkillers was post thyroid removal. So this was the first time I was on them for more than a week or so and I wasn't used to them like I am now, which involves changing meds and increasing dosages and worries about addiction until holy shit it hurts I am going to rip the lamp from the wall - I don't know why lately that has been my desire when the pain grabs my by the stomach and won't let go, I wrap my fingers around the edge. I mean, I get holding onto my head or rubbing my eyebrows so much they hurt later, well not really, but sometimes the pain makes me all Hulk-y.

Anyway, I'm pretty blase about people seeing my body. To my sister's chagrin. I have shorts that are just longer than underwear that I never wear anywhere and only wear when I'm hot (oh that narrows it down) but does she want me sitting around in just my panties? And why are panties so much more scandalous than a bathing suit bottom? Eh, I tried swimming in the hotel pool this summer and realized I couldn't because I still use my fingers to plug my nose and there's a piercing in the way. Oh well, less chances to turn into a lobster.

Sunburn! Tore my back up but good in June 04. The first real day of vay-cay, we're at the beach, settled into the condo, I'm playing and having so much fun until little Miss Kill Joy shrieks at me, "Kaitlyn you're so RED!" Suddenly, PAIN!!!! Salt water, sand help help help. So I spent most of the days with no top on and later with no bra on under a big loose shirt.

Just no shame, whatsoever.

Oh, after spring break, I talked to a girl whose hand was burnt, but only on the top and it stopped below her wrist in a sharp line. When I asked how that happened, she said she forgot to put sunscreen on it. Needless to say, I put sunscreen on, but never enough and never often enough so the first day of any swimming/outdoors summer thing ends with me burnt to a crisp. The next day, if it's not too bad, I can swim with a t-shirt on, like I did at camp. Ooh, sunburn while camping - fun. Actually, the sleeping bags made of nylon (smooth, like a windbreaker or something) rather than warm cloth ones actually felt nice. I remember lying with nothing on my back (in the tent of course!) with my back against the sleeping bag. It helped some, but waking up in a ball in the corner never did. (I'd fall asleep on the air mattress but rarely wake up there.)

Just a short Friday post

I am in love with the TV show Dexter. So addictive and so good.

Yet another show where I sympathize with people I loathe - cops.

The first 2 seasons are streaming on Netflix, and somebody mentioned it on another website, so I was like what the hey, just watch the pilot, if you hate it, no matter. But no it was a cliffhanger. So I had to watch the next one!

I'll always watch it on DVD, because it's not on basic cable. What is on basic cable is Mad Men. The DVDs are available, but I wish at least the pilot was streaming, so I could know if I wanted to watch it. I don't want to jump in, and since I don't watch AMC, I don't see the promos.


Couple of things I like about the show, like a lot:

They're in Miami. They sweat. Maybe they film there (don't want to look up too much - only four episodes in, while I don't mind a movie being spoiled, I'm not ready for a TV show spoiler!) and it's natural. Or maybe they're spritzed with cold water before a shoot. Either way, it's realistic.

Another realistic part - Dexter is a CSI. But he doesn't go around solving crimes - the cops and detectives do. The cop parts seem very realistic - dull assignments, office politics. Not what you see on CSI unless an actor is quitting. (I don't watch CSI that much and have abandoned the L&Os.)

Finally - Dexter is adopted. He does call his dad by his first name sometimes, but beyond that, it's pretty obvious that they are setting it up so that Dexter is part of the family. In the 4th episode, in a flashback, his (adopted) dad says, "This is where my dad, your grandfather worked." He didn't have to say the part I emphasized, but it's another way of showing that Harry saw Dexter as a "real" son.

This is so refreshing because people who've adopted are asked if they're going to have "real" kids, even today.

I just like it.

What I don't like? The opening credits! Ewwwwwwwwww

Some money saving advice

Well, it only applies to Netflix users.

I'm always curious about others' experience with Netflix, and tonight I googled "is netflix worth it."

