The question today is: My boyfriend and I want to get married. Our parents want us to wait until we're done with college. We don't want to. Would it be wrong if we secretly got married?
Why was this sent into a religious column? Any of the other advice ones would suffice. Unless they're both super-religious and want to get married so they can boink like bunnies.
His answer was something sensible for the first half - Consider this. If you secretly get married, you could cause a rift of mistrust between you and your parents. Maybe they've seen other couples (or even were in their first marriage! - sez I) do the same thing, and they don't want you to mess up your education.
But Christ is important. Is he in your life, guiding your decision?
Look, anonymous college couple - do what you want - you are adults. But he's right. Think about it first. If you're truly in love, marriage can wait until after graduation - you can live together for the last year off campus to see how you get along living together.
School is stressful. (So I hear...It's only April, it's only April, it's only April.)
Marriages are not easy, as I've seen.
I think you should wait a year, anonymous couple. (Seriously, they never print aliases like "Confused in Columbus" for the good reverend, Miss Manners, or Doctor Gott.)
If your relationship can handle being engaged, finishing school, and starting out in the world before marriage, doesn't that make it stronger?
I am full of shit, of course, I've never been in adult relationship. I've never been on a date - I don't want to right now, but who knows what will happen in the fall?
School should be the priority, it's your last year.
Unless one of you is pregnant (I'm betting my scholarship it's the woman, if that's the case), and doesn't want the baby to be a bastard - just born 2 months early to the family (and right on time to the doctors).
Anyways, you're adults. Boink like bunnies, cohabitate, do what you want. But don't put your education on hold for marriage or kids. You won't get another chance for another decade, at least. At worst, until the kid is off at school.
I agree with the good reverend (again!). Consider marriage, consider your school work. School should top marriage, and if generations ago, couples could wait through war, the last year of school shouldn't be too hard.
But don't make a decision solely based on your parents' desires - it should all be you. You need to make your own mistakes, you're adults.
I would not get married in college - even if I met the man of dreams, even if everything worked perfectly. I probably wouldn't even get married the month after graduation - I want to get out on my own two feet before considering a long-term relationship.
But then again, you've seen pictures of me, so my marriage proposals are pretty close to zero and probably will be for a few years, and I'm fine with that.
My education will be paid for by scholarships and government money. I'm already going to waste some with my bad health, I don't need relationships cluttering it up as well.
So this is the second time I agree with the good reverend. Does it mean I'm religious or he's questioning his faith?
Nah, just means we both agree on certain things, but not one big thing - to him, anyway.
It happens - people with different beliefs agree on some things. It's shocking in a country where there is no middle ground portrayed in the media, but most of us agree on things, just not all.
And that's good - it helps keep us from killing each other because we've got common ground, but it leads to debates and discussions over what we disagree on.
Er, did that make sense to anyone? I blame the meds and the god-awful hour - 7!