On this website - A site called Thrifty Fun and page is called "Is Netflix worth it?" - there is a reply from someone who loves the streaming (as do I, though I can't wait until subtitles/CC are available on all of them!) and is thinking of buying the 100 US$ device, but is worried that when technology changes (as is its wont), the box may be useless.

I thought about this (not the obsolescence, but the price) and I realized that our TV is pretty new (bought in Fall 2007 or after) and hey, my laptop has this thing and so does the TV, maybe they can be hooked up!

A quick googling later, and yes, they can. I even called Netflix to make sure it was kosher. (Maybe the wouldn't play, I don't know.)

I bought a TV this week (HD! a remote! CC available!) for only 150 US$. It's not tiny, about 15 inches, but it is easier to carry than the old one Goodwill will probably throw out soon. That one was 3rd hand - my sister's friend had it, than my sister, than I took it. It had 2000 etched on the back, among the other technological info, so it wasn't that old. It had an attached VCR that declared it was dying by, you know, eating tapes (FSM bless CDs and DVDs!). It had no remote. But what was bad was the volume was iffy, and hitting the down button under the word volume could lead to a number of things - making the channel go down, nothing, putting up some bizarre menu or something that required turning off the TV, and sometimes making the volume go down. It did have a major plus (my new one has this too) - I could hook up headphones and watch Bollywood into the wee hours on a screen smaller than my laptop, but dammit, it was on the TV without bothering anyone.

Now your TV needs a VGA port

And I think many new ones do - probably for video games. It also needs a headphone jack or anything saying audio in.

Then you get yourself a VGA cord or cable and an audio cable that goes from the headphone jack on your computer to the audio in on the TV. This is much cheaper than any streaming device (unless you already have the video game system that plays them in which case never mind) - I think I paid maybe $30 at RadioShack, and I needed their help because I got the wrong cord for the audio - the image showed up, but no sound.

I think Netflix is worth it, but I have a relatively new passion in my life that revolves around movies - Bollywood and foreign films. I think Netflix is best if you're a so-called "niche" viewer like me, and the turnaround is so cool. When I get an apologetic e-mail because a movie will be late, it arrives a day later or maybe 2 days later than the other ones. The horror! I send it in on Monday, I get an e-mail on Tuesday, and I have new movies on Wednesday. Even if it took an extra day, it would still be worth it to me because I get to try out so many movies without paying for them and regretting it (looking at you Maqbool and Mohabbatein - at least the latter has SRK, Aish, and pretty songs!). It would not be worth it for my mom, though she "requests" some movies, "if you don't mind" (I don't). If we end up living together as some wacky single ladies in the pacific northwest, we'll probably share the account. Or she'll tell me about some movie she may want to see, can you look it up for me? I've seen posts at BollyWhat from people sharing with non-Bollywood fans and those people are none to pleased with the changed recommendations or the Bollywood all over both Instant and regular queues.

RedBox seems to risky for me - if I didn't want to see it in theaters, I can wait. If I loved it enough when I did see it in theaters, I can buy it. Plus, it's all machine. Too many people have been billed because the machine never read the movie as turned in. And it just seems a waste of money - a dollar a night, what if you forget? Yes, if I hold on to my movies for a couple weeks, I'm not using my plan (3 at a time) to the fullest, but I still get charged the same amount a month.

And RedBox has a shitty foreign selection. Bah.

So my point is, if anyone reads this - I am no computer expert, but I was able to do this. Just some googling and some helpful people at the store is all you need, knowledge-wise. And a laptop, or a TV right next to the desktop.

And they had an adapter if your TV didn't have a VGA port, but it costs as much as a Netflix box. So meh.

One reason I'm really excited about my new TV is that over the summer break, I can watch Instant movies on my TV in my bed (like I'll be up there in that oven!). No, I think what we buy (or inherit/swipe from the house) in college is often our furniture in our first post-college place. And I don't need a big place, I don't have a big TV, but it has a remote*, and can be hooked up to my laptop.

Two shiny toys in one semester. Okay, my laptop isn't as shiny because of fingerprints, and I swear I will either take it with or me or order a cover from HP's site. Or I could do what I did with my old one and slap stickers all over it. The big Obama bumper sticker helped a lot. Also, it was a different material.

ETA - forgot the link, after I went through the trouble of describing it!

And I forgot to finish my thought.

*The TV we had for the longest time did not have a remote. It was huge and I loved it, but remotes are recent things for the TVs in our house - the VCR, DVD players, and cable boxes all had remotes, but you still had to... get up... to turn it on or off. And I don't remember if the cable volume buttons always worked.

So I'm like some stereotypical post-Communism girl going "real blue jeans!" I remember this from some YA book about Romania set pre-dissolution and pre-Ceauşescu's death. (I learned about him from a comic. Nasty fellow.)

Remote controls - despite the fact that I was born in '88 - have not been a big part of my TV life, especially those stretches without cable. The one we had in Iceland in 92-94, we kept until it died a few years back. Or we got rid of it. Anyways, no remote (and not much selection up on top of the world), but hooked up to cable or DVD, remote.

And for the last two and a half years, I've had a remote for my DVD player (only bought last spring) and nothing for the TV. With the shaky volume control, and my laziness/pain, it could make turning on the TV a pain in the ass, because I couldn't just mute it when done. I do have headphones that hooked up like I said, so I could leave it on with them plugged in and turned off (so as to not waste the battery). I spent the first semester (a relatively pain-free one) putting the heavy TV on an old TV table (meant for dinners, folded up nicely beside my bed) and plugging in my mp3 player headphones, so I was a foot away from the TV! Not my brightest moment, considering we had the headphones that let you move at home before then. (You can mow the lawn and listen to pandora if you're like my mom and not comfortable with portable music players. Plus, they could get sweaty or died green, like mowing shoes.)

I'm painfree, should be asleep, and chatty as all get out.

The Daily Helmsman pissed me off today.

I can't find the article on their website.

The article is basically fine - trying to start a "safe space" for GLBTQ students on campus.

Apparently, when students "expressed discomfort in class at the discrimination, they were sent to psychological services."

That is a terrible thing - homosexuality was removed from the DSM, remember? It's bad thing because queer kids aren't getting what they need, not because psych services are necessarily bad.

But the following quote was the one above the fold in big bold letters, so that's what I saw when I grabbed the paper.

"Going to the psychology building to say you're gay is like going to say you're crazy."

I'm e-mailing the paper and thinking of looking up the quoted student (a freshman, so she doesn't know any better) but damn, Talk about an insult. (I won't contact her.)

Here's the letter I'm sending:

The article in Friday's paper was hurtful and offensive. It is wrong to send GLBTQ students to psychological services, not because needing psychological services is something to be ashamed of, but because it is outdated thinking on the part of the school, and does not help our GLBTQ students at all.

However, I grabbed the paper today and staring me in the face was the pull quote.

"Going to the psychology building to say you're gay is like going to say you're crazy."

I go the psychology building. I get therapy there. There is nothing wrong with being crazy. The ablist tones in the article were disgusting.

There is no safe space or student group for students who are neuroatypical, who suffer from depression.

I support gay rights in any way I can, but I can't be quiet when I'm insulted. I am crazy, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Oh - their website - The Daily Helmsman

ETA - article is finally up - Students seek LGBT safe zone

And I got an e-mail response to my letter. My concerns are "invalid" and they didn't mean to insult people with mental health problems, so it won't be published.

With God on Our Side

I heard this song at the end of Constantine's Sword, a great documentary (available instantly from Netflix if you're curious and have an hour and a half to kill).

This is not the Bob Dylan original, but the cover by Aaron Neville. I love his voice.

Oh my name it is nothin’
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
l’s taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that the land that I live in
Has God on its side

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side

Oh the Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
l’s made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side

Oh the First World War, boys
It closed out its fate
The reason for fighting
I never got straight
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don’t count the dead
When God’s on your side

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side

I’ve learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war starts
It’s them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we’re forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God’s on your side

Through many dark hour
I’ve been thinkin’ about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can’t think for you
You’ll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side

So now as I’m leavin’
I’m weary as Hell
The confusion I’m feelin’
Ain’t no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God’s on our side
He’ll stop the next war

Today's Baby Blues is awesome

The comic:


First panel: Hammie is taking some books from a librarian who is behind a desk. She says, "There you are. These are due back in 21 days." Hammie says, "Okay."

Second Panel: Hammie is carrying his stack of books and walking next to Zoe who has none. Hammie says, "I hope I can finish all these by then." Zoe tells him, "You have to."

Third panel: Hammie says, "What?" Zoe says, "Your library card states that you must read every word of every book by the due date.... or else!" Her eyes are closed, the image of a knowledgeable person.

Fourth panel: Hammie's eyes are huge. He protests, "But these are CHAPTER BOOKS!" Zoe, looking up and away, as if at an adult, asks, "Have you ever seen such huge biceps on a librarian?"



For the record, I never believed this. I frequently check out stacks of books and sometimes go through them outside and turn them back in (the drive-up box). But I had my first encounter with late fees a couple years and I was so freaked out, a day late, and it was 25 cents. That's it?

This made me laugh.

In other comics news, the latest Funky Winkerbean storyline, dealing with Wally's PTSD (we'll finally find out where he was for 10 years, I assume) is not making me laugh. I'm fine with soap strips, but FW is disturbing me. The parts where he freaked out at his daughter's basketball game and his old girlfriend found a gun under his pillow? Too many people talk about how unfunny Funky is, but this shit is disturbing, especially in comic form (and FW is drawn in a comic style, not a soap-y one). It would have a trigger warning and be under a cut at any good website.

ETA: A thought about why this storyline is so disturbing - it's dealing with PTSD. A psychological thing. Is he going to be institutionalized? (=am I again?) I really don't like this. I want smirks and cancer cancer cancer. Incest cancer?

Also

I may or may not have spent the weekend at home with my fuzzfaces.

The last couple of days have been interesting. I woke up because I had to barf at early o'clock Sunday morning, shouted at my doctor Monday morning, and got back to campus in time to discover my class was canceled.

Now I just need a snow day.

Spring break in 2 weeks, ya'll! I've got a 6 page paper to write before then for a class where I don't take notes or do the readings. I am good at BSing, though.

My sister will be in Florida, I will be chez moi, playing with puppies and watching Jeopardy with my mommy. Yeah, I am that awesome.

Saturday, it was nice, so I sat outside to finish Maximum City (good book, but he's so blase about meeting SRK! And Hrithik and and and!) and had Wickett claim my lap. Mom looked out the window and thought he was quite ridiculous looking.

Mikey was jealous, as is his wont.

Dixie sat in the sun, rolled on her back, and enjoyed life, as is her wont.

Wickett let me pet him then yelled when I moved because he is a silly little brat and I miss him.

Getting the F over one's self.

Yesterday, my mom got lost. (For any relatives who still stick around, take a minute to go "Duh.")

She saw an international grocery store, and it said things like "Arabic" and "Indian" on the front window (along with Russian, Greek, so many countries!) and she knew I'd be excited.

I was. Especially since it's not far from my school.

My school is half in and half out of the bad/poor/black/poor black part of town. My white friend lives in a neighborhood filled with huge old growth trees and old postwar houses (some have these amazing pre-AC deep porches that make me want to become an architect. I'm weird) and lots of crime.

The grocery store is in that part.

Mom and I may have been the only white people in there, I was too busy looking for Bollywood DVDs only to be disappointed because my Arabic isn't that good and I forgot to check if they have English subtitles, something to look for next time!

The woman at the check-out was light skinned with an accent (from Ohio, I think she admitted that our winter was cold *Memphis snow day pride!*) and she didn't look at me like I was some weirdo for being white and buying something. I did, however, regret my 50 pounds of pennies when I learned they don't take cards. Mom ran out to get some cash.

I bought hummus and baklava. Someone brought hummus to my anthropology class last semester (3 hour night class, snacks about an hour in) and I loved it! I found the brand at Kroger, even in Tipton County. (Locals, locals, locals are you with me? Someone fetch the smelling salts!)

But then I read that the stuff here doesn't hold a candle to the real stuff. I remember the hummus from this cheap middle eastern restaurant, and bought the only container they had. It's decorated nicely with spices and ... green leaves? I am an American wuss and don't like it.

Oh well.

Anyway, to the title.

My sister went to the Wal-Mart in Raleigh by herself Friday evening, and felt so out of place because she was the only white person there!

When I went to the mall with her, she wouldn't let me go in a clothing store because it was for black people (bright colored t-shirts know no race!).

I always wanted to go back and go in there and find something pretty, but the malls are far away.

I don't think I'm the only white person at Bollywood movies, but when I arrived early for "New York" this summer, the only other people in the lighted theater were Indian. They wanted to make sure I was in the right place. (The movie was not advertised anywhere in the theater, you had to be in the know.)

I remember thinking about being the only white face at Dehli 6 a year ago, mostly because it was a 7 or 8 pm weeknight showing, and they wouldn't let us in the theater! So it's a bunch of Indian people and a girl in a Stanford hoodie (open so her SRK shirt shows) milling around. I felt more out of place because I was alone, and the themes in the beginning of the movie stressed family and friends.

My mom and I don't always see the same way on race, and my sister and I will never see eye to eye, but as we were driving through the old neighborhoods (not old money neighborhoods), she was talking about living there. (The porches! I love me a good porch!)

Maybe it was her time in Japan, maybe it was the military that opened her mind, because she is quite tolerant of my desire to wander through places like the international grocery store and that one in Knoxville, we looked for brands from Japan and I looked for the ones advertised on Bollywood DVDs. And with the Pepsi Throwback out (it has sugar, which improves the taste according to former Pepsi addict Mom), we are looking at foreign sodas. I got an orange one at a Mexican restaurant a couple weeks ago - no HFCS.

The one pity in all this? Neither of us are coffee drinkers (she likes the chocolate confections with a dash of coffee) so we can't test Arabic coffee! It's supposed to be stronger.

They not only had Nutella, they had other brands of hazelnut spread, oh drool.

Anyways, my point is be aware of your surrounding, but if you (and a companion) are the only whatevers in a group, get over it. Maybe you'll learn something.

Of course, my friend and I ate at some sub place a couple weeks ago, and she was like, "Kaitlyn, we're the only girls here." My response? "Stop taking us to gay bars, Elizabeth, and this won't happen!"

So yeah. Maybe it is white privilege that lets me wander around a Middle Eastern grocery in the poor part of Memphis (I haven't tried that baklava yet... this will be my third try. I keep hoping for the nirvana others talk about. Damn that stuff is rich!) um where was I going?

Happy Black History Month, ya'll!

I'm not going to the Civil Rights Museum because I cry and cry when I go, though I stop to gape at the conspiracies surrounding James Earl Ray (something ain't kosher, but still) and then continue crying. I don't know why.

I also cried during a video about the design of the Vietnam War memorial, but that was last semester which was an emotional roller coaster, so it may not count. But when I think of the memorial - of going there old enough to appreciate it - I start getting teary. And I lost no one in the fight.

An Assamese Song

I'm sorry I don't have any more information.

I think it's Assamese. That's all I've got.

Information about Assamese movies and music is very hard to find. Hindi? A breeze. Tamil? Still easy. Telugu? Yup. Kannada? A bit harder. Punjabi? Not too hard. Malayalam? A bit harder - and it doesn't help that spelling changes a lot, especially for non-Hindi films. (I'm sure they're spelled one way in Tamil/Telugu/Assamese/etc, but when they're transliterated, it all goes out the window. How many letters is needed?

I am feeling a bit stressed, because I am staring down the barrel of my own health insurance in about 18 months. If I go to PT tomorrow and they say yes, they think they can help, I could be seriously SOL. Not because I don't want it to work, but because it takes time, especially with something as murky as "feminine" problems possibly coupled with abdominal wall pain. So 6 months - no more pain! Or, er, try again? Except in 6 months, I'll be a year away from health insurance and the end of college (I hope). I won't have time for alternate ideas, like a hysterectomy. I can do one this summer, no problem. I don't think I'd have time next winter break (only 4-5 weeks), and next summer, I'd still be insured until August, except I can't have a lapse in coverage unless I'm incredibly rich, due to all my prescriptions, which require at least yearly visits to specialists. Oh well, with no insurance, I won't need referrals, so I can go straight to the specialist.

I seriously hate this country's medical industry. Health insurance should not be tied to your job (and your worth as a person shouldn't be tied to it either, but that's for another day) and the words "pre-existing condition" should not exist. Yes, I'll cost you money. No profit on the Kaitlyn file!

And since I hate this country, I'd love to move (except no more Netflix, first world sacrifices are hard) but what do I have to offer to Canada or the UK? Or Japan or France? Or any g-d country that takes care of its citizens? The quickest way to immigrate seems to be through work.

Let's look at that - I'd have to get a job and be good enough that they'd consider sending me overseas. I may get insurance (with high premiums) through this job. I can't work unless my pain is stable, and my pain isn't legally stable without insurance (or a lottery pay out).

Yes, I am an ungrateful little socialist brat. Most people have health insurance through work (their's, their spouse's, their parents) so they don't care. "I got mine, Jack, eff off!" I'm also selfish - "I DON'T got mine, Jack, help!" But by helping me, millions of others would get help.

I voted for Obama, so if I vote D in the midterms, I'll get insurance. (Of course Ds in Tennessee makes Rs look Democratic.)

So I've said it - I hate this place, I want to move. A little assistance, please? I mean, you'll be glad to be rid of me, since I'm such an ungrateful little commie.

It's really in all our best interest if I'm deported as soon as possible. My mom was in Canada and Japan before I was born, and I lived in Italy and Iceland as a child - pick one! Canada is my first choice, thanks!

My Name Is Khan partial review

I'm terrible with reviews, we all know that.

And I can't talk about My Name is Khan as a whole without spoiling it, plus I'm never sure what is and what is not a spoiler, so here are my thoughts on what worried me the most going in. (Not terrorism, terrorism in America, or immigrants in America - that's been done so many times in Bollywood.)

The title character has Asperger's Syndrome (AS). The director is Karan Johar - I've seen most of his movies and love them (Dostana is hilarious, though clearly in a parallel America where a man in a military uniform can admit to being gay!), but other people paid to review films don't always love his movies. They are emotionally manipulative, and subtle as a two by four upside your head. But some things don't need to be subtle. Plus, (for me) it was a good cry. I identified with these fictional characters and cried, I didn't have flashbacks to bad times like I did with Taare Zameen Par (which dealt with dyslexia).

Anyways, this will be the third time I've posted these comments. I originally posted them in the Chatterday open thread at FWD because another commenter asked for my thoughts.

Then I c&p'd it for Bollywhat when someone asked in the spoiler thread how AS was treated.

I haven't read professional reviews, but I have read what other members of BollyWHAT have said about the movie. It's not universally loved, but everyone loved SRK's performance and the problems in the movie have nothing to do with AS and how it's portrayed, but other things.

Here is what I wrote soon after seeing it:

Onto the Asperger’s Syndrome. Rizvan Khan (SRK) takes the time in the first half to introduce himself to the people at Mandira’s (Kajol) job – this is what he has, this is who it’s named after, he is not “pagal”, he is smart. At one point, Mandira tells him to stop with this “loop” and the “encyclopedia.”

He takes things literally, which is why he’s doing what he’s doing – he can’t go home until he does what Mandira tells him to do. (which comes after a heart wrenching scene – so quiet in the theater) He hates the color yellow and loud sounds. He also repeats what people say when he can’t come up with something himself (especially related to emotions) or he reverts back to the encyclopedia.

He can repair almost anything, so his “genius” overshadows his brother, resentment, etc, but his mother loves him and gets him a private tutor because the other students at school are jerks.

We see two tools he uses so the world isn’t too much – ear plugs, of course, but a video camera, because as his SIL tells him (she teaches psychology and gets him an official diagnosis), it’s like the world is on TV, so it won’t be so scary. (This is soon after he moves to America, San Francisco, noise people noise!)

What was really touching was the disclaimer at the beginning – something like this is not the definitive behavior for AS, this is a fictional story about one man.

He is not cured, he does not “overcome” his disability, and he is the main character, he does not teach those around him to “live life to the fullest.” He does help people, but not because he’s autistic, but because he helps them. By doing things. Like… *drumroll* anybody else!

So there were some iffy moments (so much jammed in the last 30 minutes) but overall, a great movie and I think a great representation of somebody with Asperger’s.

And I thought it would be cool to put a kind of review on my blog.

The bolded part is the most important to me - PWD are inspiring just because they have disabilities in most pop culture narratives and movies. Rizvan is inspiring because of what he does, because of what happens to him, but not because he has AS.

Well, school started on the 14th.

I've had to drop one class because of health issues, which is never fun.

But we got a snow day today! It was so funny - the e-mails went out at 9 last night, and there wasn't snow on the ground yet. In fact, the e-mails said it was because of the 'warnings' that they were closing school. No snow on the ground at 8, but by 10:30 there was!

And in happy news, Scott Roeder, terrorist, was convicted of first degree murder for the assassination of Dr. Tiller. He shot the man in his church over the summer. Dr. Tiller was one of the few doctors out there providing so-called "late-term abortions." And before you go ew!, read the stories from his patients - these abortions were done to save lives, these were wanted children, and this was a lot of work. He was a good man. (I'm sorry, I can't find the link right now. They were heartbreaking.)

Scott Roeder is a horrible man and a terrorist. Never forget that.

Also -



see more Political Pictures

Wickett and his Fear

This was taken after he was forced to go inside the evil evil evil vet. Do you know what they did? Bathed him and dried him with a blow dryer. He was so fluffy and so cute! (But don't tell him that.)

"It's from a movie!"

Today I needed a ride to my mom's job because my doctor appointment... blah blah blah.

I had to ride with Becky and her friend.

They watched "The Hangover" last night.

Within a couple minutes, Becky used the word "retarded" (or "retard") in a derogatory manner. ("That's so -" or "You're such a -") I objected and asked her not to use that word.

Her response?

"It was in the movie!"

It wasn't even a clever insult using derogatory, cruel language. Just a plain ol' insult. Used everywhere. (They also said other things from the movie about casinos - nothing funny to me, the third party who hadn't seen the movie. If you're going to quote a movie, shouldn't you use a funny or interesting quote to make somebody want to see it and not just go "Hee hee we have an in-joke!")

I didn't tell her this, because she doesn't care. But I wanted to say it. And hey, here's my blog. (She would see it if I said anything on Facebook.)

If you quote a movie, you are endorsing the use of the language in the quote. If I watched the Hangover and liked it, I would like it despite the use of the word "retarded." I would not go around using it, saying it's the movie. This was a phrase my sister liked and felt comfortable saying.

I can analyze a character's use of a word or bigoted thinking without endorsing it. (The difference between agreeing with the sexist BS on "The Simpsons" and analyzing it.) And I think that just repeating it is an endorsement. (Of course, you could be repeating it to go "WTFOMG can you believe they said that?" But that's not what happened.)

Another thing - using song lyrics as a status on Facebook, or anywhere else. My sister and my cousin and some friends do it all the time. I hate it. Some of the lyrics are disturbing, so my mom will ask her about it. "It's just a song!" If you felt comfortable enough to repeat it, you better be ready to explain it.

To sum up - do not hide behind the fact that you are using someone else's words when you say something offensive. You felt comfortable repeating it, that is the problem.

Mikey and his Snuggie

Yes, it is an official Snuggie brand Snuggie.

He adores it, or he doesn't mind it. He got so much praise when Beck put it on him!

It doesn't restrict his movement, though sometimes he freaks out because it's on his tail.

I bought it as a gag gift for Christmas. Maybe for Mikey, maybe for Wickett. Well, Mikey is shaved nekkid and he was helping us open presents, so he got it! Now he looks naked without it.

He is too much.

As for humans and Snuggies - Becky got a fashionable one - the zebra print one. She doesn't dance like they do in some of the ads, no matter how much I ask.

Schooled by Anisha Lakhani

Schooled is shaping up to be a good, funny book. (The parts about Lifetime movies had me laughing and annoying my mom by reading them to her.)

The main character is a first year teacher, fresh out of Columbia, at an exclusive private school. I've only made it to the orientation week, before she meets the students.

Right now, she has to read the student's files.

One child has a peanut allergy, "acute, life-threatening peanut allergies. You are responsible if so much as a peanut, or anything in the vicinity of a peanut, enters the classroom. He could die."

Also in the file is the fact that his father had an affair, his family is rich, etc etc.

On the next page, the main character mentally describes the future student as "an overindulged child who would probably think nothing of the sacrifice I would have to make in giving up my peanut M&Ms addiction lest I so much as breathe on him."

I can't get over this sentence. I can't tell if the writer wants us to go what the fuck is wrong with this woman or agree with her, because it's so hard to not eat candy during the school day.

It just really rubs me the wrong way. The kid is undeniably "overindulged," but it has nothing to do with his allergy. And the fact that the writer used to be a teacher...

Of course, this is like complaining because the serial killer on the TV kicked a puppy. I can accept the greater "bad" premise, but little things feel wrong.

Or maybe it's a sign of the character's immaturity?

I mean, what the fuck? It's so hard to make sure one of your students doesn't die.

Pain medication

3 Idiots was an almost perfect painkiller - except for some pain from the pants and upright position about halfway through, I was all wrapped up in the story and because it was at the theatre, unable to pause and move around, causing myself more pain.

(3 Idiots is really good - I laughed, I cried, I wrote a cliche.)

But the worst pain killer is my pain medication.

I requested a liver test this year (just another thing to test when the vampires take my blood) and everything was fine.

But.

I react to medications very quickly - within a week or so, what "should" take a month to work, has already worked and stopped working for me. So I build up a tolerance to pain medication quickly.

And run into so many headaches - why are you out of this a week before your appointment?

Because if I followed your directions, I'd be in the ER!

But that's "angry," don't "yell," or "I'm leaving." (Way to be supportive Mom - yes I over analyzed everything, I've been dealing with horrid pain for a week! Because I followed the directions.)

So the polite thing is to just grit my teeth and explain for what feels like the millionth time that "One pill does not last 6 hours."

And of course it's fucking invisible. When I had visible indicators of pain, no one quibbled.

The worst part is that over the last couple weeks, I have been denied the one "safe" place for the people with chronic pain - the bed. Laying down hurts. Taking a deep breath hurts.

I am so tired, and not just because it is 3 am. (Wasn't I going to watch a Punjabi movie a million years ago?)